Hi, I have been a member since I was very young, 14 exactly. And I have been encountering a lot of issues lately in my path.
There is someone, perhaps a group of people trying to make me pay some kind of price, for something that perhaps someone in my family has done, or maybe another person that I knew from the past, that made a deal with something that they're trying to put the cost onto me with. I'm dealing with constant attacks, illusions being woven around me; everywhere I go there is someone there that is trying to make me pay a fee of something. I'm not sure if it's because of things I have done, or my family has done, or perhaps this person from my past. But the attacks have been relentless; on my reputation, my sexuality, my image, my dream base chakra, my sanctuary, my relationships, my friendships, my sanity, my peace, my beliefs, etc.
I've been on my path for a really long time, on the left hand path. And the past few years I've had people telling me that I need to be saved, and all the usual dogma. I've ignored it, but there are people in a church near my house and other places around here that are constantly using spiritual teachings to attack me, spy on me, etc. make me come to the church.
I've done so many things to protect myself, my space, energy field, etc. and it is relentless. I have called upon many Gods for protection and others, and they do help me, but then as soon as they are busy dealing with other things, it starts all over again. It is neverending. And I don't understand exactly what is happening.
I feel like a whole group of people is seriously messing with me and breaching my privacy and energy field. I've done enough scrying and meditation and readings to know it is a group of people. Well this group has done extremely significant things to mess with my life, and try to keep me trapped in my house, and everywhere I go im fighting the spiritual battle, and everywhere I go someone is trying to make me pay some "fee or price" and for what, I genuinely do not understand.
The last few years have been incredibly rough, on my spiritual journey. I have faced the hardest dark night of the soul I ever have. And what was attacking me made me lose my resolve and I kind of lost my beliefs for a while, for anything at all. Because it was just too much overwhelming things. I had people calling me at my job, showing up at my work, doing drive bys, doing all kinds of crazy things. I had people I tried to be in relationships with, that pretended to respect my beliefs and then told me that "I needed to be saved," or I was "Mary Magdalene" or other people calling my work and telling me I was "Inanna," "Artemis," etc. ive had people try to also convince me that I was the "Jezebel" because i wouldnt submit to their beliefs. Or that one of my exes was "The Beast" it just kind of goes on and on. It has been coming, from people I used to know, all the way to random people I have never met, everywhere I go. People sometimes look at me and spit like there is evil inside of me or something attached to me. It has been incredibly damaging to my psyche. All of this stuff started happening when I went on some antidepressants, and my aura became weaker than it had ever been, and these attacks swooped in like never before. I have extremely strong psychic abilities and when my aura was weakened, a bunch of things and people swooped in and started trying to channel through me. And it made things get even crazier in my life.
And now I have something, that is always above me, that just watches me and stays there. Literally 24/7. And I don't know who it is, spiritually. I have not been able to see or figure it out, because it changes sometimes. And everyone else stares above my head, they can see it, and they all react differently. Some are scared, some are amused, some are angry; a lot of people glare at me. It's always right above my head, or on the wall or anywhere near me. It sits close by, and I don't know what it is, or who it is. I haven't been able to figure it out. The closest I've seen is seeing a black shadow figure, and sometimes I see many of them around me, and no matter what I try to do, to banish them they do NOT leave no matter what. But they watch everything I do, and they try to affect the workings and magic I'm trying to do to protect myself, or defend myself from this group of people and all these people messing with me.
I will say, I'm not sure if anyone has any experience with this, but the Masonic Lodge had members of it at each job I worked at (which I genuinely did NOT know until long after working at each place.) and I don't know if it's them, because when I left these jobs I totally called them out on their practices and stood up to them. And I know that they do "act together" in their little groups and try to ruin people's lives, exactly how I've explained, when you cross one member of them. But that's not something that's ever stopped me from standing up for myself before, and it sure as hell isn't going to now.
I've had justice for some things, I have had some God's, like Thor and Tyr helping to protect me. They literally shot lighting at one of the last places I worked where a lot of the weird stuff happening with people "trying to save me" and the other things happening there. But the attacks never end, they're relentless. No matter what I do, there's people spiritually spying on me (astrally), or there these shadow people, or a literal church that opened up near my house that has a "dream team" that messes with peoples dream base chakras, or the thing thats always above/next to me/behind me, etc. and all the magic i try to cast with my voice is being negated, or thrown back at me immediately, and there is someone who put strong bindings around me, Red and Purple, to try and tie me to negative associations with those colors. I invoked a prophetic dream and saw the guy sitting at a table with all these other young guys and then they all became silent, and he threw the bindings back onto me. And I have not been able to break them, no matter what I cast or what magic I do.
