AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
However it may sound this is very important to me because my love life and self esteem struggle with it, and it's fundamental for women, especially SS, which strive for success in everything.
I am a girl but I don't look like a regular female. Something makes me look masculine and I can't identify it since traits I have separately considered are present in other girls too. And even if they don't look perfect, you would know they're female at a glance. But you couldn't say that about me without thinking twice, and it bothers me, especially because I don't know why. It made other people notice, and objectively so, to the point I have even got mistaken for a male several times and heard unpleasant comments from other girls.
My physical traits like eyelashes and hair colour aren't ugly. Even more beautiful than others'. Yet I seem something in between, not like a girl, but distinct from a boy, which is a great source of ugliness.
Inside, I am very feminine and it pains me not to reflect on the first thing that others notice about me, meaning my body. Everything I say, show or do gets another reaction and nuance due to seeming masculine. It is assumed I am masculine, but it's wrong.
I have analized my physical features many times and can't find what makes for this appearance. I've tried make up, wearing more feminine clothes and jewelry, but neither looks good on me, and it doesn't fit me, and this led me to think that not the lack of these causes this masculinity but my face.
My body is standard to fit looking, no broad shoulders or sharp jawline which would be a reason for this.
Yet I find myself looking masculine, and often, the ugliest person in the room. I don't know where this is coming from since when I was a child and early teen I was very attractive (for that age)
Since there's no way of answering what makes me ugly without seeing me, I'm asking you what makes a female's face beautiful, what makes a person pass as female if you can only see their face.
Because of this I've also been acting more masculine because acting feminine would not match my appearance and would look odd, and I feel I don't deserve to be attractive which I know is wrong. Ugliness has understandably shakened my courage and self esteem, which hampered my social life. I've been more subservient to other people and played the caring role for them or did their dirty jobs in order to make myself liked (because otherwise I cannot be, due to lacking social skills which is due to this shame of being like this) My personality also doesn't help me get loved as I mostly am afraid to express it (due to my looks and low confidence and how some otherwise acceptable traits would look on the physical me)
Do you think a Venus working would help to feminize my face, or become aware of what makes me feminine?
Has any of you gone through this? As no one around me struggles with this (most females I see everyday are either moderately beautiful or take care of themselves in a way that flatters them indeed) and I'm apparently in an ugly duckling phase, I sort of got to think something was inherently wrong with me from the beginning, inevitably causing me to be like this, without solution. Especially since no one I've ever known went through this (visibly)
I am a girl but I don't look like a regular female. Something makes me look masculine and I can't identify it since traits I have separately considered are present in other girls too. And even if they don't look perfect, you would know they're female at a glance. But you couldn't say that about me without thinking twice, and it bothers me, especially because I don't know why. It made other people notice, and objectively so, to the point I have even got mistaken for a male several times and heard unpleasant comments from other girls.
My physical traits like eyelashes and hair colour aren't ugly. Even more beautiful than others'. Yet I seem something in between, not like a girl, but distinct from a boy, which is a great source of ugliness.
Inside, I am very feminine and it pains me not to reflect on the first thing that others notice about me, meaning my body. Everything I say, show or do gets another reaction and nuance due to seeming masculine. It is assumed I am masculine, but it's wrong.
I have analized my physical features many times and can't find what makes for this appearance. I've tried make up, wearing more feminine clothes and jewelry, but neither looks good on me, and it doesn't fit me, and this led me to think that not the lack of these causes this masculinity but my face.
My body is standard to fit looking, no broad shoulders or sharp jawline which would be a reason for this.
Yet I find myself looking masculine, and often, the ugliest person in the room. I don't know where this is coming from since when I was a child and early teen I was very attractive (for that age)
Since there's no way of answering what makes me ugly without seeing me, I'm asking you what makes a female's face beautiful, what makes a person pass as female if you can only see their face.
Because of this I've also been acting more masculine because acting feminine would not match my appearance and would look odd, and I feel I don't deserve to be attractive which I know is wrong. Ugliness has understandably shakened my courage and self esteem, which hampered my social life. I've been more subservient to other people and played the caring role for them or did their dirty jobs in order to make myself liked (because otherwise I cannot be, due to lacking social skills which is due to this shame of being like this) My personality also doesn't help me get loved as I mostly am afraid to express it (due to my looks and low confidence and how some otherwise acceptable traits would look on the physical me)
Do you think a Venus working would help to feminize my face, or become aware of what makes me feminine?
Has any of you gone through this? As no one around me struggles with this (most females I see everyday are either moderately beautiful or take care of themselves in a way that flatters them indeed) and I'm apparently in an ugly duckling phase, I sort of got to think something was inherently wrong with me from the beginning, inevitably causing me to be like this, without solution. Especially since no one I've ever known went through this (visibly)