The Amateur's Poem: Negredo.

[Norse 88]

To My Fellow SS,

I have written a short poem after reading about the "Nigredo" in the JoS Encyclopedia.

It's my first time sharing poetry here, and I've never really written much poetry before so I'm happy to admit being an amateur (totally!), so please be sparing if you find it awful. I'd really appreciate some positive feedback and I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you.

"NEGREDO"

PEACOCK
DRAGON
RAVEN
GOAT
RHYTHMIC PUMPING NAVAL SERPENT
NE-GRE-DO
THE COLOURS OF THE SUN

COCCYX
SACRUM
SHAKTI
BONE
HEAVEN POINTED INDICE TWINE
NIGHT BEFORE THE DAWN

SOLAR
MANTRA
BREATH
REPLETE
KUNDALINI SERPENT POWER
ANCIENT PATH BEGUN

LUMBAR
LEARNING
SUSHUMNA
BURNING
DROSS TO NOTHING IN THE FLAMES
MELTING STONE TO NONE

LUMINESCE
BREATHING
LIGHTNING
STRIKING
THE GATE UNTIL IT OPENS WIDE
NE-GRE-DO
THE COLOURS OF THE SUN

EARTHED
CRACKLING
SKIES
A'BLAZING
AZURE SERPENT SCORCHING FORWARD
MOON'S NEW LIGHT BEGUN
NE-GRE-DO
COLOURED BY THE SUN

NADIS
SHINING
STILLNESS
ENTWINING
ROOTED HELL BRANCHING SEVEN
PLEXUS SOL AND SPUN

SEALS
TURNING
MAGMA
CHURNING
IGNITING PRANA SMASHING HEAVEN
YEARNING COMES UNDONE

TEMPERED
ALONE
IMMORTALS
HONE
PERCHING HALO SITTING SERPENT
ETERNAL WORTHY ONE
NE-GRE-DO
THE GOD BORN FROM THE SUN

FROM TWO
THREE
FOREVER BECOMING ONE
NE-GRE-DO
THE NEVER SETTING SUN

 

[SaqqaraNox]

Very nice, I appreciated it. You have a very peculiar writing style, not very elaborate I must say, but the effect of the few and direct words you use in your poem do their part very well.

The concepts resonate in my mind very clearly.

 

[Norse 88]

Very nice, I appreciated it. You have a very peculiar writing style, not very elaborate I must say, but the effect of the few and direct words you use in your poem do their part very well.

The concepts resonate in my mind very clearly.

Thank you so much for your feedback, I was really delighted to read it.

I can appreciate that you think my writing is peculiar (I'm sometimes like this even when I don't mean to be!). I knew this would be a different approach from most poetry on the forums and I was happy to try something different.

I've not written much poetry, and I've certainly not pertained to traditional rules or standards that use patterns of rhyme. Instead, deciding to go my own way, I did my best to use single words to illustrate the journey of an initiate from the beginning of his spiritual growth and finally through to the Magnum Opus, and, to that effect, I think I was somewhat successful.

Still lots of room for improvement, but I am encouraged by your response.

Thanks for taking the time to spare a few thoughts. It really means a lot.

 

[Ara666]

Very nice, I appreciated it. You have a very peculiar writing style, not very elaborate I must say, but the effect of the few and direct words you use in your poem do their part very well.

The concepts resonate in my mind very clearly.

Thank you so much for your feedback, I was really delighted to read it.

I can appreciate that you think my writing is peculiar (I'm sometimes like this even when I don't mean to be!). I knew this would be a different approach from most poetry on the forums and I was happy to try something different.

I've not written much poetry, and I've certainly not pertained to traditional rules or standards that use patterns of rhyme. Instead, deciding to go my own way, I did my best to use single words to illustrate the journey of an initiate from the beginning of his spiritual growth and finally through to the Magnum Opus, and, to that effect, I think I was somewhat successful.

Still lots of room for improvement, but I am encouraged by your response.

Thanks for taking the time to spare a few thoughts. It really means a lot.

It is different indeed.

But you know, poetry doesn't have to use rhymes. That's why we have prose poetry (it's a type of poetry that doesn't use rhymes but uses other elements).

Sometimes, using only a few words can easily get the message across.

Don't feel bad for what you wrote.

And you know what they say: practice makes perfect. So... You know what to do.

Looking forward to read your next poem about the next stage of the Magnum Opus.

 

[Norse 88]

It is different indeed.

