AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
Father: I have a confession. I've been a little out of hand on here
And it seems to me that I'm causing some problems! And it is not good! And I don't like looking bad! Everyone on here seems to think I'm a threat! And assumes that I am a monster and a troll of some kind! I don't like that! So what can I do? You know I'm a good girl! And you know that I have always been a good girl! Maybe I had a rough and tumble childhood and maybe it wasn't the most perfect well-behaved little girl in class! Yes I was loud yes I was bold wild and crazy and vibrant! And yes I was very defiant rude and mouthy with those above me! I am somebody that doesn't like to be bossed around and told what to do. And I have often been hated and despised and look down up on as a bad person! Simply either because of upbringing? Being brought up in a Christian family? Or the way people treated each other at home and how I picked up on the bad traits? Plus dealing with school and the criteria of trying to fit in with susceptible behavior and what isn't? I just want the truth! And I just want to be on my best behavior and be a lady on here! And no my boundaries and say please and thank you and be proper and polite! Without making myself look like a troll or a monster or a threat of some kind! Because I really really don't mean to be a problem to people! Unless people want me to be? Because I'm not afraid of speaking up and I'm not afraid of doing things to protect myself! And I'm not afraid of people and I'm not afraid of a good fight or a good battle! If there's a good reason for it. Especially! And when people come after me usually it's not in a good way and if it is in a good way? You know you've got friends and you know you've got an army and a good backup? In case you do get into trouble right? Speaking to you and my human ways telling you about my human problems. And letting people know that I'm not a humanoid or some flake or some dumbass! Every time I get on here! I can't help myself every time I look at the threads and read! I am a sucker for a books and I love to read! Read anything you stick it under my nose and I will read it! I've always been an Avid Reader since the time my mom taught me how to read at the age of three! And I sort of figured it out on my own listening to other people read to me is a little kid at night! Or whenever even throughout the day I think I would even have a babysitter read to me if I happen to have one over! And in church I was an avid reader! And I was pretty well behaved and church as well as a Christian child growing up! So I know what discipline is and I know what good behavior is! I am sorry I've been such a rich! And I am sorry I've been such a brat! But when people treat me like I don't belong it makes me angry! One should be able to walk and do any grocery store and buy food without putting up a fight right!? You should be able to walk into any restaurant and sit down and place an order of whatever you want? Without putting up a fuss! Just like you should be able to log into Facebook and sit down and scroll and look at all the content that is on timeline or news feed? With that dealing with the unexpected and the bullshit from other people! Will this the same thing with here? It seems to me that everybody is so comfortable and fits in perfectly! I don't get it? Maybe all the threads that they put out there are for all the different tears and all the different classes! And since there's people that pay good money and donate! I can see why they're allowed to read those threads and because I'm new on here will not really new I've been on here on and off for many years! And I couldn't help but read the content and that was what motivated me! And on the last format I was allowed to read whatever was posted and shared by the clergy or somebody who wanted to give a sermon or a talk on something! And then I would comment or do a post related to that! And sometimes I would go off track and talk about other things. And nobody wants to hear each other's shit but then again that is what I seem to hear and watch people discuss every time I get on here? Question is it because I'm not a tear member? And other people can sit and read the content and I can't? It really aggravates me because when I see these threads and what is written on them I can't help it! It's kind of like reading the tabloids and wanting to go buy that magazine! It's like turning on the TV to hear the latest news about the paparazzi and the Hollywood celebrities it makes me tingle with excitement to hear about what is going on and what is new! And what this individual on the Jos is sharing! And it doesn't matter who the person is or what the conversation topic is all about? And needless to say every time I grab one of those to get on I see all kinds of people having a conversation just like it was a tea party! And I want to join so bad and sit down and talk and intervene! And I can't help it but then again I don't want to be listed as a troll and a threat in doing so! So what do I do? To get the education that I want and need my hands are literally aching to pick up a book and read! My mind is literally hungry for knowledge and food! And when I was on the streets and being on drugs I missed out on so many things! Five years of being on dope and two and a half years struggling to get my mind back in order and a whole year of rediscipline and disappointing myself and making myself into a better person so I can get a job and get myself going! So hungry to read and I'm not kidding you I buy books books books all the time and I can't help it! And I had good grades and straight A's all through school! I wish somebody that sat down