Antichrist
Member
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2018
- Messages
- 306
Hello everyone. I want to share with you my story, which almost completely broke me. It may seem insignificant to you, but nevertheless I decided to share it with you in the hope of finding some kind of support, as I am now overwhelmed with very negative thoughts and emotions. Nine months ago I met a girl. I liked her, almost everything about her was good for me. She also took a liking to me. We talked for three months and during these three months I did not offer her to enter into a relationship with me. I did not dare to enter into a relationship with her because at that period of my life I had problems in the psycho-emotional sphere, in work and in the financial part. In general, I did not really want to enter into a relationship at that moment, since I was not up to it. In addition, I was not particularly sure that she was the one with whom I was ready to connect my life. And for this reason, she lost interest in me and found another guy. This shocked me greatly. I realized that I did not want to lose her and did everything possible to keep her. But all my efforts were in vain, it was already too late. I looked at the guy she found. I found that he has some jewish blood in him, judging by his appearance, he has a jewish nose .... I looked at his relatives, I found some of them have rat features. He does not consider himself a jew and does not even suspect it, but I know he is a partial jew for sure. Oh god, this kills me even more, the girl I have feelings for got involved with a partial jew. I also looked at their synastry and saw that his saturn is in opposition to her two chart rulers (Sun and Mercury), they also have a square of Mars and Pluto, a square between their mars and a square between moons and venus. It seems she will not be happy if she connects her life with him. He will spoil her life ... Today I talked to him on the phone, he said that everything is serious with them and they are going to introduce their parents to each other. He said they were going to get married. Oh my god, I'm just devastated ... now I'm writing this and my hands are shaking, I want to cry but I can't because I'm empty inside. I don't want her to sleep with him, to have children by him. Why the fuck is this happening to me. What is interesting is that life often threw me girls who were mixed jews, and I always refused them because I knew that they had jewish blood. In this case, the gentile girl went to a mixed jew. What the fuck is this? Is this fucking karma? Why is this happening to me??? I'm 27 and I don't have a lot of money, a prestigious profession, or a car. I don’t even have a full-fledged family, I grew up without a father all my life. He is better than me in these aspects. The only thing I have is belonging to Satan and the belief that someday I will be able to do something worthy in this damn life. But at the moment I feel lost, I don’t know which direction to move, I don’t even know what steps to take because I don’t know exactly which direction to go. I feel lost. I know that there are people in the world who have more significant problems, but now this is the pain that I am experiencing. Maybe I'm winding myself up about this because I have Venus square Pluto in my natal . But now I'm in a very depressed state.