Olivia said:
I know that for some this problem seems stupid, but unfortunately I'm facing this. And I'm not a dumb person. It happens that I do not know every time how to start a conversation. Or sometimes it happens that I have a good conversation with someone and then I say a thing and I feel like I've ruined everything.
Just like stormblood said ,you could do all the squares. However just a mantra 9 times with daily witchcraft on the aura can make a huge difference. Good affirmations "In a healthy and positive manner I'm effortlessly socializing with healthy non toxic people who are good for". Or. " In a healthy and positive manner im having the social life i always desired."something along those lines. You get the idea.
The conversation flows along a specific path. There's Open,Rapport and stabilization. When you strike up a conversation with someone ,your first statement that comes out of your mouth should be situational. Don't go to some and start like "Roses are red,violets are blue. I don't know about you, but I would like to.". That's just creepy. Your opener should be situational in the sense it must be connected to the person and Dependant on the situation. For example if there's someone beside you checking out books, you could say, " This is an awesome book I read. What books do you like." Following with the answer "Oh wow. I like that too (or) nah. Its not my forte. " Or in a flower shop,"That bouqet would look nice on you." Or in a coffee shop."Hey have you tried this one ? Seems very tasty to me." I'm just giving you an idea. Observation and experience helps come up with situational openers instantly.
The next is the introduction smile and give out your hand for a handshake saying "Hi my names Olivia. What's yours".
The next stage is rapport which consists of talking about things you find in common. Now look at how he/she is dressed and how he/she behaves. If he/she is dressed exposing too much skin or is confident in their appearance and are constantly open and holding eye contact, theyre socially secure,most probably they are the outgoing type and topics about parties/relationships/clubs/outdoor activities/ etc are going to stick. If she/he seems nerdy and shy closed off and breaks eye contact,closes off the body language, she's socially insecure and nerdy topics and or educated topics/conspiracy theories/computers/apps etc. There are a range of people and you must observe them to see what category they fall into. Personal experience helps. Once you've had many interactions and you pay attention to what's happening, youll easily figure out what to say when,where you are in stage of the interaction and what type of person your talking to. Personal experience is key.
Next is stabilization before which you should take his/her number and eject. Saying "you seem cool and I'd like to hang out with you again. So give me your number while giving he/she your phone. " Don't make the mistake of asking for the number. Like "Ummm. Can I have your number.... ?". Don't do that shit.
Next time you hang out follow the same process just eliminate the introduction part, obviously. This time you have to get to know him/her so that a concrete friendship can be established. This is stabilization of the relationship. Get to know her/his life,the things that happened in their life. Listen to their stories and share yours. Have the ability to say no. Don't do things for people always that you don't Want to. If they constantly ask for something without giving anything, they're toxic. Stay tf away from toxic people. And don't take my advice and become a robot. This is a clutch to help you get started socializing. After many interactions you won't need to think about all this. It'll just happen. Stay away from losers. Those who sit around in their moms basement or just watch Netflix all day or stay on the net all day. Have a life,go places ,see things ,interact,have experiences, be someone, have views and ethics and stay strong to them. Stay away from toxic,controlling people too.
Hope I helped.
