#76417 He hurt me

[AskSatanOperator]

I had hormonal issues, and my boyfriend was taking care of me with a level of love and affection I had never felt before. This imbalance caused my breasts to become slightly bigger—I’m an A cup—but they eventually returned to their normal size after I underwent treatment (with his support). Jokingly, I said to him, "I'm sad, my big boobs are disappearing." I obviously knew they weren’t actually big, but they were the largest I had ever had. He even called my attention to it, saying he didn’t want me to talk about myself that way and that the issue was my health, not the size of my breasts. He emphasized that his only concern at that moment was exclusively my well-being.

I was feeling emotional and ended up saying, "You probably miss having sex with breasts." He got upset—rightfully so—and said that his past didn’t matter, that I was the only thing that mattered now, and that I shouldn’t think like that. He also said he didn’t miss anything, regardless of whether he had experienced it before or not.

That passed. A few days later, I was on a video call with my friend, and absentmindedly, I placed my hand inside my bra to feel that comforting warmth. We talked about it, and she said, "My boyfriend does that all the time when we're about to sleep, hahaha. "

After the call, I started thinking. My boyfriend never does that. Then I wondered, Is he just more into butts? Even so, wouldn’t he still touch my breasts at least occasionally? A flood of thoughts and doubts filled my mind—What if…? Until, when we were about to sleep, I finally asked why he never touched them, either before bed or randomly. He said he didn’t want to make me feel bad in any way, that he wanted a real connection.

I told him it wasn’t a problem, that I wouldn’t think he was objectifying me (because he literally said, "I don’t want to objectify you."). To me, it was fine, and I even thought it was a sweet gesture. Then I asked him to be honest with me about the real reason, because I knew his previous answer wasn’t the truth. That’s when, suddenly, he burst out and quickly said:

"I don’t like touching them because they’re too small. They have no substance. I don’t find them attractive. It’s just not a part of your body that I find appealing."

I had never felt such terrible pain, and I’ve been through a lot in my life. I didn’t know what to say. A horrible ringing filled my head, and I went into a daze. In the background, I could hear him apologizing over and over, saying he loved me, that he found me attractive, that I was more than just a body. But I remained silent. I had always been someone who never held back words, but this hurt so much that it left me speechless.

I simply stood up and started gathering my things. He begged me not to leave, saying he was truly sorry and that he loved me more than anything. I did everything in silence. I even felt dizzy… I think that if I had been punched in the mouth multiple times, it wouldn’t have hurt half as much as what I felt when he said those words.

I will never forget what he said. He tried calling me afterward, but I didn’t answer. I cried for an entire day, and it still hurts.

What should I do? How can I forget this?

I asked the chat gpt for help to write it clearly, I'm not good at English and I thought he could put it in a better way. Sorry if it sounds weird.

 

[Disciple of the Serpent]

I'll be honest, this is irrelevant drama.

A person can just love you without thinking about all this stuff. In my oppinion things come natural and that's it.

How much are you putting on the line for such a small bullshit that nobody cared, until your strange obsession over it?

I'm not insulting you, I just want you to think 360 degrees from an external point of view.

Then you know what's the best for yourself.

 

[Aquarius]

You wanted honesty, and he was honest. This man loves you and you made it all about yourself.

 

[Epiphany]

On one hand, that is a very hurtful and tactless thing to say. On the other, you asked him to be honest, and he was, even though it was an uncomfortable truth.

So, even though it's not pleasant, you did get what you asked for, and he was honest, which is an important thing to have.

However, just because of how harsh this was, and with the caveat of not knowing anything else about the relationship, I question whether he really loves you.

You have to figure that out for yourself because communication blunders do happen and it could genuinely have been said that way incidentally and without thinking.

I wouldn't say such a harsh thing to someone I love. But I have said things that I had good intentions with, but which came out wrong and were misinterpreted.