But you know, poetry doesn't have to use rhymes. That's why we have prose poetry (it's a type of poetry that doesn't use rhymes but uses other elements).

Sometimes, using only a few words can easily get the message across.

Don't feel bad for what you wrote.

And you know what they say: practice makes perfect. So... You know what to do.

Looking forward to read your next poem about the next stage of the Magnum Opus.

Thank you so much, Ara666.

What's you've said was really encouraging and informative.

Admittedly, I didn't know what prose poetry was, and now I'm reading about it - thank you! I don't think I've ever learned anything formal about poetry before. I guess I was just going by what felt right...amateurish, I know, but I'm not ashamed to be new to something; you've gotta start somewhere, right?.

I feel silly admitting it, but I guess am shy and overly self-conscious... (My ego! Wahhh! )

So thank you for also telling me not to feel bad for what I wrote. (Could you tell I've been slightly hesitant in sharing this?) :lol: I suppose my self-confidence could use some assistance and this is a gentle reminder to notice that. Thanks, man. Means a lot.

These comments so far are really blowing me away. I'm so grateful that everyone is being so supportive and generous with their feedback. It's really wonderful.

Just about every negative event ran through my head before posting this topic, and I'm glad I went through with it despite the fear.

Thanks to comments like this, I'm going to keep practicing.

Hail Satan and thank you once again.

 

[Ara666]

Admittedly, I didn't know what prose poetry was, and now I'm reading about it - thank you! I don't think I've ever learned anything formal about poetry before. I guess I was just going by what felt right...amateurish, I know, but I'm not ashamed to be new to something; you've gotta start somewhere, right?.

You know, I read somewhere a while ago that poetry is the language of the soul; and I do believe in this. Even without knowing a thing about poetry, you have instinctively done the right thing by going with how you felt, as this is exactly how it should be done.

I feel silly admitting it, but I guess am shy and overly self-conscious... (My ego! Wahhh! )

So thank you for also telling me not to feel bad for what I wrote. (Could you tell I've been slightly hesitant in sharing this?) :lol: I suppose my self-confidence could use some assistance and this is a gentle reminder to notice that. Thanks, man. Means a lot.

I've been there. I know how you feel. Working to clean my solar plexus chakra, and other workings to empower it, has been a tremendous help for me. I did other workings to get rid of other issues/obstacles and somehow, this has increased my self-confidence. A very deep cleaning can even help with this, or self-hypnosis, etc. Maybe ask your GD to advise you which working would be best for you.

These comments so far are really blowing me away. I'm so grateful that everyone is being so supportive and generous with their feedback. It's really wonderful.

Just about every negative event ran through my head before posting this topic, and I'm glad I went through with it despite the fear.

Thanks to comments like this, I'm going to keep practicing.

Hail Satan and thank you once again.

Fear is in everyone's head, especially when one is trying to express their creativity.

Seriously, don't give up. It's only by practicing that you will eventually find your "style".

 

[Norse 88]

Admittedly, I didn't know what prose poetry was, and now I'm reading about it - thank you! I don't think I've ever learned anything formal about poetry before. I guess I was just going by what felt right...amateurish, I know, but I'm not ashamed to be new to something; you've gotta start somewhere, right?.

You know, I read somewhere a while ago that poetry is the language of the soul; and I do believe in this. Even without knowing a thing about poetry, you have instinctively done the right thing by going with how you felt, as this is exactly how it should be done.

I feel silly admitting it, but I guess am shy and overly self-conscious... (My ego! Wahhh! )

So thank you for also telling me not to feel bad for what I wrote. (Could you tell I've been slightly hesitant in sharing this?) :lol: I suppose my self-confidence could use some assistance and this is a gentle reminder to notice that. Thanks, man. Means a lot.

I've been there. I know how you feel. Working to clean my solar plexus chakra, and other workings to empower it, has been a tremendous help for me. I did other workings to get rid of other issues/obstacles and somehow, this has increased my self-confidence. A very deep cleaning can even help with this, or self-hypnosis, etc. Maybe ask your GD to advise you which working would be best for you.

These comments so far are really blowing me away. I'm so grateful that everyone is being so supportive and generous with their feedback. It's really wonderful.

Just about every negative event ran through my head before posting this topic, and I'm glad I went through with it despite the fear.

Thanks to comments like this, I'm going to keep practicing.

Hail Satan and thank you once again.

Fear is in everyone's head, especially when one is trying to express their creativity.

Seriously, don't give up. It's only by practicing that you will eventually find your "style".

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response. I'll keep at it!