May I have some advice? Long paragraph inside.

[drakkard_niwakari]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this, and I've been studying the last few days on Satanism, and I'm extremely interested in it. But there is so much I don't understand, and I'm scared I may not be good enough. Anyways, I have yet to do the commitment ritual due to the lack of resources and that I practically have no privacy in this house, I share a room. I'm 20 yet I'm living with my 2 elder sisters, little brother, and parents. I'm unsure about my dad and brother but my mother and my eldest sister are into all that holy bible kinda thing. And my eldest sister has a psychic ability and can see stuff and is plagued by nightmares sometimes so.. If I'm caught, I'd probably get in trouble, which is probably stupid cause I'm of legal age. So... How can I show that I want to worship him without letting others know? Until I'm out of this house of course, which will probably take a long time... I don't have a good enough or stable job. No experience either... How should I devote myself to him? And since I have no ability to feel anything whatsoever, how will I know? And if I have dreams, will I remember? I'm no good with memory, and I can't remember my dreams half the time =[ Also... I'm embarrassed at the fact.. Like, what if I mispronounce names? I don't want to disrespect them in anyway.. I want to better myself, but it's hard to with my mindset. And meditation will be hard cause everything thing distracts me. Last but not least, sometimes I read astrological stuff on the JoS website and I do not understand anything.. I just... Advise? On anything and everything? Please and thank you!

 

[en_haradren_amlug]

The best thing you can do at this point is study. Read read read. This is the best thing to start with, just keep reading and studying the JoS. It took me a few months to read through it all and before I did the Dedication Ritual. And I've now been dedicated for 6 years, and there is still a LOT of stuff I need to learn, astrology being one of them.

The next thing you need to look at starting is a Basic Meditation Program. This can be found on the JoS in the Meditations section, or you can create your own based off it, and the meditations on the JoS. Do this at night, lying in bed when everyone is asleep. Close your eyes and meditate for 10-30 mins before you go to sleep each night. You will be amazed by the difference it makes. Power Meditation is the core of Spiritual Satanism.
As for the rest, it all comes with time, you just need patience and consistance.
Don't worry about mispronouncing names or anything. The Gods are far above being offended by such small things. Also, there is a section in the 'Runes' section of the JoS (which can be found on the Satanic Witchcraft page) that is about pronunciation of each letter. This should help you.
-En Haradren Amlug.

---In [email protected], <[email protected] wrote:

Hi everyone, I'm new to this, and I've been studying the last few days on Satanism, and I'm extremely interested in it. But there is so much I don't understand, and I'm scared I may not be good enough. Anyways, I have yet to do the commitment ritual due to the lack of resources and that I practically have no privacy in this house, I share a room. I'm 20 yet I'm living with my 2 elder sisters, little brother, and parents. I'm unsure about my dad and brother but my mother and my eldest sister are into all that holy bible kinda thing. And my eldest sister has a psychic ability and can see stuff and is plagued by nightmares sometimes so.. If I'm caught, I'd probably get in trouble, which is probably stupid cause I'm of legal age. So... How can I show that I want to worship him without letting others know? Until I'm out of this house of course, which will probably take a long time... I don't have a good enough or stable job. No experience either... How should I devote myself to him? And since I have no ability to feel anything whatsoever, how will I know? And if I have dreams, will I remember? I'm no good with memory, and I can't remember my dreams half the time =[ Also... I'm embarrassed at the fact.. Like, what if I mispronounce names? I don't want to disrespect them in anyway.. I want to better myself, but it's hard to with my mindset. And meditation will be hard cause everything thing distracts me. Last but not least, sometimes I read astrological stuff on the JoS website and I do not understand anything.. I just... Advise? On anything and everything? Please and thank you!