The best bet I've had is doing my magic on the most sporadic times of the day, when I do vibrate runes, or just writing it down and then listening to music of the runes to enact it, because it seems like everything I speak out loud is being negated. And all the people watching me and trying to listen to what I'm doing or saying, are seriously messing with me trying to defend myself or stand up for myself in any way at all.
The beings I call upon to protect me, usually word does not reach them until after a lot of things have already happened, and then justice is served in some way or another, but then it starts all over again. It is never ending. I have gone through so many people, trying to figure out who it is, and I am still trying to figure it all out. Because it happens everywhere I go, even with people I have never met before. But apparently, they all know me, they all know who I am, they all know everything about me, everywhere I go.
I'm not even kidding. Every place I go to or I apply to or anyone I talk to, ends up slipping weird personal details about me that I've never told them before. Like this group is speaking to other people about me, with everything they find out about what I say or what I'm doing. It's seriously, like damaging to my psyche.
I'm sure some people are gonna think I might be making some of this up but I'm not, I've been dealing with this for quite a few years.
I've had people telling me "I'm playing both sides," and "everyone's coming for me," and "you have to make a choice." About literally everything. I have left so many jobs because it's always come down to something weird about a price or fee I owe, or about "making a choice spiritually and picking a side," or any and every number of things. It's been legitimately crazy. It's been the same with relationships like I've stopped trying to pursue any because at some point the other person breaks down and tells me they think I'm some character from the Bible or that I'm some Goddess or something. It always goes either way, like one or the other. Or they tell me I need to forget one of my exes because "he's the Beast." Like I literally cannot more than half of the time. It always ends up becoming something really strange and weird, at every job I have, every friendship or relationship I pursue.
And the attacks got the point where these things and people were attacking my animals, my literal spiritual familiars, or using them to attack me. I would wake up with terrible nightmares of my greatest fear and my normal pets would have their eyes completely blacked out and just staring at me menacingly, they were not themselves. Or sometimes they would stare above my head at the being and piss themselves or whimper and scream. To the point where I decided to give them up for adoption, because I thought, at least they would be in a much safer place away from all of these things happening. And I had to do what was best for them, no matter how I felt about it. And they're much happier now, in their new homes, and they don't have to deal with all the craziness that's going on here.
Every time I talk to my brother, there is always something or someone else trying to communicate with me, but most of the time it's something completely malicious and it hates me, and wants to bring me down, and vibrate on a lower frequency, to be open to attacks, or to doubt myself and my abilities, so I stay on that frequency. It is just absolutely ridiculous.
And every time I speak out loud about leaving this house, and leaving this state, and my family (because it happens with my dad too), I get a lot of really crazy things happening to me, even worse than the other things I've mentioned, that force me to pay most of the money I have saved up to leave, so I must be stuck here. It is a constant cycle, and I don't even really speak to people about anything going on in my life at all anymore; my dreams, my goals, what is going good for me, or anything. Not to anyone or anything, and especially not online or in my house or anything, because something crazy starts happening every time, and it is ruined for me. It's also happened with relationships and jobs and just everything really. And then it comes back to "you have to make a choice" or "there's a cost for this and you have to start paying up" like literally what??
What cost is it I'm paying? What do I supposedly owe?
What choice am I supposed to be making, what does it have to do with and who or what is trying to make me choose, what exactly?
Why is this happening? Is the purpose to make me lose my faith in myself, my abilities, my beliefs and above all, my sanity?
This has been happening, for so many years I don't even know where to begin it or end it.
People also keep on telling me, "you need to come home," "I hope you remember me," "they found you again," "don't you ever just want to wake up?" I feel like constant illusions are being weaved around me, by so many different people and things. And so much is happening to me, and around me. That I just end up ignoring most of all of it, and I continue on my spiritual journey, because the moment I feed into any of it, or all of it, the worse it gets. If I even focus on any of these things, at all, it gives whoever is doing all of it, power to what they're doing, and then my life starts to fall apart again and weird crazy things happen to make me be stuck here. Or if anyone finds out how well my life is going, or how much money I'm making, or I'm in some type of relationship or friendship, it gets sabotaged severely. And then all of a sudden there isn't much work available to me at the job I'm at, the person I'm with does a total 180° on their personality and values, and starts saying all the weird things to me that other people around me do. And then someone or something else is trying to communicate with me again, and it starts all over again.
I don't leave my home anymore except for work, errands or the park.
I don't speak to my family about much of anything, because more than half the time their eyes are not their normal colors, and they're saying really strange things to me (not themselves at all.) and I absolutely do not speak to anyone or anything about anything in my life, especially with work or moving out or anything. Because it genuinely never ends or never stops, and gets a lot worse when I do. It is relentless. If anyone has any advice, or knowledge to share, or anything at all. I would appreciate it.
I've also had people tell me that I was their "sister" or sibling, of people I've never met before. The "I hope you remember me" thing has happened a lot.
