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The night was dark and full of the sound of pouring rain as the misshapen sweaty swamp creature, Virginwah Pits opened the magic book she brought at the local rare magic store hoping to win back your former boyfriend the Virginlent Christian from the darkside of Billy idolatry. As Virginwah sat spaztically twiching before her Jewsus lamp and opened the book a draft of power went thought the room. Nervously she read the opening incantation:
"In Nomie Dei Nostri Billyidoliswinus, in the name of the Swastika awesome open the gates of winz and greet me with a rebel yell I implore thee."
A powerful breeze went thought the room as the lamp shuddered and Virginwah felt slightly triggered. She turned the page of the book and saw a pentagram with Billy Idol in the center and the title of Billy Idolize Your Life The Book of Billy Idol Magic. With a shocked look of surprise on her misshapen mug she yelled "This is not Friendship Magic!" As she threw the book across the room.
As Virginwah sat praying before her lamp covered in booble verses which she believed Jebus lived inside: "Our farter who farthee in heaven hallowed be thy vegan bread...." Virginwah stopped as she heard the sound of something in her room behind her as she turned around she was surprised to find a Slothz going thought her CD collection throwing her Christard worship CD's over its shoulder. "Whooo are you?" Virginwah blasted out in amazement....."Dis is crapz where da Billy Idol music's!" The Slothz stated as he threw another Christard CD over his shoulder...….Not really paying attention to Virginwah.
"Hey what is this who are you?" Virginwah yelled waving her arms in the air as the pit stains ran large. The Slothz turned around and looked at her and stated: "Putz dem arms down the pits funk is strong, why you so suprized and stuffz you summons me, dis place is lame. Anywaz Iam Slothzbrah the Slothzdin." The Slothz stated as he looked at Virginwah.
"Ummmm I need help getting my boyfriend back can you help me?" Virginwah stated looking amazed at the talking Slothz in her room.
"What iz Love?" Slothzbrah stated
"Surez I can helps but you must followz my instructions and stuff." Slothzbrah stated.
"Ok then I guess I can its not anything out there even more then a talking Slothz?" Virginwah stated.
Slothzbrah pulled out three things from a back pack and placed them before Virginwah. A burger, A stick of deodorant and something wrapped up.
"First eats dis burgers den use this on your pits then we go from theres!" Slothzbrah stated.
As Virginwah was eating the burger she stated:" Wow Slothzbrah this Vegan burger it tastes like bacon!" As she munched down the burger she put the deodorant on. "Is this magic deodorant?" She asked.
"Noez but anything that tames dem pits might as well be magics!" Slothzbrah stated as he waved his paw in the air making a pheew gesture.
"Ok what now?" Virginwah stated as she finished with the deodorant.
"Lays on dat beds and I will ties your arms and legs to dems posts thenz the third parts will happens." Slothzbrah stated.
"Ummm ok" Virginwah stated as she laded on the bed.
"Thankz goodness for that deorodoorants!" Slothzbrah stated as he tied Virginwah's arms to the posts.
Slothzbrah then walked over to the third item in the bag as he pulled it out the room was filled with a glow it was the Billy Idol's most and eternal Swastika Awesome CD. He put it into the CD player and hit play as he climbed up up on a chair and pulled out an umbrella and hunkered down behind it.
As the Billy Idol music filled the air Virginwah started to scream and spaztically twitch as she yelled "turn it off TURN IT OFF ITS EVILLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOO YOUR THE DEVIL'S ANIMAL AHHHHHHH!!!" The room started to fill with strange lights and objects started flying everywhere as the bed started to levitate off the ground and Virginwah sat up and spewed Tofu vomit as her head turned in a 360 degree circle spraying the entire walls of the room with Vegan Tofu.
"I am glads I didn't get dis umbrellaz at Walmarts" Slothzbrah stated to himself as the tofu splashed against it as he was perfectly shielded from it such as it went in all directions as Virginwah's head just spun in a constant 360 degree circle.
