There is a lot of planetary transit things happening right now to me astrologically and on top of it all I have come to a negative belief that most of the things that I go through are actually caused by the gods.
It makes no sense to think that the Gods take time to cause bad things to us. And it has even less than that considering that you yourself know well the reality of unfortunate transits and their role in our lives.
Regardless of the transit, being aware of the dynamics of how life works, astrologically, but also at the level of concretely taking on one's responsibilities, makes the false belief of: "the Gods of the heavens above are bullying me despite the my life is so low compared to those heavens that I can't even look at what happens up there and understand the nature and will of these Gods, somehow I must be very special indeed if the Gods have chosen to bully me without there being any reason!" also more senseless.
And SORRY, I know I'm being blunt, but it's very important that you make a clear comparison with reality to understand how things are. If I don't show you reality I could only fuel an unrealistic behavior that turns out to be toxic for you and incentivizes you not to take responsibility for solving problems.
It is necessary that you see things as they are: you are not so special that the Gods have chosen you as a "puppet to vent on", you are special to the Gods so that if you want to take a few steps towards them, and this also includes the simple to be something positive for yourself by committing to improve and not a toxic risk of self-destruction, the Gods will do even more towards you, and if everything is done with consistency and commitment you will reach each other happily.
But if you think: "have you seen? I suffer. Everything is caused by the Gods and if it rains and my house flooded because the rain was very heavy, it is because Zeus made it rain to punish me and only me in my whole city /region/Country where it rained. I wasn't the one who could avoid letting the hole in my roof get bigger and bigger by renovating my house, it's the fault of Zeus who made it rain all over the country to punish me with two centimeters of water on the floor, what a joke!"
One thing I admit is that my mind has been so fucking out of control for years and I believe that they just got sick of it and started bullying and victimizing me in some way.
I'll show you another possible vision: your mind got sick, so it was out of control and unusable to understand what's best to do about your problems, so you thought the Gods were to blame.
And I also add a second part of this possible vision: since you are a Satanist and you are on this forum, the fact that you now understand what is really happening could be of great help to you in getting out of it.
You are having a great opportunity to think about the events of your life and to realistically and rationally see the damage suffered and think of a logical correction of personal tendencies and incorrect assumed behaviors. This is MUCH more helpful than "I don't have much money, Amon Ra is a God of wealth, it was definitely Amon Ra who decreased my financial income".
Here we are ALL rooting for you, from Satanists to Gods, there is not a member of this human and Divine Satanic family rooting for your defeat. We are all with you and extremely available to hear what you are going through to give you more help and support with advice and even specific knowledge. JoS is a really important help support.
They want me to move out of a negative lifestyle that I've been living, but I don't understand why It seems like small negative things I go through throughout my day is caused by them and at the same time it feels like pure bullying
If humans could 100% understand the ways of thinking of the Gods and their choices, it could mean that their minds are similarly advanced to those of the Gods themselves.
But it is not, that is why the Gods are our Teachers and guide us by answering questions. This lack of total understanding of the Divine mind can mislead us so that we tend to take for granted that what corresponds to our fears, traumas, suggestions and prejudices belong to the vision of the Gods.
"I am so sure that my trauma to which I have dedicated 5 years of suffering is a truthful and realistic trauma, my phobia must therefore truly make sense, therefore the Gods also share my phobia! Therefore the Gods are guilty of what traumatically my phobia is making me believe", but no: it's just your prejudice that doesn't concern what goes through the mind of the God.
You are admitting negative behavior into your daily attitudes. Have you thought about working on that before wondering how you can convince the Gods who aren't bullying you to stop bullying you? Maybe by solving a negative trend in your life or in the way you manage or live your life, you will be able to overcome the problem or part of the problem.
There are so many teachings on the JoS website and forum that to say that the Gods are bullying you and have brought nothing into the world to help you, and anyone else like you who is in a similar situation, is VERY UNREALISTIC!
Maybe its not them and its something else, or its because of the current planet transits I've been having thats causing extreme miscommunication.
Yes, transits can do this. Bad behaviors can do this too. Combining the two is even worse. If you have a transit that favors a period of great stress, for example, and instead of taking action, perhaps meditation on the void, or taking time to relax and have fun, or anything else useful, but instead you work beyond your mental limit, you are going to concretely manifest what is already pushing from the astral to enter your material life.
It is no different than when you cast a love spell. If I simply perform the magical work, it will take more power to make it manifest on the material plane, but if I ask the girl to spend time with me, I treat her well and cultivate a relationship between us, my magical work will have very fertile ground and will have no trouble growing the romantic result I am looking for.
The first step to taking control of your life is to free yourself from self-destructive behaviors in it. When I cast a money spell, if I program the energies with my mind to attract money, but at the same time I squander all the money on alcohol and heroin, what should my mind understand? How should it make sense of the invoked energy? On one hand I am saying that I want to get wealth, on the other hand I tend to throw away every form of wealth I get as if I don't really want any kind of wealth.
Get rid of what destroys your life while doing spiritual work to improve it. Work on yourself and your way of being, this starts with avoiding blaming the Gods by transferring the burden of what happens to us onto them just because it is easier to say that "the Gods are punishing me, no solution possible, I can go back to sleep", rather than asking yourself how to solve the thing.
Saturn isnt retrograde anymore but during that time period it was touching my Mercury and Moon and I'm wondering if this is causing stress in this way and causing me to believe that the gods are bullying and victimizing me.
Start from something logical and intuitively concrete like understanding that the Gods are not bullying you, as you are already doing here. Try to study your situation well, what you are experiencing, what the problems are, what negative behaviors can be attributed to, on a material level, what triggers what you are experiencing? What encourages it? What spiritual causes can be supporting this negative trend?
Ask yourself as much as possible and then take the JoS website and everything you can find on SatanIsGod.org and look for resolution strategies: the first few times you will fail, but you will adjust your aim which is often a mandatory step. We are HERE available to help you and make you understand, the forum has extreme support, truly unparalleled help. The Gods will favor your intentions if they see that concretely at the level of actions you improve your condition, going beyond the simple "abstract will never expressed" to overcome obstacles, but acting concretely to overcome these obstacles.
I suggest making a diagram with pen and paper to have an overview of the situation and a specific intervention program for each thing, working on one aspect at a time calmly and patiently.
It's very negative mindset to have and I don't want it anymore. I need something to restore my faith in Satan and I dont know where to look.
Often those who blame Satan are because of their own insecurity. Someone who is confident does not project their problems onto others by blaming them. I suggest you resolve any emotional issues you may have regarding this as one of the initial steps. See if this helps:
https://ancient-forums.com/threads/...body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/
AND REMEMBER: we are all here, your family is here! Don't hesitate to ask us anything you feel might be helpful to your situation.
PS: I apologize again if I was excessively abrupt with you and apparently not very understanding of what you are experiencing, but in this case the situation was so serious that I thought that by "pampering" you I would never be able to direct you towards a more positive situation, I take responsibility for having "pushed you towards a realistic vision of the problem". Thank you for reading everything and for your attention!