an impasse in my relationship, physical and spiritual.

[Isisd]

I can't get past the fact that my girlfriend not only has losen her virginity to someone else, but also has slept with three different guys before me (while knowing me). We've been together for almost a year, everything is fine, she says she loves me and I love her for sure, and there isn't even the slightest problem. But there's this constant needle in my head, and when i reflect about it I feel sick in my stomach. I even threw up once. And I think I feel it so deeply because she is the first woman I've ever had sex with. I valued myself and my body so much that I've only allowed myself to have sex with the one woman I truly ever loved: her.
I also think about the fact that I couldn't physically have sex with another woman I don't love, even if I wanted to, out of lust and nothing else. I know that we aren't all made the same and each individual feels things differently and with different intensity, but I can't get past this feeling, and sometimes I even don't want to get past it, like that's not what I'm meant to do. I feel that this situation is also influencing my spiritual progress. Maybe there's a bigger lesson I have to learn (no, I'm sure there is), but I don't know where to start. I seriously want to learn and advance. During the first month of the relationship, I felt sick while having sex with her, thinking she had other men on her, and had to stop. She comprehended my feeling and never criticized me for it. She even tried to help me and always told me that those men are in the past et cetera. I feel like she really loves me as well. But I, again, after all these months, can't get past it. And I need this gone, maybe someone here can help me.

 

[HadesWithin666]

I used to be just like you on this one.

I've had a few virgin woman's and none have remained with me until the end so just because I was the first, it means nothing for many.

My father always regretted that when she took my mother, she wasn't a virgin but look, here I am now in the present and they been together for 30 years now.

With time and maturity you will be more at ease of such thing and also, put it this way, would you be mad if she would had sex in her previous life with other men? The exact same thing applies in the present time (your both current actual life times), it's respectable of her that she's trying to help you and make you understand some things, that means she cares and loved you, don't fuck it up just because of the past. For as long as she haven't given you any reasons or thoughts of cheating ( careful not to form your own delusions), because this is what usually happens when one goes trough this stage of understanding this lesson of life.

Just enjoy every moment with her, live the present, think about how the future would look like and what shall be done to achieve that, fuck the past. If the lady wants you and who knows maybe even establish a family later one, then why would you stop.

 

[Karnonnos [JG]]

A lot of people, particularly men and teenage boys, put a high premium on virginity and that is just part of one's tastes. It's really not easy to alter this feeling if one has heavy water or earth element and inclines to being possessive: wanting to be one with somebody else. Knowing the men involved also can sour things. Men are highly competitive with lives of exterior danger. A lot of men, especially young boys, need the basic fundament of that type of monogamy to feel secure. That remains the truth, regardless of how sex-liberation people scrutinize this alone as backward and patriarchal.

As HPHC said before, it wasn't even particularly common to find individuals with an official 'body count' (yes, I am aware things like widespread abuse and rape occurred, and a lot of people also lied prolifically) prior to the 1950s.

On the other hand, if you gain more awareness, you will begin to understand why people desire companionship and sex, why those you are with are not 'perfect', and so on and so forth. This girl is a product of her time and circumstances like most people are. Her life is also basically her own. Sex in itself is not evil. You cannot be the arbiter of her sexual choices before you even went with her.

There is really no 'advancement' I can give you outside of meditative practice because this feeling is based on your romantic tastes and sexual vocation, just as I cannot tell a (relatively) promiscuous person they are wrong for having multiple people they have intercourse with and feeling more detached about each. Beyond certain people ridding themselves of abominations (i.e. the things violating the Ethics) and silly nonsense (muh AI waifu), sexual tastes are really not something that alter that much with spiritual practice. Sometimes these also shift with age, preference and experience instead.

But you also should ask yourself: is throwing a relationship away due to this a good idea exactly?

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

I can't get past the fact that my girlfriend not only has losen her virginity to someone else, but also has slept with three different guys before me (while knowing me).

Your girlfriend has also had sex in her past lives with guys other than you, just as you too if perhaps you have an incarnation from millennia ago did not keep yourself a virgin because one day you would meet someone in this life. I am also like you who cannot have sex without love. These are things that exist. But it doesn't mean that those who have this tendency love less than those who don't. They are just different attitudes of living.