Thanks for listening.
-PP
There is someone, perhaps a group of people trying to make me pay some kind of price, for something that perhaps someone in my family has done, or maybe another person that I knew from the past, that made a deal with something that they're trying to put the cost onto me with. I'm dealing with constant attacks, illusions being woven around me; everywhere I go there is someone there that is trying to make me pay a fee of something. I'm not sure if it's because of things I have done, or my family has done, or perhaps this person from my past. But the attacks have been relentless; on my reputation, my sexuality, my image, my dream base chakra, my sanctuary, my relationships, my friendships, my sanity, my peace, my beliefs, etc.
I've been on my path for a really long time, on the left hand path. And the past few years I've had people telling me that I need to be saved, and all the usual dogma. I've ignored it, but there are people in a church near my house and other places around here that are constantly using spiritual teachings to attack me, spy on me, etc. make me come to the church.
I've done so many things to protect myself, my space, energy field, etc. and it is relentless. I have called upon many Gods for protection and others, and they do help me, but then as soon as they are busy dealing with other things, it starts all over again. It is neverending. And I don't understand exactly what is happening.
I feel like a whole group of people is seriously messing with me and breaching my privacy and energy field. I've done enough scrying and meditation and readings to know it is a group of people. Well this group has done extremely significant things to mess with my life, and try to keep me trapped in my house, and everywhere I go im fighting the spiritual battle, and everywhere I go someone is trying to make me pay some "fee or price" and for what, I genuinely do not understand.
The last few years have been incredibly rough, on my spiritual journey. I have faced the hardest dark night of the soul I ever have. And what was attacking me made me lose my resolve and I kind of lost my beliefs for a while, for anything at all. Because it was just too much overwhelming things. I had people calling me at my job, showing up at my work, doing drive bys, doing all kinds of crazy things. I had people I tried to be in relationships with, that pretended to respect my beliefs and then told me that "I needed to be saved," or I was "Mary Magdalene" or other people calling my work and telling me I was "Inanna," "Artemis," etc. ive had people try to also convince me that I was the "Jezebel" because i wouldnt submit to their beliefs. Or that one of my exes was "The Beast" it just kind of goes on and on. It has been coming, from people I used to know, all the way to random people I have never met, everywhere I go. People sometimes look at me and spit like there is evil inside of me or something attached to me. It has been incredibly damaging to my psyche. All of this stuff started happening when I went on some antidepressants, and my aura became weaker than it had ever been, and these attacks swooped in like never before. I have extremely strong psychic abilities and when my aura was weakened, a bunch of things and people swooped in and started trying to channel through me. And it made things get even crazier in my life.
And now I have something, that is always above me, that just watches me and stays there. Literally 24/7. And I don't know who it is, spiritually. I have not been able to see or figure it out, because it changes sometimes. And everyone else stares above my head, they can see it, and they all react differently. Some are scared, some are amused, some are angry; a lot of people glare at me. It's always right above my head, or on the wall or anywhere near me. It sits close by, and I don't know what it is, or who it is. I haven't been able to figure it out. The closest I've seen is seeing a black shadow figure, and sometimes I see many of them around me, and no matter what I try to do, to banish them they do NOT leave no matter what. But they watch everything I do, and they try to affect the workings and magic I'm trying to do to protect myself, or defend myself from this group of people and all these people messing with me.
I will say, I'm not sure if anyone has any experience with this, but the Masonic Lodge had members of it at each job I worked at (which I genuinely did NOT know until long after working at each place.) and I don't know if it's them, because when I left these jobs I totally called them out on their practices and stood up to them. And I know that they do "act together" in their little groups and try to ruin people's lives, exactly how I've explained, when you cross one member of them. But that's not something that's ever stopped me from standing up for myself before, and it sure as hell isn't going to now.
I've had justice for some things, I have had some God's, like Thor and Tyr helping to protect me. They literally shot lighting at one of the last places I worked where a lot of the weird stuff happening with people "trying to save me" and the other things happening there. But the attacks never end, they're relentless. No matter what I do, there's people spiritually spying on me (astrally), or there these shadow people, or a literal church that opened up near my house that has a "dream team" that messes with peoples dream base chakras, or the thing thats always above/next to me/behind me, etc. and all the magic i try to cast with my voice is being negated, or thrown back at me immediately, and there is someone who put strong bindings around me, Red and Purple, to try and tie me to negative associations with those colors. I invoked a prophetic dream and saw the guy sitting at a table with all these other young guys and then they all became silent, and he threw the bindings back onto me. And I have not been able to break them, no matter what I cast or what magic I do.
The best bet I've had is doing my magic on the most sporadic times of the day, when I do vibrate runes, or just writing it down and then listening to music of the runes to enact it, because it seems like everything I speak out loud is being negated. And all the people watching me and trying to listen to what I'm doing or saying, are seriously messing with me trying to defend myself or stand up for myself in any way at all.