Virginwah levitated several feet off her levitating bed her head stopped rotating as her voice grew supernatural sounding and high pitched and whiny as her face changed into that of a Shtetl goblin and the voice spoke loudly and whiney....." Oy Veh Slothzdin you really didn't think these human ropes would hold me did you......ahahhhhahhahaha!" It yelled as it tired to break the ropes after struggling hard over and over it stated in surprise "OY Hashit, I guess you did buy these at Walmart then!"
"I will defeat and destroy you Slothzdin and all Billy Idolatry! You will never defeat me I am the Holy Spirit, I am Jewsus itself the eternal Jew!....Why are you just hiding behind that anti-Semitic umbrella are yoooooou sacred Slothzdin!" Shouted the voice as the globin mug twitched.
"Noez Iam just waitingz for dats Bacon Burger to kicks in!" Stated Slothzbrah.
The voice shouted "BURGER I need a vegan body for my perfect host! Oy Vegan did you say Bacon? I am Jeeeeewish! That's not Kosher!....Noooo, it can't be oyyyyyyyyyy vehhhhh!" The Voice yelled as the Bacon fully kicked in.
Virginwah's body levitated and rocked widely in the air as even more object flew around the room and strange supernatural lights flashed.....The voice wailed as there was a loud farting sound and the holy spirit came flying out Virginwah's butthole in supernatural light show and into the lamp.
Just then the bed dropped to the ground and so did all the other objects flying around the room and everything in the room went normal.
Slothzbrah peeped out from behind his umbrella ready.
The lamp started to levitate into the air with an evil supernatural light emanating from it the lamp spun around with a wailing sound as the globin face appeared hooked nosed and all.
"You have failed the supernatural source of my power remains hidden with this room now I will punish you with Usury Slothzdin!"
"Yous means dis" Slothzbrah stated as he held up Virginwah's bible.
"Nooooo I told her to hide it well.....where did....you find that!" The lamp shrieked with joo rage.
"Itz was rights nexts to dat lamp and stuffz what dis you expects she got a vegan brain somethings smarts." Slothzbrah stated.
Then Slothzbrah grabbed the virginwah's bible to tear it up...…..
"Ahahahaha the voice yelled in spooky arrogance you will never succeed in that I infused it with my supernatural power its indestructible its not like she bought it at Walmart!"
"She dids!" stated Slothzbrah as he started tearing the pages out of it.
"Hashit Nooooooo!" The lamp yelled as the unholy spirit started to lose power.
After Slothzbrah destroyed the bible he jumped up from chair into the air and pulled out a glowing talisman the Lucifer and yelled "In das names of Billy idolz good bye Jeboo!" As the swastika Awesome talisman shot a beam of light that lit up the entire room in a Billyanence. The lamp was evaporated as the unholy spirit Jewsus disappeared from the room forever "Oyyyyyy Hassssshitttttt!" was all that was heard as it was vanquished by the power of the Swastika.
The room went back to normal and Slothzbrah untied the ropes on Virginwah and placed some things on her dresser before disappearing back to the Ainz Slothz the place where Jooz fear to go he was going to meet up with Roadbrazh and goes to the Hitler's ice cream parlor before it closed for the night.
Virginwah woke up in the morning and no longer looked like a misshapen swamp monster on meth but a normal person. She felt brand new like she had woken from a long trance she walked over to the dresser next to some other items and saw a note on it. She picked it up and read it:
"Dears Virginwahz theres is plenties of whalez, star fishs, dolphinz, mermaids and stuffz in da sea. So don'tz worries and stuffz abouts da other guy. Justs be coolz. I gots you this Swastika awesomes talismans wear it daily it keeps da unholy spirit aways and stuff and eats bacon regularies it keeps the unholy spirits of jebooz away. And listens to dis Billy Idolz music tooz."
