NetemPtah
Member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2023
- Messages
- 202
I remember an experience I had, when I was 2-3 years old. I was with my cousins, they were talking about demons, in a negative way. And I had this beautiful, beautiful feeling that they were good, I don't remember exactly, but I remember laughing, like I was playing with a demon... But whether this is true or not, I'm not sure; I just know a feeling of "play", a beautiful feeling. I've always carried that memory with me, even though I grew up believing in Jesus.
It'a also incredible how, when at school, studying or seeing films about Hitler, I always thought that he had a reason. This from a very young age.
At 14, I was lost, growing up without anyone to rely on. I was deeply involved in Christianity, to extreme levels; I punished myself in prayer. That's how lost I was. I had a deep spiritual crisis, it wasn't easy, and remembering the Gods led me to make several mistakes, but now, years later, I know that they have forgiven me, and I have the feeling that they never got angry with me, and that they already knew that this was the path to my awakening.
After months of strange experiences and agony because I was terrified of my experiences, I had a dream about some entities of Jahveh and when I woke up I realized that in all my agony, when I punished myself, when I was so lost and alone, they never introduced themselves to me; but when I discovered Satan, they introduced them to me. That was my response. Satan then took me away from there, to a much better place, where I actually found myself again, somehow. When I started to be very consistent with my meditations, I started working, that work was sucking up all my energy, I was no longer able to meditate. I asked Satan to put me in a place and situation where I could meditate. He gave it to me. A month later, I was able to leave my job and meditate. I actually started meditating, being very consistent; sometimes I failed at that, but Satan never left me alone. That is the thing that moves me so much. The only "person" who ever truly loved me, in my entire life, gave me exactly what I asked for, and I was so ungrateful to disappoint Him, several times; and yet, I knew deep in my heart, and I had my own evidence, that He never stopped believing in me. He always helped me. Months ago, I had a major financial crisis, and after months of working on my financial situation spiritually, when I was going through a moment of awareness of so many things regarding my financial situation, I had a crisis, where I felt that Satan had left me alone in this.
In fact, at that time, my progress was so rapid that I had a huge energy backlash, where I was psychologically processing what was happening. It was a stressful situation. I was studying money, marketing and mindset 12-15 hours a day. Realizing that the general victimhood about material scarcity, that society deeply rooted in me, was absolute bullshit, that money was not bad, that I did not have to accept a normal job as noble, was not easy for me. I grew up in complete poverty, I certainly had food, but I grew up in situations where I watched other children get things that I did not get, I saw my parents taking care of themselves, of their new families, but not of me. I saw myself in a cage, where I could do nothing, except accept what others thought I deserved. It was not easy and on my journey I had to face my childhood again, the pain of my parents not taking care of me, of no one who ever took care of me. That deep, deep crisis, was the only way for me to wake up and realize that it wasn't supposed to be this way. In fact, this was another huge, huge gift that Satan gave me. Because if I were in a normal situation, where I had everything I needed, materially, I would never rebel against all this and realize that I really wanted more.
Yesterday, while meditating, I was thinking about certain amounts of money, visualising it, and some words slowly came to my mind "If you don't give up, you will get exactly what you want", I am sure that they came from Satan. Yesterday, after receiving this message, I suddenly realized everything that happened all those months. Satan always knew what was happening to me, he never left me alone. He just had a gift for me that I didn't understand. He knew better than me what I truly wanted, and he gave me that path.
This is the happiest moment of my life, I'm working madly on my project, and doing it, and seeing my results, heals me on so many levels. I've grown incredibly, emotionally.
Thank you, Satan, for always believing in me. Sometimes I like to think that I was with Satan in previous incarnations. Sometimes I think that if it were really like that, I would have been more advanced, or I would have participated in the spiritual warfare. I am so sorry that I was not there. And for this I hope that Satan will guide me so that I can contribute in another way to his cause. And sometimes, indeed, I feel that I am not ready yet, but that I will do something for Satan. I have always thought this, but I always thought that it was my ego talking. But the more time passes, the more realistic it seems that I have actually always been with Satan.
It'a also incredible how, when at school, studying or seeing films about Hitler, I always thought that he had a reason. This from a very young age.
At 14, I was lost, growing up without anyone to rely on. I was deeply involved in Christianity, to extreme levels; I punished myself in prayer. That's how lost I was. I had a deep spiritual crisis, it wasn't easy, and remembering the Gods led me to make several mistakes, but now, years later, I know that they have forgiven me, and I have the feeling that they never got angry with me, and that they already knew that this was the path to my awakening.
After months of strange experiences and agony because I was terrified of my experiences, I had a dream about some entities of Jahveh and when I woke up I realized that in all my agony, when I punished myself, when I was so lost and alone, they never introduced themselves to me; but when I discovered Satan, they introduced them to me. That was my response. Satan then took me away from there, to a much better place, where I actually found myself again, somehow. When I started to be very consistent with my meditations, I started working, that work was sucking up all my energy, I was no longer able to meditate. I asked Satan to put me in a place and situation where I could meditate. He gave it to me. A month later, I was able to leave my job and meditate. I actually started meditating, being very consistent; sometimes I failed at that, but Satan never left me alone. That is the thing that moves me so much. The only "person" who ever truly loved me, in my entire life, gave me exactly what I asked for, and I was so ungrateful to disappoint Him, several times; and yet, I knew deep in my heart, and I had my own evidence, that He never stopped believing in me. He always helped me. Months ago, I had a major financial crisis, and after months of working on my financial situation spiritually, when I was going through a moment of awareness of so many things regarding my financial situation, I had a crisis, where I felt that Satan had left me alone in this.
In fact, at that time, my progress was so rapid that I had a huge energy backlash, where I was psychologically processing what was happening. It was a stressful situation. I was studying money, marketing and mindset 12-15 hours a day. Realizing that the general victimhood about material scarcity, that society deeply rooted in me, was absolute bullshit, that money was not bad, that I did not have to accept a normal job as noble, was not easy for me. I grew up in complete poverty, I certainly had food, but I grew up in situations where I watched other children get things that I did not get, I saw my parents taking care of themselves, of their new families, but not of me. I saw myself in a cage, where I could do nothing, except accept what others thought I deserved. It was not easy and on my journey I had to face my childhood again, the pain of my parents not taking care of me, of no one who ever took care of me. That deep, deep crisis, was the only way for me to wake up and realize that it wasn't supposed to be this way. In fact, this was another huge, huge gift that Satan gave me. Because if I were in a normal situation, where I had everything I needed, materially, I would never rebel against all this and realize that I really wanted more.
Yesterday, while meditating, I was thinking about certain amounts of money, visualising it, and some words slowly came to my mind "If you don't give up, you will get exactly what you want", I am sure that they came from Satan. Yesterday, after receiving this message, I suddenly realized everything that happened all those months. Satan always knew what was happening to me, he never left me alone. He just had a gift for me that I didn't understand. He knew better than me what I truly wanted, and he gave me that path.
This is the happiest moment of my life, I'm working madly on my project, and doing it, and seeing my results, heals me on so many levels. I've grown incredibly, emotionally.
Thank you, Satan, for always believing in me. Sometimes I like to think that I was with Satan in previous incarnations. Sometimes I think that if it were really like that, I would have been more advanced, or I would have participated in the spiritual warfare. I am so sorry that I was not there. And for this I hope that Satan will guide me so that I can contribute in another way to his cause. And sometimes, indeed, I feel that I am not ready yet, but that I will do something for Satan. I have always thought this, but I always thought that it was my ego talking. But the more time passes, the more realistic it seems that I have actually always been with Satan.