Because both of you now would not have sex with someone else since you love each other. It's not so much the value you place on the concept of love then (the when you can have sex), but the value you place on who you love (how you handle sex). This thing about sex being dirty, if you've had sex you're a dirty slut, etc. is as idiotic as saying that if you want only to have sex with the one you love you're a [I don't know how to translate it into English, in Italian it's "pussy dead" which indicates someone who can only get very few girls].

And I'll tell you more, usually if you're always thinking about what other people got from your girlfriend, you get way too distracted (as you can see) from your goal of giving the best and most special things possible to her. You are a child of Zeus, you can give her much more than what a person not yet initiated to the Gods can give her. This as you can see is much more advanced as a concept than those who have had sex before.

 

[Visitor]

Your girlfriend has also had sex in her past lives with guys other than you, just as you too if perhaps you have an incarnation from millennia ago did not keep yourself a virgin because one day you would meet someone in this life. I am also like you who cannot have sex without love. These are things that exist. But it doesn't mean that those who have this tendency love less than those who don't. They are just different attitudes of living.

Because both of you now would not have sex with someone else since you love each other. It's not so much the value you place on the concept of love then (the when you can have sex), but the value you place on who you love (how you handle sex). This thing about sex being dirty, if you've had sex you're a dirty slut, etc. is as idiotic as saying that if you want only to have sex with the one you love you're a [I don't know how to translate it into English, in Italian it's "pussy dead" which indicates someone who can only get very few girls].

And I'll tell you more, usually if you're always thinking about what other people got from your girlfriend, you get way too distracted (as you can see) from your goal of giving the best and most special things possible to her. You are a child of Zeus, you can give her much more than what a person not yet initiated to the Gods can give her. This as you can see is much more advanced as a concept than those who have had sex before.

That doesn't make any sense, how can you know so much about their lives to say such a thing?

He's not living his past life, he's living his life now, that's a totally repulsive response, she CHEATED on him, simple as that

What a disgusting answer, it makes me want to vomit. Give her what exactly? Why exactly should he act like a cuckold? That's repulsive and out of touch with reality...

 

[Visitor]

I can't get past the fact that my girlfriend not only has losen her virginity to someone else, but also has slept with three different guys before me (while knowing me). We've been together for almost a year, everything is fine, she says she loves me and I love her for sure, and there isn't even the slightest problem. But there's this constant needle in my head, and when i reflect about it I feel sick in my stomach. I even threw up once. And I think I feel it so deeply because she is the first woman I've ever had sex with. I valued myself and my body so much that I've only allowed myself to have sex with the one woman I truly ever loved: her.
I also think about the fact that I couldn't physically have sex with another woman I don't love, even if I wanted to, out of lust and nothing else. I know that we aren't all made the same and each individual feels things differently and with different intensity, but I can't get past this feeling, and sometimes I even don't want to get past it, like that's not what I'm meant to do. I feel that this situation is also influencing my spiritual progress. Maybe there's a bigger lesson I have to learn (no, I'm sure there is), but I don't know where to start. I seriously want to learn and advance. During the first month of the relationship, I felt sick while having sex with her, thinking she had other men on her, and had to stop. She comprehended my feeling and never criticized me for it. She even tried to help me and always told me that those men are in the past et cetera. I feel like she really loves me as well. But I, again, after all these months, can't get past it. And I need this gone, maybe someone here can help me.

I've read the other members' replies so I'll tell you mine, because it seems that common sense has simply disappeared from these members' heads

Let me get this straight, you were together and yet she had sex with other guys? I'll tell you something basic, she cheated on you, simple.

She doesn't love you, I've felt that thing about falling in love and if she loved you she wouldn't be interested in other guys, she's just using you.

So I'm going to tell you something that seems to lack common sense in other members, leave her, because she's doing you harm, this is very simple to understand, she cheated on you, she preferred to give her virginity to someone other than you

Lydia has already talked about this if I'm not mistaken, that when a girl loses her virginity she doesn't forget the first time and probably when you're having sex with her, it will probably be someone else who will be on her mind

Look, I'm not the person who talks about this a lot, but I'm really sorry, I think you should look for someone who can really appreciate you

This is really sad, but I really wish you could have someone real on your side, if you calm down please try this meditation so you can find someone real for you: The Aura

Aura to attract an ideal partner for you

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

That doesn't make any sense, how can you know so much about their lives to say such a thing?

