Question #3662: For what purpose?

[AskSatanOperator]

For what purpose i live? I mean, i did so much things in life, I tried so hard and I'm still trying so hard...

I already tried suicide so many times, feeling tons of pain both physical and mental, feeling so empty so worthless...

Before you go assuming things about me, here a bit of my life, of what i did and yet... yet feel so lifeless.

In my Childhood, i was already depressed for life, trash family, low knowldge, no father, ausent mother, scumbag granpa and a strong and blind religous grandmother. But still, i tried my best, i started training martial arts for whole 4 years and in beetween those years i discovered the spiritual satanism, i was 16~17 (i never liked cristianity or nothing that is linked somehow this shit). I did my first Muay Thay tornaument and win.

In this time i was doing like 4~10 RTR's (1 rep each rtr) i was trying my best till the 1° day when i discover the SS (Spiritual Satanism), meditated what i learned AFTER the 40 days of power. Tried to contact so many gods on the time, i've done all 4 Special Rituals for the 4 Kings (Satan,Beelzebu, Ishtar and Azazel) and the Abraxas, Valefor Rituals.

I worked in a trash job, yet managed to get promoted due to my hardwork and dedication on get a better life, on my promoted job was a nice payment but yet money never meaned nothing too me, i always seek something that till this day i dont fucking know what is...

I've never founded Love nor a personal love nor a family bound (i dont understand tha fuck family or love is), i got my first time with a prostitute, was the most empty feel that i got in my entire life... i was 21.

after i got my ass kicked from my job, i done a "Security Guard" Course and did some work for a year or more, when i was working in the many events, Shows, Ballads, bars and things like this, i saw so many people just destroying their lifes, disturbing their own mind, disgracing with their own existence... yet they are happy. This shit plus the things that i trying so hard to get off me broke me till a point that a simple yoga or a simple void meditation is making me feel sick, its literraly shattering something inside...

For over a decade since my first try to suicide i feel a pain a empty and worthless sense about life, this pain have grown so much, when i feel it makes me drive insane, i am losting my consciousness, feeling like i gonna just disapear in mid air, a pain so hard that mimic some sort of shaterring inside out.

I've asked the gods so much for help in the begning... time passed and the only thing that i could cultivate in life was hatred. In time i managed to "control" it or at least use to keep striving, this hatred that i can't leave anymore, cuz is literally the only thing that keep me alive, made me a bit prideful about asking things both for the gods or just normal people, today i do my best to make things on my own, I prefer death than asking for help... But today is a try and it will be my last to ask for help, i'am just too tired...


I know i tried... maybe not my best, but even when was nothing left of me, i was there... crawling, trying... in the begning i tried to reach a bunch of gods, seeking for a purpose. After sometime whiout any word or any understanding i think i started too give up on then... has been so much time i am trying so much things... today i have 22, almost 8 years in this path, yet i've seened and feel it only pain and suffering.

pls, dont say things i already know like "Just keep pushing bro! ur just a pussy." < Read the post again and u will see that is not lack of motivation nor lack of triying.

I just want to know, if life really worth living. Just want to know if there is any purpose in my existence besides hate...

Thanks for the attention.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

You are working to make all of your future lives better than this one. Every piece of work and effort that you are doing, all of this is permanently affecting your soul. The physical world does not change as quickly or as easily as your soul and the Astral dimensions.

All of the rewards that you have earned may not have physically come to you yet, but these forces are accumulating within your soul. And in your next life, you will be reincarnated into a much better situation.

 

[Draconi666]

because of Satan, Gods, this family and because of what we are are doing in this world, considering what do we seek as individuals and as a whole, this is why life is worth living.

its not worth to look at life this way and especially considering suicide, this is completely worthless because this brings no fruit, and even has potential to destroy your potential for bring out biggest fruit can be grown out of you, and of our whole, as everyone's participation adds and sum ups.

There is numerious things for what we are living, and these in any way are not negative or worthless.

Rising Kundalini serpent, Magnum Opus, Destroiyng enemy on all levels, bringing more Satans light into this world, bettering ourselves(our souls), showing the world they are all wrong, serving Gods, fixing ourselves, helping each others out on the way, building relationships with Gods and Brothers and Sisters, Growing, advancing in overall, learning about life, studying truth in and out, mastering ourselves, gaining experience, building skills and abilities, doing magic to reach our goals and etc., etc., etc.

all this gets recorded into your soul, and transforms it, this transformation stays with you, trough second life, and next one, and next one.

transformation for which we do labour, is not for looking at life as it is worthless, but to shed our skin, and see it trough new and clear eyes by observing life for what it truly is, and living according to this, and not in according to the mind the enemy tries to ingrain into you that life is death. NO.

Spiritual Satanism is not about suicide or death, here is no place for this nor time.

we have blink of an eye of the Gods, this is how much time we have to reach Godhood in this lifetime, if we not try, or die trying then this is error, because Gods dont put souls of theirs for them to be dissipated or destroyed, they put us here so we would thrive, grow and oppose parasite which is thriving on death - we do not serve them, so we do not seek for death.

