Phenix_rising666
New member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2021
- Messages
- 18
Since highschool and even before highschool i had many enemies and people who resented me. Simply for just being different ( everyone was into rap and the gangster life i was a metal head) I minded my own business but some how ran into conflict not with just a single person but groups of them. It really effected my mental health and every time i stood my ground it angered them even more. Like i should just take the abuse. On top of that i had a abusive father who constantly beat my mom infront of me and my sister. My anger and hatred only grow over the years and ive been jumped by groups of people during a soccer game i had to run for my life. Going into highschool i had a optimistic approch and only wanted peace and some connecting with like minded people. But instead i ran into the same kind of people except these people were new and never meet before. There was 2 people that constantly harassed me during class with physical abuse. Told the teacher but he did jack shit and the abuse continues when his back was turned. They throw things at me threats were thrown as serious as they would break into my home and telling anyone would make it worse. Eventually after 2 years i said fuck this and left the school. I felt major relief and forgot about them for while. But then one day on my way to work i saw one of them on my bus and just minded my own business but while tired and leaning my head toward the wall of the bus, he decided to sit opposite side of the wall and rammed his knee at his stop bouncing my head. This filled me with emmense rage i wanted him to pay. The next day i gave him the evil and smiled and cursed him, he looked away in fear. The next day a random person I never meet before told me he wants to stab me. Just looked him and walked away. Shortly later that day i heard a group of people screaming infront of my home to come out, i just ignored them and said a prayer of protection to satan. A few years later coming to this year 2021. I for some reason still had rage over this. My life has gotten better especially after leaving the life with my father. But memories that cause truma are very difficult to let go. It made me think why me? Is it my natal chart? Is it my past life karma? What have I done to deserve this? Around January I saw one of the 2 people in highschool at a local plaza and he waited for me to come out of the store and honked at me in his car just giving me a evil eye like a message unspoken. I right away figured these people have not let things go since the past and resent me... I also thought did i see one of them again because of my dwelling? Funny enough i saw him two day later except the roles were reversed. I was outside and saw him in the store and he noticed me. I immediately activted my solar plexus and was ready for physical confrontation. He noticed this and left the store from what could appear in fear because instead of approching me he called someone on the phone. I later did grey magic and cursed him timing it with the moon. I also spoke with close friends about this situation with these 2 people and allot of them said to let go and forgive them and send them love. To me this was absurd. Why and how can someone forgive when they wish you to be harmed or worse. These people from what i remember were trying to be in a "gang" they worship the crime life and hate the police thinking they are untouchable and have the right to inflict pain. Im just wondering what anyone thinks about this because I've had deep rage and resentment these people and hate the thought they can get away scot free. And is forgiveness the right way of dealing with this because ive been on gaurd with just the fact of watching my back or carrying pepper spray just going out of my home. Or should i continue cursing them in magic while making a aura of protection.