Blitzkreig [JG said:
" post_id=375221 time=1658025225 user_id=21286]
1. I have no wife.
2. No child. Of course, I am nowhere near in a financial position to have child. And even if I had the money, at 40 I would be very cautious about having children. Of course, that certainly wouldn't be an issue now, because the world and my country are in freefall. I have no desire to be a father, but it's strange to be faced with this branch of the family dying out with me (no siblings, my cousin's children carry on the family name).
3. No relationship.
4. I am 39 years old and have never had a long-term relationship.
5. I have almost no experience of meeting, dating, women, sex life. This is an
extreme phenomenon at 39, which
of course discourages women. And makes it very
likely that I will never find a partner. Of course, there are many other reasons for this. I am theoretically bisexual, which reinforces my inhibitions. I have a strong and entrenched fetish, which reinforces my inhibitions. I was an alcoholic 3 years ago, which makes any sober social life difficult. I have serious self-doubt about my appearance. And over the years (especially when I was still an alcoholic) I became quite sensitive and tired "down there" because of all the compulsive "lonely sex." Because of this I am also inhibited about how I would cope with a real, normal, meaningful sex life at 40 after such a lifestyle.
6. I have no financial savings.
7. I earn minimum wage, which is currently 335 euros (133.000 HUF). I have been working here for 5.5 years, no pay rise, the job requires 8 years of primary school. A trained chimp could do my job. Depressing, boring and demotivating. I get up at 04.40 in the morning, sometimes spending 4x11 hours at work from Monday to Friday. And 90% of forumers don't realise that when someone asks a question, they are listing things that only a 16 year old can fit into their agenda, but only if they spend 20 out of 24 hours awake. :roll:
8. I have been working in this type of job for 13.5 years. I have never worked in anything but this useless job. This is where my youth passed. I've been around stupid, evil, illiterate people for many years. (There have been a few honorable exceptions.) The work is
deeply below my abilities, and
deeply below my opportunities. I was awarded the title of dr. a year ago, and I go to work every day hoping not to run into anyone I know. My classic career as a lawyer (judge, prosecutor, defence lawyer, notary public, legal counsel) is no longer an option. These would require 3 years of internship (in a job that officially counts as internship), and then
gigantic specialised exams that my brain, age and lifestyle no longer allow for. (Again, unlike the average, I have
self-awareness and situational awareness, so don't start with the "defeatist thinking" chatting.)
So I no longer have a realistic chance of a career and financial security. I could have had it all, and this was confirmed by my instructors, because I excelled in the university, even compared to full-time students. As a general lawyer, my
maximum option for the future is to push files in a mediocre job in an office of the administration. But I don't mind that either, and I was happy to prepare for it. But... See next point.
9. I studied correspondence course at university and worked while studying. I paid my tuition fees from my low wages. There is no internship for correspondence course students, so I can't even put that much on my CV. Because I worked and prepared for all the exams to the maximum, I finished university in 11 years instead of the 5 years required by the model curriculum. This took 6 years (I could have graduated from another university in that time) away from what I could have spent building my life. And employers don't like that when they read it on my CV.
After I got my degree, many more months passed without me being able to look for a job. Because here in my city, they were looking for lawyers mainly in the public sector, and the whole public sector was required to have 2 or 3 vaccines. Now it is not compulsory, but wherever I apply, I don't even get an interview. Not even for jobs requiring a
secondary education. (I don't look down on jobs that don't require a degree). They don't even invite me to the
university, even though I got my degree there and have been working at the university for 5.5 years in a shitty minimum wage job. I live a few metres from the university, I have applied
twice for a job as a lawyer there, and I have not even been invited to interview. I graduated
summa cum laude from them, which maybe 3-4 people besides me did. To another job I applied
4 times and they didn't even interview me once. I was not invited for an interview for a job
in the next street, where I applied for a job requiring a
secondary education, while a close relative supposedly "helped" me...
