Dealing with overwhelming desire

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

So I will keep this as simple as possible.

I haven't posted here in a while since my spiritual journey has led me towards Buddhism and in that sense, complete detachment in anything other than the goal of escaping Samsara.

Looking back at JoS, the desires I had and the mistakes I made like we all do, brings feelings of unimportance in the eyes of Satan, a common theme shared by newer spiritual go'ers I noticed on the forums.

Why doesn't he help me astral project when he knows It's so important to me?

Why haven't I been able to lucid dream like when I was young despite my prayers?

Why am I constantly attacked despite having good faith in the old gods?

Why are my prayers ignored no better than Christ?

The desire is constantly there and can feel unanswered.

These are things I see many newer Satanist experience, I personally have a hard time coming back to the Gods after experiencing detachment but then you see how bad things are in day to day life, it makes me wonder.

Now when I think of my old desires I just feel a fire that I so to speak, let go off.

They no longer control me but I still have that feeling in my heart that I'm still worth it.

Satan has done wonderful things for me, and I'm sure others feel the same, how would one come back to (without sounding christiany) faith?

So to sum this up, I'm having a hard time with the "Gods" atm..

despite knowing the evil of the Jew,

Buddhism and just letting go has been more beneficial mentally and spiritually, than clinging to old gods in hope things will improve..

I would like to have more faith but I just can't see it happening.. I will always be aware of the evil of the jew in the world but to cling to spiritual gain seems more like a dream than desire itself..

Does that make sense? I have respect for the old Gods and such but every day I draw away but a little part of me holds on, knowing we are all worth it.

I'm sure more experienced members have faced things like this but I now have a hard time even working on my Chakras, if I'm meditating it's void and complete with no attachment to an outcome and things like chakra work or aura seem to conflict with me as they are things you cling to.

Hopefully this didn't come out disrespectful as JoS has done so much for me, I would just hate to let go without an answer, cheers!

 

[Henu the Great]

We are supposed to develop our skills and evolve by doing so instead of asking for handouts. Or worse, seeking detachment that would eventually not lead a path to Godhood, but to the opposite direction. Detaching can be a useful skill at command, but it is not healthy to be detached all the time and want that to happen. For a moment, think about where this want to detach comes from. It sounds like you want to avoid the required work needed to evolve to the next level.

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

How much have you meditated to get these natural things? How much have you trained?

There is food in your plate and your are extremely hungry. Then you refuse to eat, because supposedly another being must come and place food in your mouth.

Bring your fire back and get to work. It is worth it to achieve these by yourself so that you "realize your self" as a building block for the higher ideals of SS.

 

[Havoc]

So I will keep this as simple as possible.

I haven't posted here in a while since my spiritual journey has led me towards Buddhism and in that sense, complete detachment in anything other than the goal of escaping Samsara.

Looking back at JoS, the desires I had and the mistakes I made like we all do, brings feelings of unimportance in the eyes of Satan, a common theme shared by newer spiritual go'ers I noticed on the forums.

Why doesn't he help me astral project when he knows It's so important to me?

Why haven't I been able to lucid dream like when I was young despite my prayers?

Why am I constantly attacked despite having good faith in the old gods?

Why are my prayers ignored no better than Christ?

The desire is constantly there and can feel unanswered.

These are things I see many newer Satanist experience, I personally have a hard time coming back to the Gods after experiencing detachment but then you see how bad things are in day to day life, it makes me wonder.

Now when I think of my old desires I just feel a fire that I so to speak, let go off.

They no longer control me but I still have that feeling in my heart that I'm still worth it.

Satan has done wonderful things for me, and I'm sure others feel the same, how would one come back to (without sounding christiany) faith?

So to sum this up, I'm having a hard time with the "Gods" atm..

despite knowing the evil of the Jew,

Buddhism and just letting go has been more beneficial mentally and spiritually, than clinging to old gods in hope things will improve..

I would like to have more faith but I just can't see it happening.. I will always be aware of the evil of the jew in the world but to cling to spiritual gain seems more like a dream than desire itself..

Does that make sense? I have respect for the old Gods and such but every day I draw away but a little part of me holds on, knowing we are all worth it.

I'm sure more experienced members have faced things like this but I now have a hard time even working on my Chakras, if I'm meditating it's void and complete with no attachment to an outcome and things like chakra work or aura seem to conflict with me as they are things you cling to.

Hopefully this didn't come out disrespectful as JoS has done so much for me, I would just hate to let go without an answer, cheers!

I’m glad that you decided to post this because the closest I’ve ever felt to the Gods was not when I was worshiping them but when I went looking for answers and received guidance. Wanting to know just who the Gods are is where one has to start, devotion is a consequence of having a relationship with them.

As for what you are doing spiritually there is merit to seeing freedom from the heavy negative things in life. I think you’ve made progress. Releasing oneself from desires and compulsions is librating. I think you’re not able to get the most out of your spiritual practices because you don’t have the right mindset about them, Aura cleaning is about burning away the negative karma (bad memories habits or desires that get in the way of you being joyful.) Aura of protection is about keeping harmful sad things from entering your soul. Healing debilitated chakras or working to fix your astrology liberates you from negative influences. So these things are here to help you make your journey faster not take you away from it.

Taking away the heavy stuff feels good but a Relationship with the Gods is like adding things lighter that air to your soul, it should liberate you to fly beyond what simply leaving an empty cavity would do, after emptying my soul of the garbage I don’t want in it nothing is better then filling the empty space with the love of the Gods.