Fuck The Mob

Greetings everyone in the Spiritual Satanist family, As a Spiritual Satanist, one must remember the first decision you have made: to part from all the false notions of the mob, of the fools, of the sheep, of those who simply sit there and want no real enlightenment. You have thrown your...

ancient-forums.com

-Draconi666

 

[AFODO]

The purpose is to elevate one's individual self, and the existence that is surround them, and are part of. We are on the Gods side, they want strong soldiers to finally nullify the cosmic threat to humanoid life. We can be part of the greatest cause in the universe, which is the way of life.

Our High Priests have shared endless wisdom in his sermons, so I advise to read them. Search in the library for keywords like "path, Gods, Satan/ic, life"...

 

[Onbael_]

For what purpose i live? I mean, i did so much things in life, I tried so hard and I'm still trying so hard...

I already tried suicide so many times, feeling tons of pain both physical and mental, feeling so empty so worthless...

Before you go assuming things about me, here a bit of my life, of what i did and yet... yet feel so lifeless.

In my Childhood, i was already depressed for life, trash family, low knowldge, no father, ausent mother, scumbag granpa and a strong and blind religous grandmother. But still, i tried my best, i started training martial arts for whole 4 years and in beetween those years i discovered the spiritual satanism, i was 16~17 (i never liked cristianity or nothing that is linked somehow this shit). I did my first Muay Thay tornaument and win.

In this time i was doing like 4~10 RTR's (1 rep each rtr) i was trying my best till the 1° day when i discover the SS (Spiritual Satanism), meditated what i learned AFTER the 40 days of power. Tried to contact so many gods on the time, i've done all 4 Special Rituals for the 4 Kings (Satan,Beelzebu, Ishtar and Azazel) and the Abraxas, Valefor Rituals.

I worked in a trash job, yet managed to get promoted due to my hardwork and dedication on get a better life, on my promoted job was a nice payment but yet money never meaned nothing too me, i always seek something that till this day i dont fucking know what is...

I've never founded Love nor a personal love nor a family bound (i dont understand tha fuck family or love is), i got my first time with a prostitute, was the most empty feel that i got in my entire life... i was 21.

after i got my ass kicked from my job, i done a "Security Guard" Course and did some work for a year or more, when i was working in the many events, Shows, Ballads, bars and things like this, i saw so many people just destroying their lifes, disturbing their own mind, disgracing with their own existence... yet they are happy. This shit plus the things that i trying so hard to get off me broke me till a point that a simple yoga or a simple void meditation is making me feel sick, its literraly shattering something inside...

For over a decade since my first try to suicide i feel a pain a empty and worthless sense about life, this pain have grown so much, when i feel it makes me drive insane, i am losting my consciousness, feeling like i gonna just disapear in mid air, a pain so hard that mimic some sort of shaterring inside out.

I've asked the gods so much for help in the begning... time passed and the only thing that i could cultivate in life was hatred. In time i managed to "control" it or at least use to keep striving, this hatred that i can't leave anymore, cuz is literally the only thing that keep me alive, made me a bit prideful about asking things both for the gods or just normal people, today i do my best to make things on my own, I prefer death than asking for help... But today is a try and it will be my last to ask for help, i'am just too tired...


I know i tried... maybe not my best, but even when was nothing left of me, i was there... crawling, trying... in the begning i tried to reach a bunch of gods, seeking for a purpose. After sometime whiout any word or any understanding i think i started too give up on then... has been so much time i am trying so much things... today i have 22, almost 8 years in this path, yet i've seened and feel it only pain and suffering.

pls, dont say things i already know like "Just keep pushing bro! ur just a pussy." < Read the post again and u will see that is not lack of motivation nor lack of triying.

I just want to know, if life really worth living. Just want to know if there is any purpose in my existence besides hate...

Thanks for the attention.

I understand you, and I mean it.

But there are not many solutions, there is only one way to be happy and to grow, if you reject it you will simply die because of the laws of the universe. There are only two paths, one leads to non-existence, and the other to progress.

Concretely I wouldn't know what to advise you, maybe you can set goals to improve your life, such as training or the like, or even overcome all the problems such as trauma and other shortcomings.

Perhaps the point of it all is simply to become a person who can improve the lives of others and receive their love and respect in return. An example here could be a partner, but also family, or broadly speaking your own race.
Those who do not respect you, simply cut them out of your life, and then they will regret it. Or at least when you reach a certain level.

But to do this you have to improve in many ways as a man, and you have to go through a lot of suffering.
The idea above came to me thinking about why Satan created us or why he loves us (at least we who respect him).

It makes sense to me, it would also connect to the concept of being human as a social being, or even the dynamics between male and female.

I never thought of such a thing, all the corruption, NPCs and the like, always made me think of hating humanity.

I don't know if I have expressed the concept well, but what do you think? I did not speak from experience, I am still trying to get a general picture of how things should work.