and read and studied a lot! Because why? I didn't have a lot of friends I was hated and despise! And I couldn't get along with my own family even! Due to the fact that I was brought up in a Mormon family complete with stiff Mormon rules and discipline! I was not allowed to intervene unless I was asked to come in and join a conversation and I couldn't talk about my feelings and the things that I wanted to learn! And what I got analytical and wanted to share something I was told to shut up and told to behave myself and go to my room! And think about what I'm doing wrong? When I'm doing something right! All I wanted to do was be a good girl all my life and to be a lady! So that I won't upset anybody on the job site or in my own neighborhood! And I just want so much to be accepted on here and to be treated like everyone else! I keep asking for rules and nobody gives me rules! And everybody on here acts so disciplined? So I know there's a list of rules somewhere! For those that are new and those that have been on here for a while especially for those that get a little carried away and forget what they're doing and why they're on here! And I've been on here on and off for many years and I didn't realize that my behavior was going to be such a problem! Since I'm used to being myself and doing what I do at home in my own life! And being on Facebook was not cool because I picked up a lot of bad habits! That is probably reason right there? Why I'm getting The Unwanted attention and the unexpected behavior of other people that are just as ruthless as those that I had to put up with on facebook! When I just want so much to get on here and read and study and learn and learn and learn and get caught up on things that I've missed out on! As you can see I am a Christian girl and I was brought up christian! And I denounced Christ about 6 years ago and that was when I was on the road of recovery! Getting off the drugs and declaring myself as a recovering drug addict! I needed your help at the time father Satan and I was looking for a group on facebook! And kept running into trouble and more trouble! I remember somebody from the rehab center that I was in telling me about the joy of Satan and telling me that I would fit in perfectly! Because of the way I look at things and the way I feel things should be! So you can tell that I would have fit on here perfectly maybe at the time because I was so vulnerable and stupid! But all I wanted was the truth and I wanted to know who you were and I wanted to study about you but there was no place that I could go to get the truth and to get the answers that I wanted and needed! So when I listen to the audio recordings of HPS Maxine Dietrich I was motivated! And got a hold of the website! And finally found it! And as you can see and as you can tell I was reading through it and looking through it on and off and didn't know what to do or say? I didn't want to get into trouble or get kicked off so I was very careful! I think I had more fun just reading and watching the stuff that people were posting! Until I've logged on! And created my own account so that I can intervene! And be like everyone else and to be seen and noticed! People were posting all kinds of shit pictures and memes and everything and I thought that it looked fun and it reminded me of school! And I know these people are older and I know that they're all different ages! They've been on here for a while so they're pretty advanced in many areas! And compared the things that I learned and knew of growing up which was probably laced with Christianity and Marxism as it is anyway so obviously I had to learn and start over again and retrace! And the more I got into studying the website the more I got into it and the more I wanted to learn! It was like coming home and crawling into my own bed home away from home! I found it very comfortable and very intriguing! And I couldn't get enough my hands and my arms were just trembling to pick up my tablet and read! My mind just buzzing with new ideas and new information! I absorb things like a sponge and I can't get enough! I am always so thirsty for more and I have got an extensive Library here at home! I'm always spending a shitload of money on books! I don't go to the movie theater anymore! They don't make movies the way they used to! Not to mention the fact the movies that people watch is loaded with a bunch of Jewish subliminal messages and I have got enough crap in my mind as it is to deal with! With the life experiences that I went through as a child growing up and being around the wrong people and going to the wrong places and getting all kinds of mixed messages and shit that is not fitting to be on the joy of satan! I have been a lot of help with people but then again I don't want to be in the way either! I have been around all kinds of crazy people which probably explains why I picked up a lot of my stupid shit and probably why I have the problems that I have! And it wreaks Havoc every time I get on here! I wish that I could just get some help for once and for all! And if I want the rules and ask for them I should be able to get the rules! When I want them and need them so I can sit down and read them and properly present myself to the joy of Satan and be like everyone else and show people on here that I'm just like everyone else as well and that I want to intervene and make my own threads and start conversations and be a part of it all just like the next person! Instead of being on here to be a threat to others feeling like a pesky fly and getting in the way and being told not to do this and do that when other people can? Sometimes I kind of wonder if the biggest percent of these people on here are just bigots? The light