I've just had a well-attended, encouraging interview for what would have been a dream job. I had done everything I could, and all I needed was a
little nudge from Satan to stop me from facing hopeless misery. And yes, I took your advice and told Satan all about it. It was absolutely useless for me to think so carefully, write down and then explain my situation and my thoughts. Unfortunately your advice, and Blitzkreig's advice didn't work. I'm about to turn 40, and here in Hungary employers don't like late career changes. Especially not when someone has always "worked" in a street-sweeper category job, and then at 40 starts sending in CVs saying he wants to be a lawyer. This is common and natural in many countries, but in ours it is unfortunately an extreme oddity. And the structure and attitude of society will unfortunately not be helped by 40 days of vibration.
I mean, I am now at the point where it is doubtful whether I will ever work as a lawyer for a single day. But that's all I know how to do, that's what I'm good at, that's what I like. And it makes me cry to think how many years, how much energy and struggle, how many weekends and holidays studying, how much time off work (sometimes unpaid leave) I have put into university, but will probably never work in the profession.
10. As I said, I live on the breadline. I paid about 4-5 thousand euros for university,
which will apparently never come back.
This means that by the age of 40 I am still living in the back flat of my parents' house. A tiny 3 premise apartment that literally fits my cat and me. (I did the aura cleaning in the toilet, etc.) And the stuff barely fits. The design of the house is such that although the apartment is separate,
I have no privacy. And the apartment is so cluttered that I literally could almost not seat a guest. Please don't even get me started on moving. I won't be bringing in strange tenants to live with my 70-something parents and our elderly dog. I, on the other hand, would only be able to pay rent if I rented out the apartment in the back that I have now. Besides, I don't want to be 40 years old and have to pay, pay, pay for a sublet, but will never be mine. And can be sent toat any time (it's happened in my life). If I were suddenly would be sent to, I would literally have nowhere to go with my cat if my tenants were still in the back apartment. (And it would be difficult even to find an sublet where I could go with a cat.) And I would hate to expose my street rescued cat to another move.
So this point 10 is about my independence and autonomy being
zero. I can't meet people, I can't date, I can't bring anyone into my apartment. The flat is falling apart, it's in pretty bad shape and I don't have the money for any major investment. But it doesn't matter. Point 10 is all the same, because my young years when I could really make the most of my independence and autonomy are over. When it would have meant something and I could have put it to good use. It's all the same now, my hair is turning grey like snow.
Therefore, I did not ask Satan to correct point 10 (nor did I ask him to correct most of the points listed), and I told Him why I did not burden Him with such unnecessary requests. Before you say I beg for gifts like a christian.
11. Even if I had one hand up my ass, I could solve many of the problems that some people here on the forum are complaining about. I got rid of alcoholism three and a quarter years ago. Without medication, without a support group, without a specialist and - now get this - without runes and astrology.
I was working 16 hour shifts for shit money, at work from 6am to 10pm. I had no weekends, no holidays because I was either at university or at work. And guess what: I was able to pay my tuition fees without any money magic, and people didn't like to take the exam right after me, I was so good. You'll be shocked: I didn't even have to do yoga or burn incense to get a
summa cum laude. I write these down because Henu says that physical action in itself is
meh. :lol: I will add, of course, that although I didn't do magic at the time, Satan and my Guardian Demon helped me
a lot.
I worked in a catholic church institution for 8 years, I was a xian, xians were my friends. I broke with everything and everyone, I did a 180 in my life. I have read, researched, written my own papers (hundreds of pages), while here on this forum people ask the most obvious nonsense for the hundredth time.
In a vaccine-obsessed country I have successfully resisted social blackmail for 2.5 years. I have not registered for vaccination and have not been vaccinated. I voted for the only anti-vaccine party in the election. I put my name and face undertook: I participated in a demonstration and signed a petition. I drafted a legal document to help people I didn't know for free against compulsory vaccination in the workplace. I actively campaigned online against vaccination in several forums. I did not spend a day clowning around in "home office". And I often didn't wear a mask at work, even though it was mandatory. I made a personal sacrifice: I stayed in the minimum wage putri with a fresh degree, so that I could not be blackmailed in a new job with vaccination.
