On Thu, 7/27/17,
voiceofenki@... [JoyofSatan666] <
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Almost completely convinced but still want more testimony
To:
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, July 27, 2017, 5:16 AM
Hello,
I was
personally in a reletively simmilar situation as you were
before I dedicated (been a dedicated SS for about 2 and a
half years now) so perhaps reading my story and early
experiience as an SS could give you more insight and make
you feel more convinced.
My situation was a little more extreme perhaps
than how it was for others before dedicating. I had been
meditating for 2 years prior to finding the Joy of Satan, by
reading various new age websites and by digging deeper also
finding various hindu websites with meditations on them and
what not (Being from europe sources were not easy to find).
On some of those websites
I learned about void meditation and spiritual healing, I
started applying those to myself and then slowly started
doing my own thing by following my intuition as the
information I found didn't feel right. I had success
with this, for teh first few months it greatly improved my
wellbeing and my mind had calmed down a lot through void
meditation, but this is when stuff started going sideways.
I was being vvisited by
various entities. Now I am naturally quite open astrally, so
feeling, seeing and speaking to astral entities was
something I could do before I dedicated to Satan and worked
specifically on my third eye.
Basically those entities were claiming to be
friendly, I was given advice by them, sometimes it seemed
helpful but mostly it was all vague nonsense that did
nothing but confuse me (this I can say in hindsight, as at
the time I was totally enthralled by the experience). Slowly
after they were getting nefarious, they started hanging
around me and draining my energy at night as I slept, which
I was unaware of at first.
Now I coonfronted them after a while, when I
figured out my energies were being drained. During my sleep
I had been having terrible nightmares for weeks (the result
of getting your energy drained by negative astral entities)
and I hadn't had a proper night sleep for weeks.
They claimed to be demons
after I confronted them, as the general belief is that
demons are evil being that are out to harm humanity. Now I
have never been a christian in my life so I didn't think
much of it, my beliefs towards what demons are was mostly
from other media sources and video games, where often they
are portrayed as beings with immense power but not
necessarily all evil, so I wasn't of the belief demons
were evil creatures in the same way christianity lies about
that.
Things got much
worse after this however, some of them stuck around and
claimed to be benificial while I kept being attacked by
others, the entities who claimed to be benificial kept
telling me bad advices, such as to simply ignore the
attacks, they would go away if I ignored it, then they
claimed they were fighting against those entities for me
whenever I was attacked astrally, leaving me by myself
pretty much to deal with this stuff of which I had no idea
how to fight back or protect myself.
The attacks revolved around filling my mind
with emotions that are not my own, such as crippling fear,
physically paralysing my body to the point I actually could
not move (only with immense effort and willpower was I able
to move) physically suffocating me, astrally raping me (yes
this can be done by those entities) and draining my energies
to the point I nearly lost consciousness. As well as causing
me all kinds of misfortune that was inexplicable.
Eecrical appliances would
break almost weakly around me, such as lights, which would
literally explode with sparks. Things I touched would break
in strange ways that didn't make any sense, such as when
I sat down on my bed one day the entire bed broke in half
(the bed had no prior damage and I'm a slim young man,
not overweight in the slightest, also I sat down as I
normally would). Or I'd pick up a glass to drink and it
would literally shatter in the palm of my hand. I'd walk
through the hallway with a broom and the broom would snap
upon impact with the doorpost, after which part of it hit me
in the face and gave me a nasty cut.
Things like that occured quite regularly, in
many cases it didn't make logical sense as to how this
could happen like that. It got so bad to the point I was
afraid to touch things as I thought they'd just break.
Those entities claimed it
was because of me, because I was meditating I'd become
dangerous. I didn't believe that of course, but after
having this happen so many times and hearing that it was
because of my meditations for weeks, on top of the other
mentally exaustive stuff I had been going through at the
hands of those entities which caused me to be severely sleep
deprived most of the time I started to believe it.
Then they shifted their
tactics. They were quick to guide me to new age sites that
spoke about angel magic. At the time it didn't occur to
me this was completely christian in nature as anything with
angel stuff like that is of course completely christian, but
just as I my perception of demons, my perception of angels
came from different kinds of media where I believed that
angels were not necessarily connected to xianity and some
were assholes while others were benificial. Due to my
perception of these things it didn't occur to me that
all this stuff was christian in nature.
I started doing that angel magic as those
entities adviced me, I was so deperate for anything that
could help me remove that influence that I happily tried
using that stuff with hope that it could fix these attacks,
which those entities convinced me were demonic attacks of
course.
Now this is where
things became interesting to me. The first few times doing
that so called angel magic actually were positive
experiences, I'd be filled with positive energy and the
attacks would stop for a few days.
However whenever I tried to meditate they'd
resume right away, I'd get pestered by attacks
immedietly after I tried to meditate. Then I would do that
angel magic again to make it go away, and continue to
meditate.