The beings I call upon to protect me, usually word does not reach them until after a lot of things have already happened, and then justice is served in some way or another, but then it starts all over again. It is never ending. I have gone through so many people, trying to figure out who it is, and I am still trying to figure it all out. Because it happens everywhere I go, even with people I have never met before. But apparently, they all know me, they all know who I am, they all know everything about me, everywhere I go.
I'm not even kidding. Every place I go to or I apply to or anyone I talk to, ends up slipping weird personal details about me that I've never told them before. Like this group is speaking to other people about me, with everything they find out about what I say or what I'm doing. It's seriously, like damaging to my psyche.
I'm sure some people are gonna think I might be making some of this up but I'm not, I've been dealing with this for quite a few years.
I've had people telling me "I'm playing both sides," and "everyone's coming for me," and "you have to make a choice." About literally everything. I have left so many jobs because it's always come down to something weird about a price or fee I owe, or about "making a choice spiritually and picking a side," or any and every number of things. It's been legitimately crazy. It's been the same with relationships like I've stopped trying to pursue any because at some point the other person breaks down and tells me they think I'm some character from the Bible or that I'm some Goddess or something. It always goes either way, like one or the other. Or they tell me I need to forget one of my exes because "he's the Beast." Like I literally cannot more than half of the time. It always ends up becoming something really strange and weird, at every job I have, every friendship or relationship I pursue.
And the attacks got the point where these things and people were attacking my animals, my literal spiritual familiars, or using them to attack me. I would wake up with terrible nightmares of my greatest fear and my normal pets would have their eyes completely blacked out and just staring at me menacingly, they were not themselves. Or sometimes they would stare above my head at the being and piss themselves or whimper and scream. To the point where I decided to give them up for adoption, because I thought, at least they would be in a much safer place away from all of these things happening. And I had to do what was best for them, no matter how I felt about it. And they're much happier now, in their new homes, and they don't have to deal with all the craziness that's going on here.
Every time I talk to my brother, there is always something or someone else trying to communicate with me, but most of the time it's something completely malicious and it hates me, and wants to bring me down, and vibrate on a lower frequency, to be open to attacks, or to doubt myself and my abilities, so I stay on that frequency. It is just absolutely ridiculous.
And every time I speak out loud about leaving this house, and leaving this state, and my family (because it happens with my dad too), I get a lot of really crazy things happening to me, even worse than the other things I've mentioned, that force me to pay most of the money I have saved up to leave, so I must be stuck here. It is a constant cycle, and I don't even really speak to people about anything going on in my life at all anymore; my dreams, my goals, what is going good for me, or anything. Not to anyone or anything, and especially not online or in my house or anything, because something crazy starts happening every time, and it is ruined for me. It's also happened with relationships and jobs and just everything really. And then it comes back to "you have to make a choice" or "there's a cost for this and you have to start paying up" like literally what??
What cost is it I'm paying? What do I supposedly owe?
What choice am I supposed to be making, what does it have to do with and who or what is trying to make me choose, what exactly?
Why is this happening? Is the purpose to make me lose my faith in myself, my abilities, my beliefs and above all, my sanity?
This has been happening, for so many years I don't even know where to begin it or end it.
People also keep on telling me, "you need to come home," "I hope you remember me," "they found you again," "don't you ever just want to wake up?" I feel like constant illusions are being weaved around me, by so many different people and things. And so much is happening to me, and around me. That I just end up ignoring most of all of it, and I continue on my spiritual journey, because the moment I feed into any of it, or all of it, the worse it gets. If I even focus on any of these things, at all, it gives whoever is doing all of it, power to what they're doing, and then my life starts to fall apart again and weird crazy things happen to make me be stuck here. Or if anyone finds out how well my life is going, or how much money I'm making, or I'm in some type of relationship or friendship, it gets sabotaged severely. And then all of a sudden there isn't much work available to me at the job I'm at, the person I'm with does a total 180° on their personality and values, and starts saying all the weird things to me that other people around me do. And then someone or something else is trying to communicate with me again, and it starts all over again.
I don't leave my home anymore except for work, errands or the park.
I don't speak to my family about much of anything, because more than half the time their eyes are not their normal colors, and they're saying really strange things to me (not themselves at all.) and I absolutely do not speak to anyone or anything about anything in my life, especially with work or moving out or anything. Because it genuinely never ends or never stops, and gets a lot worse when I do. It is relentless. If anyone has any advice, or knowledge to share, or anything at all. I would appreciate it.
I've also had people tell me that I was their "sister" or sibling, of people I've never met before. The "I hope you remember me" thing has happened a lot.
Thanks for listening.
-PP
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