I wonder how many people on this forum have done all that? Because HP Cobra likes to write about anonymous heroes fighting jewtrix (
„Once In A Lifetime Opportunity: Working For Satan and The Powers Of Hell” topic). I put my face and name to the fight.
The result: in vain I asked, in vain I told everything to Satan, didn't help.
I've been a prepper for 2,5 years
and I had a clear idea of how to prepare before Hungary collapses like Argentina. I'm writing this because Henu told me I wouldn't know what to do with the money. :roll: You can't imagine what we have here: 2,5 euro for bread (1000 HUF out of 133.000 minimum wage) and the gypsies are already hunting because their welfare has not increased. From September, the government will abolish the cuts in rationing, and then the total subsidy on rationing. I don't know how we will pay for gas, electricity etc in winter. I repeat: being forward thinking, I had my plans in place to prepare.
I did not want survival as a free gift. All I needed was the only help: to get hired at the job where I interviewed so well. Instead, I now wait in helpless dread for winter to come in a few months and what will happen to my elderly parents, the dog and cat, and me. And the only person important to me, to whom I could give security if I had achieved anything in my life.
The thinker who has influenced me most in my life so far has been Emile Cioran. Now that I'd lost everything with this failed job opportunity - all the signs were that I was going to be hired - I was "reassured". The greatest famine in modern history is coming, which is not a "scenario" but a reality of history and the structure of the world economy. I envy Henu for wanting to stop it with vibrations, but neither vibrations nor fences, nor armed border guards will stop it, because that is not his nature. It is another matter that few on this forum understand these processes. In case I survive the times ahead, I console myself with Cioran's thought: in my old age, suicide will still be a theoretical possibility. Before I'm slaughtered as a defenceless target by the gypsies, who by then will have flooded Hungary like a biological weapon. (I explained this in more detail here: https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=40687&p=269535#p269535
A word that may be unfamiliar to you:
pragmatism. It means that what one person personally experiences does not work, one no longer puts energy into. And
time out of the very little time he has in a day.
You're trying to pull something on me that suggests I'm against you. But then you didn't read the first post of this topic.
And I said to Satan:
I do not deny Spiritual Satanism and I do not "retract" my initiation. Unlike many, I have indeed researched and found many, many new connections from JoS's writings. I am not just repeating what I have read.
But I have told Satan - and now I am telling you - that
I cannot continue. Not long after I told Satan all about my situation, I was called in for that interview. I thought it was His help. That job would have meant the world to me. Of course I know that when I applied for the job, I could have done a 40-day energetic work. But I've never done anything like that before, I'm glad I started the FRTR and KT. And I didn't take it seriously, I'm so rarely invited for interviews.
The point is that for me, it was the last straw. I've struggled a lot and I'm tired. During the epidemic circus, with lockdowns and job insecurity, I took gigantic state exams -
for nothing. (Accompanied by OCD and fucking tinnitus.) And I've been completely alone for years, with no real relationship with anyone.
I agree with the SS-road, and I don't deny. I quit because I can't do it anymore. I can't do it, I've run out of energy. Of course, in my initiation I promised not to make any reservations and not to expect any help. Nevertheless, I received
a lot of help. But it would be unfair of me to hide my doubts and insecurities like a xian. Or hide the fact that I was needed this job like a bite of bread. And I don't know how I will go to work tomorrow. And why should I go in when the minimum wage is worth almost nothing in Hungary. Of course Henu says I want a cake slice. But I just wanted to stock up on tinned food and the like for my loved ones, and of course for myself. And buy some clothes so I could wear something when I went to work.
But I don't want anything anymore. All I ask of Satan is that if I have earned it by my actions so far, he will protect the few people and animals that are important to me.
![Blitzkreig [JG]](/data/avatars/m/21/21286.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