to be controlling and thrill their power all over the place and sometimes I kind of Wonder people on here are just being bossy hypocrites! Here they do whatever they want to and I'm not allowed to? I guess maybe this person is a paying customer! And that means they're cordially welcome to come and go as they please and help themselves to the food on the shelf and do whatever they want! Walk over to the snag table and get a donut out of the box if you know what I mean read the content and the threads to their hearts contend because they are cordially welcome and that they are a board member! Well how the hell do I get that far? In order to get that kind of treatment? Because I do want to fit in and I want to be able to get my hand and that donut box and sit down and eat a yummy donut and enjoy a hot cup of coffee and have something to read when I pull out a thread and to know that I am welcome and wanted and encouraged to get on and read! Without being treated like a white nigger! I don't appreciate that! I appreciate it when people are kind to me and it's nice to know that when you're allowed to do something? And when you feel welcome and wanted and appreciated it is everything! And to know that you can sit down at that table and help yourself to the smorgasbord of threads and books it is like sitting down to a plate of food! Food for thought! Mentally and spiritually! I would put it in a better proper wording! Where do I go to get my education? And is there anything I'm allowed to read on here? Without getting my hand slap? And is there a way I can communicate with somebody on here and get a hold of a personal Guru on here? Somebody who knows about all of those threads and what is being talked about? So that I can fit in a little more and get updated on things? Because honestly ever since I've been on here this new form format or whatever you call it? I've literally been treated like my skin is black! I sort of feel like a stray dog! And so to speak and I'm not even Jewish I wasn't even brought up jewish! And I know how those pathetic people were treated! But then again you look at them and the way they act and behave! You can see why! Laugh out loud I am not one of those people! And you know that! But I did pick up a lot of bad habits from being on the street and being on drugs! And I picked up a lot of strange things as a little kid growing up hanging with various children in the neighborhood and going to school! Dealing with the obnoxious neighbors and my folks at home I've picked up a lot of nasty habits! So I guess you can say I'm a bit of a wild child on here without a clue to what I'm doing where to go and how to get there without getting my hand slapped or getting yelled at when I am looking for something to read! As you can tell I spent many hours in the library as a teenager! Just to avoid drama! And to keep myself from getting beat up by other kids and to keep myself from getting into a fight or ending up in the principal's office! All I wanted to do was be a good kid and I just want people to know that I was a good kid growing up! Even if I did do stupid things and make poor decisions and make mistakes! I was still a good kid and I've always been a good kid! I just want you to know that and you know me pretty well father Satan.. I wish there was a way that I could fit in! I wish there was something that I can do on here! Because I want to fit in! And I am willing to pay everything and anything just to be like everybody else and fit in! All my life has been that way trying to fit in and trying to find friends and trying to find a place where I feel wanted and accepted where I can sit down and learn anything of my desire! Into my heart's content! And to have friends that I can sit down and talk to on anything on any level! Without any form of punishment or persecution! And without having to say please and thank you I can go help myself to the snack table and load my plate if you know what I mean pick out a good book to read and make a selection and enjoy the pleasure of sitting down and reading and sipping my coffee! It's just like walking in just a store and shopping seeing all the beautiful clothes and all the colors that you can think of all the pretty shoes hats and gloves you can't help but pull out your wallet Instagram things and spending money! And mind you yes I would overspend and spend money that I didn't have to stick it things that I wanted just so that I can look like that so called rich girl in school or one of those that have money or have a job! I wanted to fit in and I wanted the clothes I wanted the attention I wanted the friends I wanted the social life and the money! And it's the same thing with being on this website I see all the colorful lettering the pictures and the memes that people post all over having delightful conversations Heart to Heart intellectual conversations men and women intervening how the hell do I fit into that? And what do I do how much money do you want me to pay? Because I'm willing to dish out as much as I want and as much as I can! Just to be able to fit into these social societies on here! How do I do that? How do I get a hold of some good reading material? Who do I go to for help and what do I do? I want to fit in so bad! It hurts I've always wanted to have good friends and I've always wanted to have plenty to read! I Can't Get Enough education and I am so hungry and thirsty for it all the time! And I'm not going to sit down and just read a bunch of shit either I want something that makes sense and I want something that has common sense with value and a promising Future something that you can use and share with others! Like everybody else does on here! Something to be proud of and a friend