I tried replying to you yesterday, but that doesn't seem to have gone through. That's fine with me since what I wrote was just some nonsensical, sleepy rambling about my inability to make sense of some ethical dilemmas, but I'd still like to reply to you properly.
In particular, I wanted to ask you: for people who heavily prefer partners of the same sex but also have a strong child wish, what do you think is the "right" course of action? I can think of some examples of "solutions", but all of them seem rather flawed to me.
- Repressing the child wish.
- Looking for a way to change their sexual preferences and orientation.
- Having and raising children with an undesirable partner of the opposite sex.
- Looking for another outlet to satisfy their child wish without actually having children.
- Having children with someone of the same sex artificially with the help of medical and/or technological advancements.
- Changing their sex completely (if it were possible) in order to have children with someone who was previously of the same sex.
I know it's not a very important topic as it doesn't apply to many people, and it may well be an unsolvable problem; but sometimes when people like the person who posted this thread open up about their feelings, it makes me wonder if there isn't some kind of convenient solution that is being overlooked. There was a guy who asked about it back in January too (if there can be a way for him to have children even if he's not sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex), and he was told that he shouldn't dwell too much on things that aren't possible and that gays shouldn't raise children.
I used to think that sometimes suffering is simply unavoidable in life and that people should just try to make the best of a bad situation. But lately I've started to think a bit differently: that suffering can be avoided and that every problem can be overcome, and that you just need to figure out how; that there is always a positive way to deal with any situation.
But hearing about issues like this makes me wonder whether or not that is really the case. Can everything really be solved if you simply know what to do? Or are there problems that truly can't be overcome, that will stay with someone for the rest of their existence? Issues that can only be coped with, not truly solved?
In the end questions like this don't really matter that much, as time forces people into action or inaction, and there's not always time to consider everything, leading people to simply do whatever they see fit in the moment based on all sorts of whimsical reasons. Unfortunately, this can lead to all sort of rash decisions, and in some cases even suicide; all because people don't know better.
Regardless, if you have any thoughts on this topic, I would be interested in hearing them as your perspective might satisfy me intellectually. But if it's not very interesting to you or the topic is too complicated, then I understand and you don't have to reply.
On a side note, the same question might also apply to heterosexual men and women who are infertile, for example due to a subtle intersex condition that affects hormone regulation or causes chromosomal problems. I wonder how they cope with it?
I still like to think that there exists a better solution out there than simply coping with things, that you can truly overcome such things if you're creative and determined enough; but not everyone is capable of something like that, and it also depends on the specific circumstances. It may still be insightful to see how people usually deal with such situations.