I dedicated my soul to Satan about a year ago now, but I haven’t been able to steadily meditate since then. I’ve had major struggles with motivation for doing just about anything for years, plus I’m very forgetful and it’s hard to remember to meditate in the first place. I feel like part of this struggle with mediation in particular comes from the fact that I used to be an atheist who wanted proof of everything, so it’s difficult to convince myself that these have such major positive effects.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m loyal to Satan and I can definitely feel the difference when I do meditate, but there’s always this nagging thought in the back of my head trying to tell me it’s just placebo. Basically, I want to prove that annoying doubt wrong once and for all by finally getting to talk to Satan, or any demon.
I assume that getting to that point requires putting lots of effort into Satanism, so I feel like I’m stuck in some sort of loop; my lack of motivation prevents me from reaching my full potential and my unfulfilled potential prevents me from getting motivation. Does anyone have any advice?
(Note: I’m trying not to think negatively of the situation since I’ve read plenty of times here how that makes it so much, but depression makes motivation so hard to achieve. That’s why I’m thinking of it as an obstacle I can overcome, even if I can’t seem to convince myself I’m doing fine)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m loyal to Satan and I can definitely feel the difference when I do meditate, but there’s always this nagging thought in the back of my head trying to tell me it’s just placebo. Basically, I want to prove that annoying doubt wrong once and for all by finally getting to talk to Satan, or any demon.
I assume that getting to that point requires putting lots of effort into Satanism, so I feel like I’m stuck in some sort of loop; my lack of motivation prevents me from reaching my full potential and my unfulfilled potential prevents me from getting motivation. Does anyone have any advice?
(Note: I’m trying not to think negatively of the situation since I’ve read plenty of times here how that makes it so much, but depression makes motivation so hard to achieve. That’s why I’m thinking of it as an obstacle I can overcome, even if I can’t seem to convince myself I’m doing fine)