that I can look up on and be proud of someone that I can talk to and hang out with! Without dealing with the bunch of troublemakers and their childish jokes! What do I do? Is there a way you can help me? Is there anything I can do? To make myself better and to make things more pleasant? What can I do to fit in? And what can I do to let people know on here that I'm a good girl and that I'm a good student? I want to learn about you and so much about you that it never ends! Once I discovered you and your path I couldn't stop and I don't ever want to stop! I just want to keep going and going and going! And I want you on my side and I want you to be proud of me and I want to be proud of myself as well and I want you to know how much I love you and adore you and appreciate you! You are my God and I am lucky to have somebody like you to look up on! And to come to for help if needed and when it's necessary to call up on your gods and your demons to help me? Especially if I can't get the help or the book or the education that I want? At least I have you! And I have you to thank for finding this website! And helping me get here! And now what do I do to fit in? And how can I be like everyone else? And to be able to have the fun that other people have? Talking and sharing things and getting along with others? What do I do to get that? What do I do to get there? I will pay anything and I will do anything you want me to! I don't want to be an embarrassment and I don't want to be a threat to others laugh out loud that was the last thing I wanted and that is something that I don't need or be a part of when it comes down to being bad or being called a monster! It is not a good place to be and I will do anything to get rid of these bad habits because I am not a bad person! And I want people on this website to know that I'm a good person and how much? I will prove it! And I want people to know that I am just too smart as anybody else on here? Especially if I'm allowed to read books and study and how far I can go and how much I can learn and the things that we can talk about discuss and explain on all levels? I wasn't just some Class Clown most of the time I was a good Avid Reader I did my homework and I did it properly and I turned it in the next day my handwriting wasn't impeccable my grammar was exceptional! And I was a good student even if I was a brat at times and had good reasons! I was still a good kid! And I'm a good kid still to this very day I'm a good girl I'm a 52-year-old woman now and I want people to know that I can behave like a lady and be a woman when it comes down to it because I am an adult I am a hero and I am a warrior especially with what I've been through as it is! At least I own that title and should being a satanic soldier! And a spiritual Satanist! So tell me the rules? How am I supposed to behave? And what am I supposed to do?
And it seems to me that I'm causing some problems! And it is not good! And I don't like looking bad! Everyone on here seems to think I'm a threat! And assumes that I am a monster and a troll of some kind! I don't like that! So what can I do? You know I'm a good girl! And you know that I have always been a good girl! Maybe I had a rough and tumble childhood and maybe it wasn't the most perfect well-behaved little girl in class! Yes I was loud yes I was bold wild and crazy and vibrant! And yes I was very defiant rude and mouthy with those above me! I am somebody that doesn't like to be bossed around and told what to do. And I have often been hated and despised and look down up on as a bad person! Simply either because of upbringing? Being brought up in a Christian family? Or the way people treated each other at home and how I picked up on the bad traits? Plus dealing with school and the criteria of trying to fit in with susceptible behavior and what isn't? I just want the truth! And I just want to be on my best behavior and be a lady on here! And no my boundaries and say please and thank you and be proper and polite! Without making myself look like a troll or a monster or a threat of some kind! Because I really really don't mean to be a problem to people! Unless people want me to be? Because I'm not afraid of speaking up and I'm not afraid of doing things to protect myself! And I'm not afraid of people and I'm not afraid of a good fight or a good battle! If there's a good reason for it. Especially! And when people come after me usually it's not in a good way and if it is in a good way? You know you've got friends and you know you've got an army and a good backup? In case you do get into trouble right? Speaking to you and my human ways telling you about my human problems. And letting people know that I'm not a humanoid or some flake or some dumbass! Every time I get on here! I can't help myself every time I look at the threads and read! I am a sucker for a books and I love to read! Read anything you stick it under my nose and I will read it! I've always been an Avid Reader since the time my mom taught me how to read at the age of three! And I sort of figured it out on my own listening to other people read to me is a little kid at night! Or whenever even throughout the day I think I would even have a babysitter read to me if I happen to have one over! And in church I was an avid reader! And I was pretty well behaved and church as well as a Christian child growing up! So I know what discipline is and I know what good behavior is! I am sorry I've been such a rich! And I am sorry I've been such a brat! But when people treat me like I don't belong it makes me angry! One should be able to walk and do any grocery store and buy food without putting up a fight right!? You should be able to walk into any restaurant and sit down