Hi, I'm new to this group and thought I should introduce myself. My name is Christine(Dreadfull name..) and I've grown up in a home where religion did not matter that much, even though my great-grandfather was extremly christian and started a sunday-school, etc. I've never belived in the christian god or, even though they told me at school that I should(they can be extreme about religion in some Norwegian schools). And like the good girl I was, I prayed when I was little. I remember the mother of my father had cancer when I was 6-7 years old. I loved her endlessly and prayed every night that she would get better. But she died. After that I never prayed again, 'cause I blamed the christian god and later I stopped beliving in all that. I can not say that I've had a.. great childhood or any thing like that. I went through a deppression, got bullied and lost my best friend, the only one who really had my back. Even though he was a horse, he was my best friend. We learned alot from each other, he was abused in his past home and I had a deppression. I learned him to trust, he learned me that people and animals cares. I'm glad that he is dead, actually. He was in such pain, he deserved better. I went trough another deppression after that, not as deep as the first one, but everything went wrong. I got up on my feet, somehow, and called myself an atheist. I could not have any religion, and if that christian god existed (as everybody around me said) how could he ignore me when I prayed to him and all that? I can't say things were good after that, my sister took drugs, made my mother cry, was attacked and almost raped by a gang and so on. Someone tryed to talk me into satanism, not like spiritual satanism. They tryed to convince me that god was real, satan also. In that way that satan was evil and all that.. I never found that belivable. That did not make sense. Lately I discovered Spiritual Satanism(via youtube actually! haha.) That was the first time I read about a religion, and it made sense! I have not done any rituals or anything like that, I'm not quite ready yet. But still, I feel that this is the real deal! Whenever I'm really scared or am in any sort of pain, I think of Satan and beg him to help me, he helps me! If I'm scared, I feel that something protects me, I get a calm feeling. If I'm in any pain, I feel like a fathers gentle hand is holding mine and in some way making the pain go a bit away. It is a miracle for me, 'cause I have never felt anything like that! I'm convinced, Satan is real and he cares about you. Of course I can't tell my parents that I belive in this, they would get mad, I just know that.. But I've shown the joy of satan page to my boyfriend, and he thinks that it also makes sense! People sees that I'm much happier now, most of them probently thinks it's just because I'm in love and all that, but.. No, not just about that.
And now I kind of LOVE youtube. That was where I found out about this religion. Haha!
And now I kind of LOVE youtube. That was where I found out about this religion. Haha!
haha. I have performed the ritual now! And I did not do it in my astral temple. I took a chance by doing it ''out in reality'' x] My parents were outside the house and I.. dedicated xD The reason of that I'm all shaky and stuff is mostly because when I was burning the prayer, weeell.. I did not think about the fire alarm in the ceiling. Weell, it started to ''scream'' and then I got panic, but I got finished and then my parents ran into my room. They've got no clue about what I really did, they thought I lost something on the candle just, haha. Well, then it's official!
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