Hi! I am also new, and I am looking for exactly the same answer as you, the difference is that I have been informing myself for some time, I have been moving away from spiritual satanism and at the same time returning to it. Simply because of doubts or opinions of people around me, but lately I have already realized that that does not matter, recently I reread the PDF on Maxine's Guardian Demons and Gods of Hell, while reading I began to feel a kind of burning in my left index finger, like when they prick you, and that is precisely the finger from which the blood is drawn for the initiation ritual, it seemed like a sign to me, that's why I continued to learn more. And what drives me back is if there is any possibility that she is Jewish, the same concern as yours. Only that I have not started or started with the meditations yet, I want to know beforehand if I can be or not, even so I feel my energy or bioelectricity frequently, and they are like chilling, I feel very alive, also maybe I feel that I am protected , like good luck in trouble. Yet I am terrified of being Jewish more than anything because of the revenge that Satanists, Satan and the gods will have on the Jews and Grays. I am very sorry if I am not understood well, I use the translator, besides I do not know if I am giving well to understand what I want to say, thank you very much.