and place an order of whatever you want? Without putting up a fuss! Just like you should be able to log into Facebook and sit down and scroll and look at all the content that is on timeline or news feed? With that dealing with the unexpected and the bullshit from other people! Will this the same thing with here? It seems to me that everybody is so comfortable and fits in perfectly! I don't get it? Maybe all the threads that they put out there are for all the different tears and all the different classes! And since there's people that pay good money and donate! I can see why they're allowed to read those threads and because I'm new on here will not really new I've been on here on and off for many years! And I couldn't help but read the content and that was what motivated me! And on the last format I was allowed to read whatever was posted and shared by the clergy or somebody who wanted to give a sermon or a talk on something! And then I would comment or do a post related to that! And sometimes I would go off track and talk about other things. And nobody wants to hear each other's shit but then again that is what I seem to hear and watch people discuss every time I get on here? Question is it because I'm not a tear member? And other people can sit and read the content and I can't? It really aggravates me because when I see these threads and what is written on them I can't help it! It's kind of like reading the tabloids and wanting to go buy that magazine! It's like turning on the TV to hear the latest news about the paparazzi and the Hollywood celebrities it makes me tingle with excitement to hear about what is going on and what is new! And what this individual on the Jos is sharing! And it doesn't matter who the person is or what the conversation topic is all about? And needless to say every time I grab one of those to get on I see all kinds of people having a conversation just like it was a tea party! And I want to join so bad and sit down and talk and intervene! And I can't help it but then again I don't want to be listed as a troll and a threat in doing so! So what do I do? To get the education that I want and need my hands are literally aching to pick up a book and read! My mind is literally hungry for knowledge and food! And when I was on the streets and being on drugs I missed out on so many things! Five years of being on dope and two and a half years struggling to get my mind back in order and a whole year of rediscipline and disappointing myself and making myself into a better person so I can get a job and get myself going! So hungry to read and I'm not kidding you I buy books books books all the time and I can't help it! And I had good grades and straight A's all through school! I wish somebody that sat down and read and studied a lot! Because why? I didn't have a lot of friends I was hated and despise! And I couldn't get along with my own family even! Due to the fact that I was brought up in a Mormon family complete with stiff Mormon rules and discipline! I was not allowed to intervene unless I was asked to come in and join a conversation and I couldn't talk about my feelings and the things that I wanted to learn! And what I got analytical and wanted to share something I was told to shut up and told to behave myself and go to my room! And think about what I'm doing wrong? When I'm doing something right! All I wanted to do was be a good girl all my life and to be a lady! So that I won't upset anybody on the job site or in my own neighborhood! And I just want so much to be accepted on here and to be treated like everyone else! I keep asking for rules and nobody gives me rules! And everybody on here acts so disciplined? So I know there's a list of rules somewhere! For those that are new and those that have been on here for a while especially for those that get a little carried away and forget what they're doing and why they're on here! And I've been on here on and off for many years and I didn't realize that my behavior was going to be such a problem! Since I'm used to being myself and doing what I do at home in my own life! And being on Facebook was not cool because I picked up a lot of bad habits! That is probably reason right there? Why I'm getting The Unwanted attention and the unexpected behavior of other people that are just as ruthless as those that I had to put up with on facebook! When I just want so much to get on here and read and study and learn and learn and learn and get caught up on things that I've missed out on! As you can see I am a Christian girl and I was brought up christian! And I denounced Christ about 6 years ago and that was when I was on the road of recovery! Getting off the drugs and declaring myself as a recovering drug addict! I needed your help at the time father Satan and I was looking for a group on facebook! And kept running into trouble and more trouble! I remember somebody from the rehab center that I was in telling me about the joy of Satan and telling me that I would fit in perfectly! Because of the way I look at things and the way I feel things should be! So you can tell that I would have fit on here perfectly maybe at the time because I was so vulnerable and stupid! But all I wanted was the truth and I wanted to know who you were and I wanted to study about you but there was no place that I could go to get the truth and to get the answers that I wanted and needed! So when I listen to the audio recordings of HPS Maxine Dietrich I was motivated! And got a hold of the website! And finally found it! And as you can see and as you can tell I was reading through it and looking through it on and off and didn't know what to do or say? I didn't want to get into trouble or get kicked off so I was very careful! I