As Virginwah put on the Swastika talisman while listening to the Billy Idol music she remember something her name is Goya Powers and she is not retarded. "Thank you Slothzdin!" She stated happily with a smile as she slicked her hair back with a rebel yell!
"In Nomie Dei Nostri Billyidoliswinus, in the name of the Swastika awesome open the gates of winz and greet me with a rebel yell I implore thee."
A powerful breeze went thought the room as the lamp shuddered and Virginwah felt slightly triggered. She turned the page of the book and saw a pentagram with Billy Idol in the center and the title of Billy Idolize Your Life The Book of Billy Idol Magic. With a shocked look of surprise on her misshapen mug she yelled "This is not Friendship Magic!" As she threw the book across the room.
As Virginwah sat praying before her lamp covered in booble verses which she believed Jebus lived inside: "Our farter who farthee in heaven hallowed be thy vegan bread...." Virginwah stopped as she heard the sound of something in her room behind her as she turned around she was surprised to find a Slothz going thought her CD collection throwing her Christard worship CD's over its shoulder. "Whooo are you?" Virginwah blasted out in amazement....."Dis is crapz where da Billy Idol music's!" The Slothz stated as he threw another Christard CD over his shoulder...….Not really paying attention to Virginwah.
"Hey what is this who are you?" Virginwah yelled waving her arms in the air as the pit stains ran large. The Slothz turned around and looked at her and stated: "Putz dem arms down the pits funk is strong, why you so suprized and stuffz you summons me, dis place is lame. Anywaz Iam Slothzbrah the Slothzdin." The Slothz stated as he looked at Virginwah.
"Ummmm I need help getting my boyfriend back can you help me?" Virginwah stated looking amazed at the talking Slothz in her room.
"What iz Love?" Slothzbrah stated
"Surez I can helps but you must followz my instructions and stuff." Slothzbrah stated.
"Ok then I guess I can its not anything out there even more then a talking Slothz?" Virginwah stated.
Slothzbrah pulled out three things from a back pack and placed them before Virginwah. A burger, A stick of deodorant and something wrapped up.
"First eats dis burgers den use this on your pits then we go from theres!" Slothzbrah stated.
As Virginwah was eating the burger she stated:" Wow Slothzbrah this Vegan burger it tastes like bacon!" As she munched down the burger she put the deodorant on. "Is this magic deodorant?" She asked.
"Noez but anything that tames dem pits might as well be magics!" Slothzbrah stated as he waved his paw in the air making a pheew gesture.
"Ok what now?" Virginwah stated as she finished with the deodorant.
"Lays on dat beds and I will ties your arms and legs to dems posts thenz the third parts will happens." Slothzbrah stated.
"Ummm ok" Virginwah stated as she laded on the bed.
"Thankz goodness for that deorodoorants!" Slothzbrah stated as he tied Virginwah's arms to the posts.
Slothzbrah then walked over to the third item in the bag as he pulled it out the room was filled with a glow it was the Billy Idol's most and eternal Swastika Awesome CD. He put it into the CD player and hit play as he climbed up up on a chair and pulled out an umbrella and hunkered down behind it.
As the Billy Idol music filled the air Virginwah started to scream and spaztically twitch as she yelled "turn it off TURN IT OFF ITS EVILLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOO YOUR THE DEVIL'S ANIMAL AHHHHHHH!!!" The room started to fill with strange lights and objects started flying everywhere as the bed started to levitate off the ground and Virginwah sat up and spewed Tofu vomit as her head turned in a 360 degree circle spraying the entire walls of the room with Vegan Tofu.
"I am glads I didn't get dis umbrellaz at Walmarts" Slothzbrah stated to himself as the tofu splashed against it as he was perfectly shielded from it such as it went in all directions as Virginwah's head just spun in a constant 360 degree circle.
