Help with understanding feelings for particular God

[Coibius]

This post is a bit strange for me to type out as I have had these feelings for years now but I'm hoping that those more advanced in Demon relations could point me in the right direction. My psychic centers are not open at all. I rely on intuition and gut feelings when speaking to the Gods. I also have reason to believe this God isn't my GD but I could be wrong.

I have read the sections on the Gods multiple times but there is one particular God that strikes a chord in me. Just imaging their sigil, their name fills me with indescribable emotions. A mix of admiration, respect, love, gratitude(?). If I focus long enough I even get feelings of bliss and extreme comfort. Not sure if this is blasphemous to state but I feel more strongly for this God than even Father Satan himself. I always go to Father Satan for everything though as I don't know my GD and I hate the idea of going to this special God for assistance. I have this churning feeling that I want them to see me in the best possible light. So I avoid going to them in my times of need.

Of course I am not expecting anyone to answer for me on my own feelings, but if someone has felt something similar I would like to discuss it. I have already asked Father Satan about it but haven't come to terms with anything concrete yet. I am assuming I am not open enough yet.

 

[DarkPagan666]

....

You obviously have a very strong past connection to the God/Demon you feel positive feelings for. This is extremely positive and a strong indication that the Demon is contacting you, trying to reach out.

Why do you think he/she is not your GD? It really could be. Though, I have strong connection to other Demons who are not my GD too, but this is also partly because of their powerful emotions that is often felt upon contact.

Regardless, you should reach back out to that Demon and get to know him/her more by vibrating the Demons' name while visualizing upon his/her sigil (if present).

 

[Gabriel Lamb]

You dont want to share which God it is?

 

[DarkPagan666]

I failed to mention that you have a high way of thinking. Your heart is in the correct place. Satan and the Demons and Demonesses are extremely understanding, much beyond of what we are able to fathom. As it is a Demon(ess) of Satan, then there is no issue in establishing close bonds with them.

Do not be scared of drifting away from Satan because you feel a stronger connection to another Demon(ess). Doing Satan's ritual, focusing upon Satans sigil and talking to Him are things that connects you to Him. You can do this every day. Your relationship between you and Satan is between you two, and no one else. You can as well tell Satan all of your concerns or particular concerns, of which you will only be met with understanding. Be not afraid, we have the kindest and most understanding God.

Work upon your soul and in due time you will open up. Be strong in yourself and have patience.

 

[Coibius]

You dont want to share which God it is?

I wanted the focus to be on my personal feelings towards the God and not who the God is per say. I hope my post doesn't come off as disingenuous because of this.


I tried to vibrate their name before while focusing on the sigil but was met with a ton of negativity, courtesy of either dirt in my soul or the enemy of course. I am quite a bit cleaner now so I'll try this again.

I have doubts of them being my GD based on a GD guide thread that was posted a few years back. It mentioned how your GD is normally tied to how your soul is charted, elemental composition, your sex, etc. I don't remember every detail but a few points indicted that they likely weren't my GD. Secondly, some members at the time expressed how certain Gods weren't anyone's GD due to their roles in Hell, this God in particular was listed. A lot of my main reasons are definitely outdated so maybe I should reconsider the idea.

I'll contact Satan and them more. I honestly have been slacking in connecting with the Gods. Thanks for the push forward.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

This god wants to help you.

 

[Coibius]

This god wants to help you.

Yet I've been avoiding the help cause I didn't want to seem pathetic in front of them. Now I just feel silly. . .