Question regarding path and community

[deathRaider19]

So basically I've know Satan as my father for two years. I have passively seeked his guidance and have learned many things and have had surprising success with magical workings. This is without much occult knowledge, maybe I'm just lucky and hope this doesn't sound like bragging but my magical workings work specifically to how I've done them through the chorus and mirrors. Kind of like I just breath into it my negative emotions and my worst times Ive felt better immediately and then crazy stuff I didn't know would actually work, have worked. Almost like too good to be true? Because I have next to no occult knowledge other than the general basics and what my brother has told me before he ghosted my family and me six years ago cause most of my family is Christian and he understandably doesn't involve himself with that evil. But I want to get into it. I feel like most of my life I've never really paid attention to anything and I want to be obsessed again but longer, not in an unhealthy way, I just want passion. And I know once I get into something it will be easier but I don't know where to start. I've basically only done chaos magic and just paid respect to my Father Satan, as I choose to see him. Please be patient, but I feel like it's too late (I'm 21) even though that's obviously not true. I just need guidance on where to start diving into something, like "knowledge" even if it's not useful yet cause I'm not knowing, like an obsession, but also have a practice that prevents me from doubting myself and my ego kicking in and I just judge any knowledge that isn't in my head bc I think it's so simple, or maybe start thinking it's useless even though I know that's not true it's just been so long since I've engaged in learning like that. My life hasn't really been typical with the different people and institutions that have raised me, and then I started doing drugs at 18 and just now have been sober for past year. But even without the drugs, people have always known me as weird or a little bit insane and I believe that's cause I have dwelled on many dark rabbit holes and have engaged in certain practices that leeks through into my personality cause I didn't learn about self preservation till I became homeless, and even then it didn't fully kick in till after being in sober living programs for a while before I moved out.

It's a lot but I just need someone to help me figure out things who is an experienced leader of themselves and who also follow Satan in this world that's a sea of people who are ignorant, or just not spiritual, or spiritually slaves. The only person I have knew who was a true Satanists according more to this site than peoples false version of Satan, was my brother and I don't know how to find him and it was only a brief period that I found out he was a Satanist when I already was too and we found out at the same time and we both didn't know that about each other. That's sounds so corny blah but yeah. Again cause we were separated before that cause of CPS came to our house cause violence drugs in household and I was living with my grandparents which was the worst five years of my life, but that's another story.

I just need someone to talk to bc I'm ready to start actually diving in this stuff, as I'm finally more balanced with my job and stuff but I need to actually get somewhere with this bc the intrusive thoughts and negative emotions are hard to stave away when I'm not engaging in anything. Learning is more fun when you have some sort of community to share and discuss what you have learned. I don't know anyone who I can do that with where I live. Or just advice on how to start doing that or on whatever I said.

Thank you!

 

[Henu the Great]

So basically I've know Satan as my father for two years. I have passively seeked his guidance and have learned many things and have had surprising success with magical workings. This is without much occult knowledge, maybe I'm just lucky and hope this doesn't sound like bragging but my magical workings work specifically to how I've done them through the chorus and mirrors. Kind of like I just breath into it my negative emotions and my worst times Ive felt better immediately and then crazy stuff I didn't know would actually work, have worked. Almost like too good to be true? Because I have next to no occult knowledge other than the general basics and what my brother has told me before he ghosted my family and me six years ago cause most of my family is Christian and he understandably doesn't involve himself with that evil. But I want to get into it. I feel like most of my life I've never really paid attention to anything and I want to be obsessed again but longer, not in an unhealthy way, I just want passion. And I know once I get into something it will be easier but I don't know where to start. I've basically only done chaos magic and just paid respect to my Father Satan, as I choose to see him. Please be patient, but I feel like it's too late (I'm 21) even though that's obviously not true. I just need guidance on where to start diving into something, like "knowledge" even if it's not useful yet cause I'm not knowing, like an obsession, but also have a practice that prevents me from doubting myself and my ego kicking in and I just judge any knowledge that isn't in my head bc I think it's so simple, or maybe start thinking it's useless even though I know that's not true it's just been so long since I've engaged in learning like that. My life hasn't really been typical with the different people and institutions that have raised me, and then I started doing drugs at 18 and just now have been sober for past year. But even without the drugs, people have always known me as weird or a little bit insane and I believe that's cause I have dwelled on many dark rabbit holes and have engaged in certain practices that leeks through into my personality cause I didn't learn about self preservation till I became homeless, and even then it didn't fully kick in till after being in sober living programs for a while before I moved out.

It's a lot but I just need someone to help me figure out things who is an experienced leader of themselves and who also follow Satan in this world that's a sea of people who are ignorant, or just not spiritual, or spiritually slaves. The only person I have knew who was a true Satanists according more to this site than peoples false version of Satan, was my brother and I don't know how to find him and it was only a brief period that I found out he was a Satanist when I already was too and we found out at the same time and we both didn't know that about each other. That's sounds so corny blah but yeah. Again cause we were separated before that cause of CPS came to our house cause violence drugs in household and I was living with my grandparents which was the worst five years of my life, but that's another story.

I just need someone to talk to bc I'm ready to start actually diving in this stuff, as I'm finally more balanced with my job and stuff but I need to actually get somewhere with this bc the intrusive thoughts and negative emotions are hard to stave away when I'm not engaging in anything. Learning is more fun when you have some sort of community to share and discuss what you have learned. I don't know anyone who I can do that with where I live. Or just advice on how to start doing that or on whatever I said.

Thank you!

You can start with the following resources. Be patient and take your time as the content is massive, but the initial (bolded) steps should not contain too much information- perhaps a day or two of intese reading.

Temple of Zeus

Meditation Information

Witchcraft

Satan's Library

Here is a basic ready-made meditation program to get started: https://satanslibrary.org/hp_hooded_cobra_40_day_meditation_program.pdf

A more specific training program for a longer period. https://templeofzeus.org/army/Spiritual_Warfare_Training These two are inclusive and add to each other.

These should get you stared.