Virginwah levitated several feet off her levitating bed her head stopped rotating as her voice grew supernatural sounding and high pitched and whiny as her face changed into that of a Shtetl goblin and the voice spoke loudly and whiney....." Oy Veh Slothzdin you really didn't think these human ropes would hold me did you......ahahhhhahhahaha!" It yelled as it tired to break the ropes after struggling hard over and over it stated in surprise "OY Hashit, I guess you did buy these at Walmart then!"
"I will defeat and destroy you Slothzdin and all Billy Idolatry! You will never defeat me I am the Holy Spirit, I am Jewsus itself the eternal Jew!....Why are you just hiding behind that anti-Semitic umbrella are yoooooou sacred Slothzdin!" Shouted the voice as the globin mug twitched.
"Noez Iam just waitingz for dats Bacon Burger to kicks in!" Stated Slothzbrah.
The voice shouted "BURGER I need a vegan body for my perfect host! Oy Vegan did you say Bacon? I am Jeeeeewish! That's not Kosher!....Noooo, it can't be oyyyyyyyyyy vehhhhh!" The Voice yelled as the Bacon fully kicked in.
Virginwah's body levitated and rocked widely in the air as even more object flew around the room and strange supernatural lights flashed.....The voice wailed as there was a loud farting sound and the holy spirit came flying out Virginwah's butthole in supernatural light show and into the lamp.
Just then the bed dropped to the ground and so did all the other objects flying around the room and everything in the room went normal.
Slothzbrah peeped out from behind his umbrella ready.
The lamp started to levitate into the air with an evil supernatural light emanating from it the lamp spun around with a wailing sound as the globin face appeared hooked nosed and all.
"You have failed the supernatural source of my power remains hidden with this room now I will punish you with Usury Slothzdin!"
"Yous means dis" Slothzbrah stated as he held up Virginwah's bible.
"Nooooo I told her to hide it well.....where did....you find that!" The lamp shrieked with joo rage.
"Itz was rights nexts to dat lamp and stuffz what dis you expects she got a vegan brain somethings smarts." Slothzbrah stated.
Then Slothzbrah grabbed the virginwah's bible to tear it up...…..
"Ahahahaha the voice yelled in spooky arrogance you will never succeed in that I infused it with my supernatural power its indestructible its not like she bought it at Walmart!"
"She dids!" stated Slothzbrah as he started tearing the pages out of it.
"Hashit Nooooooo!" The lamp yelled as the unholy spirit started to lose power.
After Slothzbrah destroyed the bible he jumped up from chair into the air and pulled out a glowing talisman the Lucifer and yelled "In das names of Billy idolz good bye Jeboo!" As the swastika Awesome talisman shot a beam of light that lit up the entire room in a Billyanence. The lamp was evaporated as the unholy spirit Jewsus disappeared from the room forever "Oyyyyyy Hassssshitttttt!" was all that was heard as it was vanquished by the power of the Swastika.
The room went back to normal and Slothzbrah untied the ropes on Virginwah and placed some things on her dresser before disappearing back to the Ainz Slothz the place where Jooz fear to go he was going to meet up with Roadbrazh and goes to the Hitler's ice cream parlor before it closed for the night.
Virginwah woke up in the morning and no longer looked like a misshapen swamp monster on meth but a normal person. She felt brand new like she had woken from a long trance she walked over to the dresser next to some other items and saw a note on it. She picked it up and read it:
"Dears Virginwahz theres is plenties of whalez, star fishs, dolphinz, mermaids and stuffz in da sea. So don'tz worries and stuffz abouts da other guy. Justs be coolz. I gots you this Swastika awesomes talismans wear it daily it keeps da unholy spirit aways and stuff and eats bacon regularies it keeps the unholy spirits of jebooz away. And listens to dis Billy Idolz music tooz."
As Virginwah put on the Swastika talisman while listening to the Billy Idol music she remember something her name is Goya Powers and she is not retarded. "Thank you Slothzdin!" She stated happily with a smile as she slicked her hair back with a rebel yell!
