This question confused me a bit but from what I understand you're asking what it was like to grow up catholic and then become satanist?
Well this was the case for me. My parents raised me catholic and we used to go to church almost every Sunday, not only that but I was forced to go to chatechism (similar to Sunday school) every week until I was in 7th grade. It was never spiritual for me. I have always been spiritual. I listened to what they thought in the class. "Why would god praise someone for killing another?' I thought. I never beleived in it. I also remember being a very young child and being scared to take baths or getting changed because I thought God always watching, like they repeatedly said in church. I thought it was gross that God would be watching me all the time, doing things I wanted privacy in doing.
My catholic upbringing led me to become athiest for a year or so toward the end of middle school, and then became agnostic for a while and took up an interest in spiritual things, opening up to the ideas of buddhism and hinduism, greek and egyptian mythology and so on. I became Wiccan around 18 years of age but still I didn't have any god or goddess I felt was right, and nothing was set in stone to me, nothing made complete sense, still I felt no strong spiritual connection with the gods, until I came to Satan.
Ultimately my spiritual path had led me here to Satan. Everything is clear. Everything in my life is beautiful. I've always been a Spiritual person and I can say I now feel like I have a place, a place that feels like home. I'm experiencing powerful and mind blowing spiritual and conciousness expanding experiences almost daily. This is what I've always desired. This is what Father Satan has shown me an I am forever greatful finally be here.