think I had more fun just reading and watching the stuff that people were posting! Until I've logged on! And created my own account so that I can intervene! And be like everyone else and to be seen and noticed! People were posting all kinds of shit pictures and memes and everything and I thought that it looked fun and it reminded me of school! And I know these people are older and I know that they're all different ages! They've been on here for a while so they're pretty advanced in many areas! And compared the things that I learned and knew of growing up which was probably laced with Christianity and Marxism as it is anyway so obviously I had to learn and start over again and retrace! And the more I got into studying the website the more I got into it and the more I wanted to learn! It was like coming home and crawling into my own bed home away from home! I found it very comfortable and very intriguing! And I couldn't get enough my hands and my arms were just trembling to pick up my tablet and read! My mind just buzzing with new ideas and new information! I absorb things like a sponge and I can't get enough! I am always so thirsty for more and I have got an extensive Library here at home! I'm always spending a shitload of money on books! I don't go to the movie theater anymore! They don't make movies the way they used to! Not to mention the fact the movies that people watch is loaded with a bunch of Jewish subliminal messages and I have got enough crap in my mind as it is to deal with! With the life experiences that I went through as a child growing up and being around the wrong people and going to the wrong places and getting all kinds of mixed messages and shit that is not fitting to be on the joy of satan! I have been a lot of help with people but then again I don't want to be in the way either! I have been around all kinds of crazy people which probably explains why I picked up a lot of my stupid shit and probably why I have the problems that I have! And it wreaks Havoc every time I get on here! I wish that I could just get some help for once and for all! And if I want the rules and ask for them I should be able to get the rules! When I want them and need them so I can sit down and read them and properly present myself to the joy of Satan and be like everyone else and show people on here that I'm just like everyone else as well and that I want to intervene and make my own threads and start conversations and be a part of it all just like the next person! Instead of being on here to be a threat to others feeling like a pesky fly and getting in the way and being told not to do this and do that when other people can? Sometimes I kind of wonder if the biggest percent of these people on here are just bigots? The light to be controlling and thrill their power all over the place and sometimes I kind of Wonder people on here are just being bossy hypocrites! Here they do whatever they want to and I'm not allowed to? I guess maybe this person is a paying customer! And that means they're cordially welcome to come and go as they please and help themselves to the food on the shelf and do whatever they want! Walk over to the snag table and get a donut out of the box if you know what I mean read the content and the threads to their hearts contend because they are cordially welcome and that they are a board member! Well how the hell do I get that far? In order to get that kind of treatment? Because I do want to fit in and I want to be able to get my hand and that donut box and sit down and eat a yummy donut and enjoy a hot cup of coffee and have something to read when I pull out a thread and to know that I am welcome and wanted and encouraged to get on and read! Without being treated like a white nigger! I don't appreciate that! I appreciate it when people are kind to me and it's nice to know that when you're allowed to do something? And when you feel welcome and wanted and appreciated it is everything! And to know that you can sit down at that table and help yourself to the smorgasbord of threads and books it is like sitting down to a plate of food! Food for thought! Mentally and spiritually! I would put it in a better proper wording! Where do I go to get my education? And is there anything I'm allowed to read on here? Without getting my hand slap? And is there a way I can communicate with somebody on here and get a hold of a personal Guru on here? Somebody who knows about all of those threads and what is being talked about? So that I can fit in a little more and get updated on things? Because honestly ever since I've been on here this new form format or whatever you call it? I've literally been treated like my skin is black! I sort of feel like a stray dog! And so to speak and I'm not even Jewish I wasn't even brought up jewish! And I know how those pathetic people were treated! But then again you look at them and the way they act and behave! You can see why! Laugh out loud I am not one of those people! And you know that! But I did pick up a lot of bad habits from being on the street and being on drugs! And I picked up a lot of strange things as a little kid growing up hanging with various children in the neighborhood and going to school! Dealing with the obnoxious neighbors and my folks at home I've picked up a lot of nasty habits! So I guess you can say I'm a bit of a wild child on here without a clue to what I'm doing where to go and how to get there without getting my hand slapped or getting yelled at when I am looking for something to read! As you can tell I spent many hours in the library as a teenager! Just to avoid drama! And to keep myself from getting beat up by other kids and to keep myself from getting into a fight or ending up in the principal's