Here our noble HPS explain that better:

Working on advancing in general is needed. These xian/muslim thoughts of how nobody should have sex before, is unnatural and anti-life. Clean your chakras, especially your sacral chakra. This also ties in with your spying on her, people tend to obsess like this from lower frequency chakras and mind.

You spying on her now in the present, would be considered by many as worse than her having sex with others in her past. You are disrespecting the privacy of the one you claim to love. How would you feel if you knew she was spying on you?

Know that when two people are together and in love, that's what matters. You likely had sex with others in your past lives, should you be held accountable for that? It is not just the current life that matters. So focus on what you have with her.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Let me get this straight, you were together and yet she had sex with other guys? I'll tell you something basic, she cheated on you, simple.

This is not what he told.

This is what he told:

also has slept with three different guys before me

"BEFORE"

 

[Visitor]

This is not what he told.

This is what he told:


"BEFORE"

"but also has slept with three different guys before me (while knowing me). We've been together for almost a year"
I think there's a problem here, he says she's slept with other people even though she knows him and he's been with her for a year...

Working on advancing in general is needed. These xian/muslim thoughts of how nobody should have sex before, is unnatural and anti-life. Clean your chakras, especially your sacral chakra. This also ties in with your spying on her, people tend to obsess like this from lower frequency chakras and mind.

You spying on her now in the present, would be considered by many as worse than her having sex with others in her past. You are disrespecting the privacy of the one you claim to love. How would you feel if you knew she was spying on you?

Know that when two people are together and in love, that's what matters. You likely had sex with others in your past lives, should you be held accountable for that? It is not just the current life that matters. So focus on what you have with her.

Oh well, the sex life he prefers doesn't matter, you have to give preference to who a slut can or can't choose and she has to decide that

I don't give a shit about Lydia, a relationship is something that two people have to decide and if he has his preference why the fuck should he ignore it just to make the bitch happy?

Honestly, I have so many feelings about what I've just read that I don't even know how to describe it.

The most repulsive thing I find is that men should be passive and accept everything just to make the bitch happy.

If he doesn't care, fine, but it's bad for him, so in this context I don't give a shit about this sentence.

 

[monomotapa 2]

I respect SeguaceDiSatanas, I respect our Jo's guardians and most importantly our high priest's

I also have understood from HPS Lydia that a key in relationships is to be free and value what fulfills you

So respectively why are you guys telling him to stay in that relationship if it's making him sick.leave and go find what fulfills you isisd

Those who think am wrong do feel free to correct

 

[AFODO]

Sex doesn't leave a permanent scar in woman not physically nor spiritually, and she is over them mentally also.
Virgins are also inexperienced in sex (obviously) so you would probably have even worse experiences if she was a virgin.
Even polygamy is also not inherently bad and is normal for higher level people like Gods.

 

[HPS Lydia]

It is deranged to obsess about other people's sex lives. If it has nothing to do with you, then focus on your own life. Purify yourself, advance. Nobody is saying to be passive, but to understand life.

Contemplate this: https://templeofzeus.org/life_ethics_sexual

 

[Aquarius]

Void meditation to remove that feeling from your head. If you can't ignore that feeling it means you have to immerse yourself in it and "accept it", so that you can move on.

 

[Aquarius]

"but also has slept with three different guys before me (while knowing me). We've been together for almost a year"
I think there's a problem here, he says she's slept with other people even though she knows him and he's been with her for a year...


Oh well, the sex life he prefers doesn't matter, you have to give preference to who a slut can or can't choose and she has to decide that

I don't give a shit about Lydia, a relationship is something that two people have to decide and if he has his preference why the fuck should he ignore it just to make the bitch happy?

Honestly, I have so many feelings about what I've just read that I don't even know how to describe it.

The most repulsive thing I find is that men should be passive and accept everything just to make the bitch happy.

If he doesn't care, fine, but it's bad for him, so in this context I don't give a shit about this sentence.

Not only you didn't understand jack shit about this whole matter and you speak as if everybody commenting is dumb, you're also being disrespectful towards our HPS Lydia.

Way to go champ, I can suggest you two books for your problems
1. English grammar in use for English comprehension

2. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, to humble you.

Never did the OP say his girl fucked three guys during their relationship, but before and he is obsessed that he is not the first to have sex with her.