Lost in Life

[AsraArdwulfLeberecht]

Greetings. I come here with a big problem. I have no other life beside Satanism.
My sole purpose is to fight against the jews which is great but aside that I live nothing.
After I finish with my SS duties for the day, I simply don't know what to do. I feel trapped in my own house.
Whatever part of life it is, you name it, I don't have it. It's empty. Perhaps I know myself that little, that literally no idea comes to mind when I ask myself what I desire. Anything, from a hobby to a personal calling, not knowing literally any-thing of me, not even something I want, so I don't know how to continue my life after SS duties are over.
I sat down and thought. To build something for me. I have some time. I have the energy. And heck I'd do it. And I couldn't pin point anything.
I literally don't know what to do in this world except meditate. But I can't meditate 24 out of 7 and when I don't, the world feels estranged.
I feel I'm wasting my existence because of this. I look at other people. Not the ones that are living dead, all booze and smoke which truly never accomplished anything. I don't compare myself with those because I did accomplish being an SS and I'm accomplishing that everyday. But I compare myself with those that are without, maybe not living an important life in terms of this war, but they got a mission in this world, self appointed. They did something that called them and their life can be called anything but empty. In their domain, whatever that is, they're experts, at least fulfilled.
It's like I don't know in which direction to stir the boat. No, like there's no direction at all like my boat's in a big hole on dry land. Because really I see no water here. I know there is. There's a ton of things to do in this world except necessary daily life, I think, but then when it comes to understanding 1 of them, it beats me.
I came to the point to feel unsafe with myself when I'm not doing SS duties because it's like after I finish I stop existing until the next day when I can do it all over again.
This inactivity is killing me.
Anyone else been through this?

 

[Aquarius]

In this case you have to try some things out. People get to know if they like something when they try it.
If you have never worked out check out some bodyweight exercises on youtube and do those. If you never ran look at a video describing proper posture and how to land the foot and go run. Go to a museum, see if you like art(make sure it's not a modern museum), go hiking see if you like it, listen to some classic music, Beethoven, Mozart, Wagner, you name it, my personal suggestion listen to Wagner's Parsifal Overture, or Mozart's requiem.
Watch some crash courses on history on youtube, ecc.

Most important if all, don't do all at once, no need to feel overwhelmed, try these or other things when you feel like it, but remember to actually do something, that's the most important.

 

[AsraArdwulfLeberecht]

In this case you have to try some things out. People get to know if they like something when they try it.
If you have never worked out check out some bodyweight exercises on youtube and do those. If you never ran look at a video describing proper posture and how to land the foot and go run. Go to a museum, see if you like art(make sure it's not a modern museum), go hiking see if you like it, listen to some classic music, Beethoven, Mozart, Wagner, you name it, my personal suggestion listen to Wagner's Parsifal Overture, or Mozart's requiem.
Watch some crash courses on history on youtube, ecc.

Most important if all, don't do all at once, no need to feel overwhelmed, try these or other things when you feel like it, but remember to actually do something, that's the most important.

Thanks for the recommendations, will do!