How do i get rid of my xian mindset...?

[saraniachalmia]

I lost my older brother, the only real family ive ever had, two years ago. He was murdered, according to the police as the initiation to a gang. It was supposedly a random act of gang violence..... but anyways.. for a long time the only thing that got me through his death was the fact that he was in "heaven" and no longer suffering. My brother was a great person, but completely christian. The only thing not christian about him was the fact that he was gay... But i beleived that since he was such a good person, caring kindhearted and loving to any and every creature that his one "impurity" would be forgiven and he would be happy in his afterlife. I've recently become fully aware of the truth, and i have committed myself to the left hand path, but i still catch myself looking at old pictures and praying my brother is in heaven. I still look on in contempt at the people who murdered him and wish they would go to hell. My mindset has not changed subconciously at all. How do i get rid of this thinking? And... I know its not going to be what i want for him... but can anyone tell me where my brother DID go?
signed,
Sarania

 

[nightfoxx666]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "saraniachalmia" <saraniachalmia@... wrote:

I lost my older brother, the only real family ive ever had, two years ago. He was murdered, according to the police as the initiation to a gang. It was supposedly a random act of gang violence..... but anyways.. for a long time the only thing that got me through his death was the fact that he was in "heaven" and no longer suffering. My brother was a great person, but completely christian. The only thing not christian about him was the fact that he was gay... But i beleived that since he was such a good person, caring kindhearted and loving to any and every creature that his one "impurity" would be forgiven and he would be happy in his afterlife. I've recently become fully aware of the truth, and i have committed myself to the left hand path, but i still catch myself looking at old pictures and praying my brother is in heaven. I still look on in contempt at the people who murdered him and wish they would go to hell. My mindset has not changed subconciously at all. How do i get rid of this thinking? And... I know its not going to be what i want for him... but can anyone tell me where my brother DID go?
signed,
Sarania

It takes time, Don't worry, I had it, And alot of people had it, It took me about a year to get over the christian concept because its been programmed into you since your birth

 

[[email protected]]

<td val[/IMG]I think if you are a Satanist, you get to stay with Satan in Hell(our version of Hell is not a burn for all of eternity because you do not obey the slavedriver kind of thing), or maybe get reincarnated or something like that.  I'm not entirely sure, so don't just assume this is the best answer.

--- On Sun, 4/12/09, saraniachalmia <saraniachalmia@... wrote:

From: saraniachalmia <saraniachalmia@...
Subject: [Teens4Satan] How do i get rid of my xian mindset...?
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, April 12, 2009, 6:30 PM

I lost my older brother, the only real family ive ever had, two years ago. He was murdered, according to the police as the initiation to a gang. It was supposedly a random act of gang violence.... . but anyways.. for a long time the only thing that got me through his death was the fact that he was in "heaven" and no longer suffering. My brother was a great person, but completely christian. The only thing not christian about him was the fact that he was gay... But i beleived that since he was such a good person, caring kindhearted and loving to any and every creature that his one "impurity" would be forgiven and he would be happy in his afterlife. I've recently become fully aware of the truth, and i have committed myself to the left hand path, but i still catch myself looking at old pictures and praying my brother is in heaven. I still look on in contempt at the people who murdered him and wish they would go to hell. My mindset has not changed subconciously at all. How do i get rid of this thinking? And... I know its not going to be what i want for him... but can anyone tell me where my brother DID go?
signed,
Sarania

[/TD]