warrior4satan
New member
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2011
- Messages
- 0
I was strongly indoctrinated in xianity before, and I was and sometimes still am a strong dreamer and one to be "in my own little world easily". There was even a time in xianity that I was considering being a preacher. I even did an online ordination that made me an ordained minister.
I had, during bouts and fits during being an xtian where I found a book on "Magical Mystical Creatures and How to bring them into your life" by D.J. Conway of which I performed a summoning ritual based on it before and that I got an interest into somewhat Wiccan/Magickal arts but never pursued them much further. I had an overwhelming interest in the fantasy fiction genre. I had also always been interested when I was younger in the "Live and Let Die" movie where they were using Tarot cards.
Eventually, though, before college, I went to a mission trip down to New Mexico/Arizona to the Navajo Nation. I came back there and after another bout of in and out of xianity, I went completely away to eventually form my own, 'religion', so to speak.
I had and still have people I know and have considered friends that I hung out with, some being really strong in xianity. I even learned one of my old xtian friends has *blarg* jewish ancestry.
I had dedicated to Satan toward the end of may, last year. I stumbled across the Joy of Satan website when I was researching Behemoth. I had picked up a copy of Dictionnaire Infernal when I was way much younger, back in fifth to sixth grade or so and saw a picture of behemoth from the artists rendering in that book. It was hard to miss as the picture portrays him as rather portly. Anyway, when I was researching I felt for some reason to contact him and I came across the black mirror part on the JOS website.
Then, I started to make one, but then had another thought, somewhat of a feeling, to best to start studying the website more about what I was doing and what it was. I became more and more intersted. Then, at the time, the new regime where I worked at as computer/helpdesk was getting hectic about accuracy, details, and other nonsense. My boss was particularly on my case. I remember at the time I was not dedicated, but I had read much of the Jos website, I was sitting there and he was saying how I need to be better, more focused. In the back of my mind, I was wanting to say to him, I can be better. I didn't have the courage to tell him, yeah I'm going to better myself with Satan's help when I dedicated to him and did the meditations normally. Well, I quit that job and went to work for a time as a delivery driver. I had applied for another full time job that payed a little better and when they finally got back to me, I went to that job. That was the time I was really getting into my meditations. I ended up not getting in the better paying full time job enough to keep my apartment so it was back to my xtian parents house (which used to be the former parsonage for the church I live down the street from). I ended up having a falling out on frustration on getting my guardian demon. I would do the Oujia board, and had names come back with one that ended up being a reference to greek mythology and some type of high angel related name. But that frustration made me go away. Then I got really caught up and literally fearful at my work and hated the work considerably and couldn't handle it mentally. So, I quit and got a job at a fast food restaurant. I attempted to come back and during a ritual, I asked father about my guardian demons. I got Behemoth and Beelzebub in my thoughts just after. I may have gotten Lillith but don't remember exactly. I had also gotten similar results from the Oujia board and this is why I was asking. I got Behemoth being not look like the statue and picture that is so defamed from the cruel representation of the demons in Dictionary Infernale. I did some aside research into The Lesser Key of Soloman before I was a fully dedicated Satanist. I think the two are in the same boat of being infiltrated by the enemy at some point. However, considering the intense indoctrination I went through, I am not even sure to trust the return on thoughts I had when trying to telepathically communicating with Father. The purpose being the 'religion' I previously created for myself and the xian program of prayer, in that the thoughts of the xians were expected to be directed or shown in much the same way as to where to go. I went away again back to my created 'religion' and am now trying to come back fully to try to empower myself in the way father intended and to do his work to utterly destroy his enemies. Until I can get a complete year long deprogramming from it and steer clear of my current friends to hopefully get some either atheist or satanist friends nearby, I almost had better steer clear of any ritual magick and talking with most other brothers and sisters on here, although I did perform the cursing ritual for the Eve of Beltane.
Originally, I had gotten up to almost all of the opening meditations for the chakras and was getting ready to go onto the minor chakras. I figure I am back to zero so I am doing them from the beginning as I had stopped them in the mean time. I figure I am probably further hurt by the previous intense xianity than most in this group. I am making sure to do the void meditations, yes, but I'm certain it is not going to have a greater effect for a while. Maybe almost like an LCD monitor if left on one image has the image burn into it showing a residual of the image? It must then be left powered off for the equal amount of time before the residual image fully dissapears.
One thing is for certain, though, I am never trusting a xian,jew,muslim,etc. for much again. The fuck with those stupid jewish programs. I mean, any idiot can see, irregardless of what they want to say about whatever stupid holocaust that 'may' have happened. The pull the camera away from their own bible that incrimidates them for killing more than six million in their genecidal crusade against the hittites to name just one of the several races they killed in the name of their fucked in the head god jehovah.