I’ve noticed something when I freed myself from an unhealthy desire I had. I used to be very depressed and tell myself if I just got this one thing everything will be ok, life will be perfect and I will escape my nightmare, the Gods convinced me that what I actually wanted was something totally different that I was confused and gave me an alternative that was far better. When I gave up on my original goal and set a new healthier one all of the sadness misery and despair that I thought would only go away if I got what I wanted was gone. I felt like I had wings and that filth had washed off of me.

The problem I find with Buddhism is that the life and Joy denying pessimism that are necessary to take that path can be heavy like the desires you’re trying to escape.

Hinduisms has a couple of beautiful ideas in it I’d like you to consider, the dancing Gods and the thousand armed Davi. The Gods being depicted as dancers illustrates that they are not always serious stone faced lords but light and free from anything that would prevent them from spontaneous Joy a goal the spiritual seeker should have, the thousand arms symbolizes the fact that they can reach out and touch all of our lives simultaneously and that one should never feel unimportant, in fact Satan is spiritually with us at all times watching over all of us all he is the one who should feel unimportant when you don’t take the time to talk to him do not fear you’re father, we use this language for a reason.

 

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

...

I would do void meditation for an hour or two in the morning and then the same again at night before sleep but do admit I get overwhelming feelings of fatigue when trying to do anything else like charka work for example.

I used to get very lucid dreams years ago and could get to close states of astral projection (like the vibration stage) but now it seems impossible despite attempting almost every night while in that wake-sleep state after meditating.

I feel a giant fatigue spiritually due to all the failure I guess, and it has had effect on my willpower but at the same time I don't let those desires control me to an extreme but it can get to me at times.

...

Thank you and funny enough, I got thoughts of Shiva after posting this and going to bed which was odd because Hinduism was not on my mind at all and it was before seeing these posts. It was a nice little pick me up I guess, to know that they care.

I suppose I let my emotions get the best of me and tend to push away desires at times rather than skillfully accepting them and letting them pass which is probably the dangers of Buddism, practicing it wrong or unskillfully.

I think it's because I've experienced crazy awakenings when I was young around 10 years ago but wasn't as skilled as now so freaked out and now that I feel I could deal with those abilities much easier, they seem to have gone and I feel an emptiness of sorts now.

Maybe I should make peace with that emptiness than chasing something that isn't guaranteed to come back?

 

[Havoc]

...

I would do void meditation for an hour or two in the morning and then the same again at night before sleep but do admit I get overwhelming feelings of fatigue when trying to do anything else like charka work for example.

I used to get very lucid dreams years ago and could get to close states of astral projection (like the vibration stage) but now it seems impossible despite attempting almost every night while in that wake-sleep state after meditating.

I feel a giant fatigue spiritually due to all the failure I guess, and it has had effect on my willpower but at the same time I don't let those desires control me to an extreme but it can get to me at times.

...

Thank you and funny enough, I got thoughts of Shiva after posting this and going to bed which was odd because Hinduism was not on my mind at all and it was before seeing these posts. It was a nice little pick me up I guess, to know that they care.

I suppose I let my emotions get the best of me and tend to push away desires at times rather than skillfully accepting them and letting them pass which is probably the dangers of Buddism, practicing it wrong or unskillfully.

I think it's because I've experienced crazy awakenings when I was young around 10 years ago but wasn't as skilled as now so freaked out and now that I feel I could deal with those abilities much easier, they seem to have gone and I feel an emptiness of sorts now.

Maybe I should make peace with that emptiness than chasing something that isn't guaranteed to come back?

If you're having intrusive thoughts of Satan, then he's watching you and sending energy that energy manifests itself as intrusive thoughts. They do care about you it's just that you don't have a strong bound with them so how are they supposed to guide you thought something as advanced as astral projecting? It can happen for you, you're not rejected by the Gods but you gotta be linked up for that to happen.

Freeing yourself of desires and expectations is a good start. Rather than going to the Gods expecting them to grant your wishes and act a way that you Invision them in your head it's best to come to them wanting to know them and being receptive to what they want to do with you, Being free of desires means that your happy about whatever happens next. Rather than expecting something and being disappointed your full of wonder and ready for things to happen.

Rather than being like a selfish lover expecting to lay back and let them to do everything try to take the initiative and send them a message back? It's a give and take relationship you can't just call when you want something. Get an alter and make it pretty if you don't have one and then give them a little bit of food whenever you eat, an advanced method is not to just slap the food on the plate and give it to them, that's rude. Visualize yourself putting the food into their mouth like they're a Roman king and you're their servant, they love that. If you are free of the desire to eat good food then Imagin that you're sending the experience of eating to them or listen to music and let them hear the sounds.

Sometimes when I let them take over me, I can just sit there and breath thinking of how nice it feels and how luxurious it is to have as much free air as I want. Think of what they would like rather than what you want and they will guide you to nice experiences. This is what it's like being free of desire. Shrinking the ego is effortless when I am with the Gods beholding their majesty especially when you are of the opinion that everything is ok, things will be aright, and you are in trusted hands. If you intend to do so without a relationship with the Gods it's difficult/impossible. The monks spend decades in the wilderness trying to achieve this, You can't be free of desire while there is so much wrong in the world and so much wrong in yourself, you'll just be filled with an overwhelming desire to ether get better or escape all the time and you'll never be free.