I remember when I dedicated I tried heating up the pin and then jabbing it, absolutely determined but it just wasn't happening. Mid-ritual while the incense was burning, I just went to the kitchen grabbed the biggest kitchen knife and slashed down my hand XD. I thought it didn't cut properly first(I expected to see blood right away), so then I did it really angrily, about 4 more times and bit down hard and thought "WHY WON'T ANYTHING WORK, I'M SUCH A DUMB SHIT!!" and then looked at my hand, a massive load of cuts just opened up like The Shining and started pouring blood downwards. By the time I got up stairs back to the paper, it somehow had stopped bleeding so much, I guess cos I was stood there in the kitchen for a while fascinated, looking at the blood pour out. I got barely any blood on the paper surprisingly(but plenty on the kitchen sides), screwed up my signature from the adrenaline (I scrawled it on and the pen was nearly out), and was coughing heavily all on my altar when the paper burnt in my room cos I forgot to open a window. I still wouldn't say I fucked it up. There were also people in the house when I was doing this but I did it really quickly an discreetly, distracted by it but also determined because it was the first ritualistic thing I ever did. I was a right cock up :lol:
The hours after were incredibly peculiar, I'll never forget them. I walked to his house and told my best friend, and he started laughing and said to me "I just knew you were gonna do something like that, all these years I just knew!" lol. My other mate who I think was involved with people into reverse xianity was also really supportive, him and his girlfriend, they told me they were having dreams and stuff of peacocks which I thought was strange after I started reading the site again. All my old friends seemed to be pretty pro-Satan, I even burnt a bible with them some months after it, for the first time. It got handed to me by some small little black guys with squeaky voices when we were in the city and we were all just laughing at them XD. I burnt it on an open street with loads of people usually walking nearby, I was also spraying some Satanic graffiti when it was burning... and by pure luck no one spotted us. After you dedicate I think its pretty normal to have weird or surreal coinkydink shit happen, I remember feeling really free and running my fingers through wet leaves. It was bizarre.
If you're tired of waiting, get really impatient and daring. Just close your eyes and press down hard. It's only a flesh wound, that astral temple shit simply takes forever to do.