office! All I wanted to do was be a good kid and I just want people to know that I was a good kid growing up! Even if I did do stupid things and make poor decisions and make mistakes! I was still a good kid and I've always been a good kid! I just want you to know that and you know me pretty well father Satan.. I wish there was a way that I could fit in! I wish there was something that I can do on here! Because I want to fit in! And I am willing to pay everything and anything just to be like everybody else and fit in! All my life has been that way trying to fit in and trying to find friends and trying to find a place where I feel wanted and accepted where I can sit down and learn anything of my desire! Into my heart's content! And to have friends that I can sit down and talk to on anything on any level! Without any form of punishment or persecution! And without having to say please and thank you I can go help myself to the snack table and load my plate if you know what I mean pick out a good book to read and make a selection and enjoy the pleasure of sitting down and reading and sipping my coffee! It's just like walking in just a store and shopping seeing all the beautiful clothes and all the colors that you can think of all the pretty shoes hats and gloves you can't help but pull out your wallet Instagram things and spending money! And mind you yes I would overspend and spend money that I didn't have to stick it things that I wanted just so that I can look like that so called rich girl in school or one of those that have money or have a job! I wanted to fit in and I wanted the clothes I wanted the attention I wanted the friends I wanted the social life and the money! And it's the same thing with being on this website I see all the colorful lettering the pictures and the memes that people post all over having delightful conversations Heart to Heart intellectual conversations men and women intervening how the hell do I fit into that? And what do I do how much money do you want me to pay? Because I'm willing to dish out as much as I want and as much as I can! Just to be able to fit into these social societies on here! How do I do that? How do I get a hold of some good reading material? Who do I go to for help and what do I do? I want to fit in so bad! It hurts I've always wanted to have good friends and I've always wanted to have plenty to read! I Can't Get Enough education and I am so hungry and thirsty for it all the time! And I'm not going to sit down and just read a bunch of shit either I want something that makes sense and I want something that has common sense with value and a promising Future something that you can use and share with others! Like everybody else does on here! Something to be proud of and a friend that I can look up on and be proud of someone that I can talk to and hang out with! Without dealing with the bunch of troublemakers and their childish jokes! What do I do? Is there a way you can help me? Is there anything I can do? To make myself better and to make things more pleasant? What can I do to fit in? And what can I do to let people know on here that I'm a good girl and that I'm a good student? I want to learn about you and so much about you that it never ends! Once I discovered you and your path I couldn't stop and I don't ever want to stop! I just want to keep going and going and going! And I want you on my side and I want you to be proud of me and I want to be proud of myself as well and I want you to know how much I love you and adore you and appreciate you! You are my God and I am lucky to have somebody like you to look up on! And to come to for help if needed and when it's necessary to call up on your gods and your demons to help me? Especially if I can't get the help or the book or the education that I want? At least I have you! And I have you to thank for finding this website! And helping me get here! And now what do I do to fit in? And how can I be like everyone else? And to be able to have the fun that other people have? Talking and sharing things and getting along with others? What do I do to get that? What do I do to get there? I will pay anything and I will do anything you want me to! I don't want to be an embarrassment and I don't want to be a threat to others laugh out loud that was the last thing I wanted and that is something that I don't need or be a part of when it comes down to being bad or being called a monster! It is not a good place to be and I will do anything to get rid of these bad habits because I am not a bad person! And I want people on this website to know that I'm a good person and how much? I will prove it! And I want people to know that I am just too smart as anybody else on here? Especially if I'm allowed to read books and study and how far I can go and how much I can learn and the things that we can talk about discuss and explain on all levels? I wasn't just some Class Clown most of the time I was a good Avid Reader I did my homework and I did it properly and I turned it in the next day my handwriting wasn't impeccable my grammar was exceptional! And I was a good student even if I was a brat at times and had good reasons! I was still a good kid! And I'm a good kid still to this very day I'm a good girl I'm a 52-year-old woman now and I want people to know that I can behave like a lady and be a woman when it comes down to it because I am an adult I am a hero and I am a warrior especially with what I've been through as it is! At least I own that title and should being a satanic soldier! And a spiritual Satanist! So tell me the rules? How am I supposed to behave? And what am I supposed to do?
![Blitzkreig [JG]](/data/avatars/s/21/21286.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
