scribe1117
New member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2013
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Hi there. I am not sure how one typically opens up conversation here, having only looked at a few of the threads by fellow Satanists, but I'll just lay out what I want to say as an introduction. I apologise for the length of this but I don't know how to shorten it without losing important detail.
I was previously an atheist; I've never believed any of the bollocks in the Bible (which I've read along with the Koran) and always felt deeply repulsed by the message they both convey. For a long time I just thought I didn't believe in a God or anything like that and was just generally skeptical of anything mystical or deep in that way. I've always been an avid reader of science, and all kinds of literature. But there was always more to it than just me being an atheist, I always felt slightly angry when I listened to Christians talking about the fall and Satan and, what I now consider such, blaspheming him so brazenly in reverence for their god Yahweh, whom I've always felt a deep-seated dislike for. But anyway, I've come to Satanism of my own free will, and as the result of what I feel has been a guided process all the while. I won't go into detail on that at the moment because it'd take a lot of explanation. But it's kind of why I feel I am one of Satan's own.
I performed the dedication ritual last night/this morning at 3 am. I figured if 3 is Satan's hour, it might help me to make the occasion that much more special and electrically charged. Everything went really well - much better than I thought it would. I did some light meditation before I performed the ritual itself and managed to squeeze out plenty of blood to sign my name in, which came out very clear. I am a perfectionist in this way.
When I'd completed the ritual with "Hail Satan!", I felt strangely calm. Calm and fearless. It's odd, but I hadn't looked at the stars at all that night but once I'd finished the ritual and was packing things away, going between the garage and house, I was aware of the stars immediately, and they were the clearest I've ever seen them. Not a cloud in the sky but clear, shining constellations. I wasn't expecting to feel quite so aware of my surroundings after the ritual and every little noise was perceptibly more amplified.
When I went to sleep later, I was dozing for quite a while, and concentrating on trying to feel for the fourth dimension I've read about. Slowly but surely, I got a sense of walking through darkness and mist in an astral sense.The picture cleared and I could clearly see myself somewhere I've never seen before: I was walking through low-hanging smoke/mist and beneath my feet there was the feeling of a slightly domed floor which would have been transparent had I been able to see through the mist. I was just aware of that aspect. I can't explain how I know. The ground just felt thin, I suppose. I was also picking up the feeling of a signal coming through my left ear a bit like metal conducts electricity, and I was aware of a presence somewhere else in the mist but I couldn't see what it was. Eventually I lost the picture due to fatigue and fell asleep. I guess that picture will get clearer with practise but it felt like "my spiritual place" immediately. I can't really explain that feeling.
In my sleep I dreamed much more deeply than usual (I usually don't dream a lot at all), and my dreams were concerned with the origin of language and voice for some reason. I picked up the distinct message that something was trying to educate me that Father Satan was responsible for our learned ability to speak when our species was in its infancy. I could be wrong on that but that's what the message felt like to me. I've never even thought about anything like that before and it just made a light bulb go off in my head. I had images of ancient tablets and scrolls, although I couldn't read what was on them, being passed between darker-skinned people. I can't tell what ethnicity precisely but something quite Egyptian or similar to.
That was all very deep and strange. Once again, I will hopefully get better at learning through these experiences than I am at the moment. It feels a bit like having walked under a blanket for years. Perhaps more interesting was the fact I dreamed of being in an old Victorian house somewhere with two people I've never seen in my life. One was clearly a house maiden or a nurse and the other was an elderly man. The house maiden/nurse was taking a sample of the man's blood which I thought was pretty out of place for such an antiquated setting. I was looking on just outside of the action when the elderly man took out a knife and stabbed her in the pit of her stomach and just watched her die. Now, usually, when I have a dream like that, I get a bit frightened but I felt strangely calm on this occasion. And before the young lady died she looked toward the knife in the old man's hand and then toward me as if she could see me for the first time and said "Med'ek Carreau". The first word I don't understand and it could be spelt differently. It could have also been "murder" but it wasn't pronounced with anything remotely close to an English accent. She then repeated the phrase and died.
I did some research on Carreau when I woke up today and found he was a Prince of Powers among the Demons and offers control over emotions and strength. That seemed to fit with everything that happened and also my own "spiritual place". I can't piece together the full meaning of the message and I was wondering whether some of you may be able to help me out a bit.
I didn't expect anything quite so intense for a first-time exploration into Satanism, although I've had strange dreams before where I've felt the presence of the all-white being Lucifer/Satan as a protecting influence. At the time I just never thought anything of it and thought I was just being imaginative or silly. Not any more.