After some time
the attacks kept happening regardless of doing that angel
magic, only if I didn't meditate they would not happen.
But I was stubborn, I knew I wanted to meditate as I had
read of amazing benefits that came from it, so I kept doing
it. When the angel magic didn't seem to help, I said to
myself "well it was just nonsense anyways, better stop
using it as it's not helping..".
I found a website on the hindu
Gods after this, and instead of doing angel magic I started
to attempt to invoke those Hindu Gods.
The attacks got much, much worse. I ended up
loosing control of my self on multiple occasions, I was
urged to kill myself by those entities. Everytime they'd
urge me to kill myself they'd fill me with positive
energy, to make me feel comfortable with dying. They'd
violently assult me at night, to the point my entire body
would be shaking, my whole bed would be shaking. I'd
feel things inside my brain and see those entities enter my
head with their hands, literally giving me the feeling as if
something was physically messing with my brain and not being
able to do anything about it as another one of those
entities would astrally rape me.
Perhaps this sounds unbelievable, and I will
say, much of this were most likely illusions injected into
my mind, however I percieved those things and physically
experienced those things exactly like that. It was honestly
very scary for me at the time and I wasn't easily
scared.
I started fighting
back, by any means. I'd scream out loud to these things,
telling them to leave now, to go away or I'd kill them.
They would taunt me to try to kill them as I had no idea how
to harm them astrally. I'd try to push them away with my
willpower, vizualizing a barrier around me that keeps them
at bay. This would work, but only for a short time as
they'd over power me quickly and leave me completely
exausted.
I would get
possesed at times, literally I would simply be watching
myself from the backseat while some other entity would speak
through me and control my body. I was violent when that
happened. It would attempt to attack other people, I would
use my willpower to try and prevent it from controlling me
body and push whatever it was out, which would be a very,
very exausting mental battle, after which I would be panting
heavily and my body would be so weak I didn't have the
stength to stand.
It was a
battle just to keep sane, with everything that I experienced
daily. However I would eventually become more or less used
to it. I managed to get over my fears for those entities and
started to enjoy the metal battles, I'd gradually learn
ways to fight back. This was after I started meditating on
the Hindu Gods. Which through the JoS I know now are
actually aliases of the true Gods and Demons.
The attacks never stopped, but
I wasn't hurt by it anymore, I was expecting them to
happen and I learned how to fight back, but it was still
extremely exausting and it took a lot out of me. At one
point I stopped caring what would happen to me anymore, I
wasn't afraid of those entities anymore, but I neither
had the strength to fight back, I simply didn't care
anymore. They would incite suicide in me again almost daily,
but I didn't care to kill myself even, I was just done,
pissed of and tired of it, however I'd never kill myself
as this is cowardly, so they couldn't incite me to do
this anymore.
Then
something else happened. They started janking me out of my
body, telling me to let go, that I'd not be tired
anymore if I simply let go. So I did one night let go. I
felt my bodies breathing slow down, my mind was very calm
and relaxed. Everything went dark and everything was
completely calm. I didn't ingest any poison or whatever,
it was just that my soul started to detach from my body. I
stopped caring, I felt that if I'd let go then perhaps
everything would be easier. For a while I actually stopped
breathing, while laying on my bed, I lost consciousness
physically but astrally I remained conscious. There entities
were telling me to come to them, they looked friendly and
all, welcoming me with open arms to a light. Telling me to
go to that light.
For a
while I went closer to that light and felt myself slipping
away further and further, I didn't feel my physical body
at all anymore, but now my astral body started slipping away
too. Then I remembered that I didn't want to kill
myself, and that letting go is pretty much the same as
killing myself.
I saw my
body laying in my room, alone and empty. I wanted to go
back. Those entities suddenly grasped unto me, janking me
further towards the light, I struggled to free myself, but
in a fit of anger I mustered my will power and pushed them
all away, I said to myself "I never want to die!"
And brought myself back to my body. I got up after gasping
for air and yelled out loud that I'd never die, I'd
never let them take me, I'd fight against them forever
untill I got stronger than them, the I'd kill them
myself. I was very angry.
That night I was visited by another entity,
this being felt much, much more powerful than anything else
I'd ever felt before. It asked me if I wanted help in
removing those entities from me permanently. I didn't
really believe in that entity as I'd been lied to
before, but I said "sure" as I thought why not see
if it works, I was convinced that I'd just fight back
again as I had been doing for the past year and a half if
they betrayed me.
The
being told me that they'd be gone, with a female voice.
She just said "It's done, see you soon".
She left.
Then I fell asleep and had the best nights
sleep I had had in 2 years, I slept without any nightmares,
without any attacks. The next morning everything was quiet.
My mind was quiet, there were no entities, no nothing, I
remember I sat down on my bed breathing and sighing with
relief as finally for the first time in a year and a half my
mind was quiet, this feeling I will never forget again as it
was so tranquil and relaxing.