I had, during bouts and fits during being an xtian where I found a book on "Magical Mystical Creatures and How to bring them into your life" by D.J. Conway of which I performed a summoning ritual based on it before and that I got an interest into somewhat Wiccan/Magickal arts but never pursued them much further. I had an overwhelming interest in the fantasy fiction genre. I had also always been interested when I was younger in the "Live and Let Die" movie where they were using Tarot cards.
Eventually, though, before college, I went to a mission trip down to New Mexico/Arizona to the Navajo Nation. I came back there and after another bout of in and out of xianity, I went completely away to eventually form my own, 'religion', so to speak.
I had and still have people I know and have considered friends that I hung out with, some being really strong in xianity. I even learned one of my old xtian friends has *blarg* jewish ancestry.
I had dedicated to Satan toward the end of may, last year. I stumbled across the Joy of Satan website when I was researching Behemoth. I had picked up a copy of Dictionnaire Infernal when I was way much younger, back in fifth to sixth grade or so and saw a picture of behemoth from the artists rendering in that book. It was hard to miss as the picture portrays him as rather portly. Anyway, when I was researching I felt for some reason to contact him and I came across the black mirror part on the JOS website.
Then, I started to make one, but then had another thought, somewhat of a feeling, to best to start studying the website more about what I was doing and what it was. I became more and more intersted. Then, at the time, the new regime where I worked at as computer/helpdesk was getting hectic about accuracy, details, and other nonsense. My boss was particularly on my case. I remember at the time I was not dedicated, but I had read much of the Jos website, I was sitting there and he was saying how I need to be better, more focused. In the back of my mind, I was wanting to say to him, I can be better. I didn't have the courage to tell him, yeah I'm going to better myself with Satan's help when I dedicated to him and did the meditations normally. Well, I quit that job and went to work for a time as a delivery driver. I had applied for another full time job that payed a little better and when they finally got back to me, I went to that job. That was the time I was really getting into my meditations. I ended up not getting in the better paying full time job enough to keep my apartment so it was back to my xtian parents house (which used to be the former parsonage for the church I live down the street from). I ended up having a falling out on frustration on getting my guardian demon. I would do the Oujia board, and had names come back with one that ended up being a reference to greek mythology and some type of high angel related name. But that frustration made me go away. Then I got really caught up and literally fearful at my work and hated the work considerably and couldn't handle it mentally. So, I quit and got a job at a fast food restaurant. I attempted to come back and during a ritual, I asked father about my guardian demons. I got Behemoth and Beelzebub in my thoughts just after. I may have gotten Lillith but don't remember exactly. I had also gotten similar results from the Oujia board and this is why I was asking. I got Behemoth being not look like the statue and picture that is so defamed from the cruel representation of the demons in Dictionary Infernale. I did some aside research into The Lesser Key of Soloman before I was a fully dedicated Satanist. I think the two are in the same boat of being infiltrated by the enemy at some point. However, considering the intense indoctrination I went through, I am not even sure to trust the return on thoughts I had when trying to telepathically communicating with Father. The purpose being the 'religion' I previously created for myself and the xian program of prayer, in that the thoughts of the xians were expected to be directed or shown in much the same way as to where to go. I went away again back to my created 'religion' and am now trying to come back fully to try to empower myself in the way father intended and to do his work to utterly destroy his enemies. Until I can get a complete year long deprogramming from it and steer clear of my current friends to hopefully get some either atheist or satanist friends nearby, I almost had better steer clear of any ritual magick and talking with most other brothers and sisters on here, although I did perform the cursing ritual for the Eve of Beltane.
Originally, I had gotten up to almost all of the opening meditations for the chakras and was getting ready to go onto the minor chakras. I figure I am back to zero so I am doing them from the beginning as I had stopped them in the mean time. I figure I am probably further hurt by the previous intense xianity than most in this group. I am making sure to do the void meditations, yes, but I'm certain it is not going to have a greater effect for a while. Maybe almost like an LCD monitor if left on one image has the image burn into it showing a residual of the image? It must then be left powered off for the equal amount of time before the residual image fully dissapears.
One thing is for certain, though, I am never trusting a xian,jew,muslim,etc. for much again. The fuck with those stupid jewish programs. I mean, any idiot can see, irregardless of what they want to say about whatever stupid holocaust that 'may' have happened. The pull the camera away from their own bible that incrimidates them for killing more than six million in their genecidal crusade against the hittites to name just one of the several races they killed in the name of their fucked in the head god jehovah.
