Apryl said:
You might have missed a link I shared above to another thread about being a HP/HPS.
I read that you said you dedicated, hence why I didn't say to dedicate in my reply; and I said that you might have read the JoS site, but that isn't enough. I'll say it again in Americanian -
Yeah, sure ya read the site, but d'ya think that's gunna get ya anywier? Youse gadda apply the knaaahledge!
slaps back of hand in other hand Ya know wat choo gadda do, don'tcha? Yeh godda geddup off yer American keister, and get work'n'!
I saw what you said. My points still stand.
Your focus is to be a HP, and I would say that you are convinced that that means you are a "man of god" and everything else is less, as it were in christianity. You didn't say that your true self has come out, via the meditations and workings, so I reiterate to you to do them, and etc. of what I said regarding that. Having came from a very christianised environment, the chances are fleeting that your true self would have come out in a year or so.
So far after at least 2 warnings, which you ignore, you have kept your avatar picture the same identifiable picture. Just reading through things thoroughly it not is not enough. I might sound like ARv2 here - but instead of suggesting that you do the effing King and Queen, I'll say to do the meditations (which might very well include the King and Queen, in fact).
Your sole focus on becoming a 'church leader' is steering you towards that big, old Oak Tree in the next bend of the road - and big, old oak trees are rooted down deeply. They're stubborn, you might say, but be certain you don't try to pick a fight with it... You'll be off the road, and the tree will win, and you'll be upset that your 'journey' came to an abrupt halt, in pain; and your car will be written-off, and that would be upsetting in multiple ways.
If you do become a HP in the future, then fine, but don't disappoint yourself with expectations if it either doesn't happen in your time-frame, or if it doesn't happen at all. You've set an expectation, an appointment, but - to use an American sport analogy - life tends to throw curve balls, and you might 'strike out' or get struck by the ball and blame me, us, or Satan, and that face/hard ball interaction stings and leaves a lovely bruise or a broken bone.
You need to start, and then continue, keeping focussed on your own advancement and empowerment, which I repeat. Without that, you will not be a HP, ever. There's that big, old oak tree with a rather peculiar curve ball, in a confusing and mixed scene, swooping past. Duck! Keep your eyes on the road - your advancement and empowerment, then sooner or later things flow, and if the current takes you to priesthood, then fine; if not, then it's fine for us, but I expect you'd be upset and disappointed.
Maybe this will help you understand, instead -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfjtsQ-1H38
Work! Advance and empower.