I need answers, srry 4 vent hehe

[Malorú Martínez]

To fully understand what I want to explain you would need a little context, but this is very long...

More than a year ago, I met a person with whom I fell in love. I was having a very bad time In my life, although I did not know Satanism as such, I did not like the church my parents took me to. This person told me that things also happened at home that made him feel bad. I was very empathetic with this person, as I felt that in addition to the Christianity we had to endure, we had too shitty parents. So this person invited me to leave my house as a minor. Honestly, I caused all kinds of problems for my parents by reporting things that they had not even done to me. I was really in love and I could have sworn I would have done anything to see him smile.While I was away from home I entered Satanism thanks to tiktok, but not specifically JoSM. That person gave me many PDFs, in which there was one from JoS on how to invoke the Gods. Although I didn't call any of them and I still didn't know the JoS site, I became fond of Father Satan. After spending time away from home and even going hungry, I reflected on what I had done to my parents and decided to return. I invited this person to my house, just because they were a couple. Upon my return my parents were a little more understanding about a lot of things (not about Satanism, in fact I'm supposed to have left it), and among all those things they considered my relationship with this person. Out of nowhere, this person wrote to me little or nothing, in a very disinterested and sometimes cold way, which hurt me but I didn't tell him. One day, he didn't even greet me, that made me angry and I asked him everything about his attitudes and if I had done something to make him be like that to me. And he left me.

That was the most painful thing that happened to me in my life.

To this day I am still very bad, in fact, I had changed schools so as not to see him anymore. But when he found out, he went to my school with me, and he lied about me doing a lot of bad things against him (and still does to this day). Some time before he moved to my school I met JoS Thanks for continuing reading that PDF. It happened not long ago, back in March or April. I haven't been doing my meditation for long, more than two months and I started working against him, but not to hurt him but to make him fall in love with me and obey me, with the aim of clearing my name and getting rid of some of the stress caused by seeing him lying worse than a Jew.

It seemed long, sorry.

The point is, I haven't been meditating for long and I'm still working on opening my first chakra, will it work? I know I shouldn't think about it But it's a very frustrating situation, I'm still trying to heal myself emotionally. And another thing, do you think I should have done other work for this? Should I have done more meditation time before starting? Sometimes I feel alone and I don't tell anyone about this, yeah I feel like they can use it against me like he did, is there a God who wants to listen to me? I know you have more important things to do, but can my guardian demon hear me? Or should I just continue like this? I Don't know.

A while ago, I spoke with Aim/Aini/Harborym, I ignorantly called him before making my dedication or speaking to Father Satan, but he still answered me. He told me that I should continue working on my meditation and that I would achieve my revenge, I asked him if he could burn down this person's house hehe. But he told me no, that that job was mine.

Beyond that, what interests me most is to know if there is something that can help me cope with my impulsive and destructive emotions so as not to use them against myself, since just by thinking I hurt myself. If there is someone who can listen to my frustrations and more.

Sorry this is so long, Meanwhile i wrote this i vent hehe.

Thnxs 4 read, Sorry for my English, it's not very good at all.

 

[Voice of Enki [JG]]

I understand this person has hurt you and there are a lot of unresolved emotions due to this. However, doing the kind of working you are doing is not worth it. It won't help you heal from this situation, and it will waste a ton of energy and emotions.

Just do a dethatching working from this person and grow past this, leave them behind, don't let them occupy your mind or heart because they are not worth your time or energy in any way. You should do the returning curses meditation daily to remove any negative ties and energy send your way from all sources, including this person. Return all the hurt he has inflicted and the trouble caused back to him, and leave it be after that, detach completely and move past this completely, go your own way and remove him from your mind and life.

The way you found the Joy of Satan through seemingly a "coincidence" is very common for most SS, most of us will find the JoS through similar "coincidences" and be lead here by the Gods through these things in order to find the True path our soul needs. Don't let other insignificant things impede you in the path, focus instead on yourself and your personal growth and advancement, mentally and spiritually.

You will find proper people to love and who will love you in life, don't get hung up over the first bastard that played with your heart. Let him be and live his life away from you, out of your sight and out of your mind, while you rise through life and grow past these petty things to find real love and live a meaningful life.

 

[Imhotep]

What Voice of Enki wrote was also my first thought after reading your report. This immature boy is simply not worth all this effort on your part. Leave him behind and don't make any effort to be with him again. You'll only hurt yourself more and more. Instead, cleanse your aura and protect your aura. And yes, your guardian demon hears you, just like Father Satan. They know your situation better than you can imagine. Intuitively, I even felt immediately that if you leave this immature fellow, you will clear the way for the young one you really deserve and who is definitely better suited to you. Just work on yourself more and meditate regularly. Everything else will gradually fall into place for you.

I just remembered this saying, which may sound funny, but there is something to it: "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your true prince". I wish you, of course, that Father Satan places the person in your life who will then be your "prince" the very next time you have a boy.

Hail Satan!
Hail Lucifer!
Hail Wotan!