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any replies I receive.
I was previously an atheist; I've never believed any of the bollocks in the Bible (which I've read along with the Koran) and always felt deeply repulsed by the message they both convey. For a long time I just thought I didn't believe in a God or anything like that and was just generally skeptical of anything mystical or deep in that way. I've always been an avid reader of science, and all kinds of literature. But there was always more to it than just me being an atheist, I always felt slightly angry when I listened to Christians talking about the fall and Satan and, what I now consider such, blaspheming him so brazenly in reverence for their god Yahweh, whom I've always felt a deep-seated dislike for. But anyway, I've come to Satanism of my own free will, and as the result of what I feel has been a guided process all the while. I won't go into detail on that at the moment because it'd take a lot of explanation. But it's kind of why I feel I am one of Satan's own.
I performed the dedication ritual last night/this morning at 3 am. I figured if 3 is Satan's hour, it might help me to make the occasion that much more special and electrically charged. Everything went really well - much better than I thought it would. I did some light meditation before I performed the ritual itself and managed to squeeze out plenty of blood to sign my name in, which came out very clear. I am a perfectionist in this way.
When I'd completed the ritual with "Hail Satan!", I felt strangely calm. Calm and fearless. It's odd, but I hadn't looked at the stars at all that night but once I'd finished the ritual and was packing things away, going between the garage and house, I was aware of the stars immediately, and they were the clearest I've ever seen them. Not a cloud in the sky but clear, shining constellations. I wasn't expecting to feel quite so aware of my surroundings after the ritual and every little noise was perceptibly more amplified.
When I went to sleep later, I was dozing for quite a while, and concentrating on trying to feel for the fourth dimension I've read about. Slowly but surely, I got a sense of walking through darkness and mist in an astral sense.The picture cleared and I could clearly see myself somewhere I've never seen before: I was walking through low-hanging smoke/mist and beneath my feet there was the feeling of a slightly domed floor which would have been transparent had I been able to see through the mist. I was just aware of that aspect. I can't explain how I know. The ground just felt thin, I suppose. I was also picking up the feeling of a signal coming through my left ear a bit like metal conducts electricity, and I was aware of a presence somewhere else in the mist but I couldn't see what it was. Eventually I lost the picture due to fatigue and fell asleep. I guess that picture will get clearer with practise but it felt like "my spiritual place" immediately. I can't really explain that feeling.
In my sleep I dreamed much more deeply than usual (I usually don't dream a lot at all), and my dreams were concerned with the origin of language and voice for some reason. I picked up the distinct message that something was trying to educate me that Father Satan was responsible for our learned ability to speak when our species was in its infancy. I could be wrong on that but that's what the message felt like to me. I've never even thought about anything like that before and it just made a light bulb go off in my head. I had images of ancient tablets and scrolls, although I couldn't read what was on them, being passed between darker-skinned people. I can't tell what ethnicity precisely but something quite Egyptian or similar to.
That was all very deep and strange. Once again, I will hopefully get better at learning through these experiences than I am at the moment. It feels a bit like having walked under a blanket for years. Perhaps more interesting was the fact I dreamed of being in an old Victorian house somewhere with two people I've never seen in my life. One was clearly a house maiden or a nurse and the other was an elderly man. The house maiden/nurse was taking a sample of the man's blood which I thought was pretty out of place for such an antiquated setting. I was looking on just outside of the action when the elderly man took out a knife and stabbed her in the pit of her stomach and just watched her die. Now, usually, when I have a dream like that, I get a bit frightened but I felt strangely calm on this occasion. And before the young lady died she looked toward the knife in the old man's hand and then toward me as if she could see me for the first time and said "Med'ek Carreau". The first word I don't understand and it could be spelt differently. It could have also been "murder" but it wasn't pronounced with anything remotely close to an English accent. She then repeated the phrase and died.
I did some research on Carreau when I woke up today and found he was a Prince of Powers among the Demons and offers control over emotions and strength. That seemed to fit with everything that happened and also my own "spiritual place". I can't piece together the full meaning of the message and I was wondering whether some of you may be able to help me out a bit.
I didn't expect anything quite so intense for a first-time exploration into Satanism, although I've had strange dreams before where I've felt the presence of the all-white being Lucifer/Satan as a protecting influence. At the time I just never thought anything of it and thought I was just being imaginative or silly. Not any more.
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any replies I receive.
Good that you came here, to the right place. And yeah, yours was longish, but HEY, if a good testimony is LONG, it is only a longer pleasure while reading it