For the next 3 months nothing happened,
everything was quiet, no attacks happened. Then I found the
JoS, I just sort of stumbled across it on coincidence. When
I started reading it I was interested, but due to the
experiences I had had before I was biased against demons as
those entities had told me they were demons and what not.
I decided to just ask, as
the website says that the Gods and Demons are real, that we
can talk to them. I had spoken to entities before so I felt
I could ask them and if they were real they'd come to
answer me. I looked at the list of Gods and decided on a God
I would ask, which was Andras, as his discription attracted
me. I had read scary stories about supposed attacks people
experienced by an entity that called itself Andras, I
thought if the Demons aren't evil, then why not call
upon him and ask him for advice on this, if he won't
attack me as supposedly people in those stories had
experienced then I'd feel more convinced.
I was visited by him, but only
briefly, he guided me to certain pages on the JoS website
and the Exposing christianity website that helped me
understand what those entities that had attacked me were.
They were angel thoughtforms for the most part.
He told me to dedicate first
if I was serious about learning from him, but he answered
most of the questions I had which reassured me that I could
trust him and the other demons. He told me not to contact
him or other Demons before I dedicated as they are very busy
and want to see that I am serious about this first before
spending more time talking to me. He also reassured me that
I'd be protected by Satan after my dedication.
Meeting him was intimidating
due to the energy I felt from him at that time, which was so
much stronger than any of those other entities I'd felt
before, but he left me with a positive feeling, my whole
room felt more positive and more energized than before his
visit.
This was before I
dedicated.
I struggled to
dedicate due to a fear of needles and attempted it 2 times
before succeeding on the third attempt. On the third attempt
I asked Satan if he could give me courage to dedicate and
overcome my silly fear of needles so I could get the blood
on the paper. I felt a warm pressence around me, a hand
supporting my own hand and guiding me. I pricked my finger
with help of that hand. I didn't feel any fear, I
didn't feel any pain, in fact I felt extremely uplifted
and extremely positive during the whole dedication.
After I got the blood on the
paper I heard what seemed like thousands of voices celebrate
and congratulate me, as if all of Hell (Duat) celebrated my
dedication.
I have never
experienced any kind of attack like what I had experienced
beffore I dedicated again after become a Spiritual Satanist.
I was helped by demons on my path a lot, guiding me to
articles to read, helping me out with finding good
meditations to start with. They were eager to help out a
newby. I spend the first few months just reading as much as
I could and got into meditation as soon as I dedicated, it
was exciting and the meditations were much, much stronger
than any that I'd done before.
Now after 2 and a half years, I have so many
awesome and positive experiences, as well as many succesful
attempts at magic that I could write a testimony at least 3
times longer than this whole thing if I were to tell all of
them in detail. Dedicating was by far the best thing I'd
ever done.
I understand
you are sceptical and maybe this whole story sounds fishy to
you, I'd understand that too, but I can say whole
heartedly that you'd never regret dedicating to Satan.
I suggest you do what I
did and simply ask a Demon to give you a sign to guide you
in the right direction, to give answers you were looking
for, the answers you need in order to feel convinced.
You might not be as open as I
am and was before dedicating, but the Gods/Demons can
communicate to you in various ways, through giving signs,
coincidences and other things that can reach you.
As you aren't dedicated
yet they won't be spending a whole lot of time on you
because they are very busy, but they will definitly hear you
and guide you to good information that can convince you
fully. Just talk to them, or ask Satan.
If you really want this or really want to learn
whether this is the truth and not some other disappointing,
fake new age cult or other crap and you approach Satan with
an open mind, looking out for signs he will definitly answer
your doubts as Satan is real and he really makes himself
known in a positive way, without forcing himself upon
anyone, unlike other new age crap or things like
christianity where you either get nothing and are kept
guessing forever or some stuff is forced upon you in some
way.
Here you don't
need to believe, just have an open mind as Satan is real and
the Demons are real, they don't require any belief to
show themselves to us, you aren't required to give
anything except a sincere interest.
Also as you said, we don't scam people by
asking them to give us copius amounts of money before we let
them know anything. All our websites and information is
freely available because we want people to know, you are
free to try it out and validate for yourself how real it is.
the only thing required is
the Dedication ritual, as without it you aren't under
Satan's protection and you can run into the same sort of
problems as I experienced when I was meditating before my
dedication.
The dedication
might be a bit of a threshold or bar, as it was for me due
to my old fear of needles (which is now gone due to
meditation I should add), but there is really no nefarious
purpose to it, neither does it require much except for a
tiny bit of blood which you can extract with something like
an insulin needle that you can get at a pharmacy, this is
the only requirement to fully dedicate yourself to Satan, to
show to him that you are serious about this.
Good luck to you and I hope
you will find the answer you were looking for, either in my
post or somewhere else and manage to dedicate yourself.
We'd of course be very happy and glad to have you with
us.
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