Question #5130: Motherly wounds and hatred

[AskSatanOperator]

I hate my mother, I can't control it and it makes me feel ashamed. I was emotionally neglected by my mother and I deeply resent her from that, to the point that is not reasonable. I feel intense hatred towards her, and it's very hard for me to keep my cool when anyone touches the subject.

My attempts at remaining objective don't seem to work, remembering that she provided me material security and higher education can't hold a candle to the resentment.

This gets worse from the fack that I lack any support to vent this issue: my country is a matriarchal society, saying that you don't love your mother gets you inmediatly tagged as a monster just below a murderer.

What could be helpful to process these emotions and start healing? Would Berkano or Wunjo be appropiate?

As extra information, my natal moon is in a unfavorable sign, and badly aspected by some outer planets.

 

[Epiphany]

No parent is perfect. She is a person like anybody else and she may have issues from her past that keep her from being emotionally available. She may also, due to her natal chart, not be the warm and fuzzy type.

That doesn't mean she didn't care for you. She invested in your safety/security and gave you an education. That is proof that she did care. Some people can't express affection verbally or emotionally so they do it in other ways and it sounds like that's what she did.

You will grieve the unmet emotional needs and it's normal to be angry about them. But is it really something to hate her for? Did she intentionally "neglect" you, when she provided you other forms of care in place of what she couldn't offer? Think about it.

As you get older and wiser, these feelings will subside. Just don't say or do anything that you will regret when she's gone, because remember, she will not live forever.

 

[FeetSmeller69]

I can relate a lot to what you're saying, I could've written this post replacing the word "mother" for "father", almost seeing myself in you. While I am still in the process of dealing with it as well, I have not tried any ritual or runes to fix it, nor do I intend to any time soon. If it helps, I have found that everytime that hatred resurfaces, I feel this need to prove to myself that I am better, and that I don't need to give that person another moment of thought or attention, which can help me be pretty productive, so maybe you can channel that into work. If what you want is to heal, I don't have a solution to that, I sincerely hope someone here can answer, it would help me too.

Another note, I don't think you should feel like providing material security is enough. Any reasonable person would not start a family without at least financial stability. If I were a parent, I would expect to provide that for my children without expecting a return on investment in the form of money or whatever. However, being a parent is more than just money, everyone can work whatever and provide it, but being able to raise a child properly, with the necessary values and boundaries and emotional development they need to succeed is 70% of the work. There have been wonderful people born in warzones and terrible people born to a silk bed and PS5. Even morons are allowed to have children after all, it's not your fault in any way, you don't really choose your parents.