How to break a delusion in regards to spirituality

[Solider of suns]

Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to read.
I get frustrated and feel blocked in my thinking like my mind isn’t free and is trapped inside a delusion. The delusion is that I must not think certain thoughts like rude thoughts directed to the gods even though I can’t help it or thoughts about Christianity or Christ. I don’t actually believe in Christ but my subconscious does. I feel very strangled in my mind and feel guilty and not quite as free as I would like to be. I know it’s a delusion but it can at times be hard to break. Any suggestions on how I could overcome my fear of being rude to the gods and overcoming the fear that I may connect or go back to Christianity in some sense. I know there just thoughts but they seem magnified and important.

Thank you. Btw I’m schizophrenic!

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

One of the most effective ways to correct the inside pull to get back to xianity, is reading the JoS again and again, mainly Exposing Xianity chapter.
As an add-on: you have been brainwashed as a child, most likely, with xian garbage. So if you can study the correct religion of Satanist "like you are that kid", for example in the same room or with a similar desk, chair, or color of clothes like your childhood, this speeds up the process. But you can simply read. I think I read the whole JoS at least 6/7 times.

 

[Solider of suns]

Thanks dude!