AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
I just wanted to share something in the hopes that someone may have some experience and/or advice on how to best approach it.
Since having opened my third eye fully things have felt as though I'm in a state of somewhat permanent hyper-awareness regarding the truth in all things 24/7. At times my intuition is to a point that although I may not see energy I get this immediate feeling and awareness of its form, colour and strength. I've even been having strange deja vu experiences where I get a feeling that something bad will happen before it does. I also seem to have this visceral feeling about the endless patterns and connections throughout all of language/lingustics, history, science and the occult. I've also been experiencing a strong sense of pareidolia and through it have experienced better memory retention and regression.
I've come from inexplicable trauma in my early life yet albeit the same I've overcome great obstacles, particularly related to health problems and an incorrect mental diagnosis of which requires for me support that, albeit limited, legally positions myself to having all of my rights governed and represented by another in spite of accomplishments in work, upgrading and further education.
That being said I generally live as independently as anyone else, yet I've felt conflicted somewhat recently. Although I have all these traumas, shortcomings, hindrances an so on I still appear to have an immense gift that all people seem to feel pure love and inspiration for and I believe it could simply be emotional intelligence. I have always seen the good in all things and in other people yet in my life I have scarcely embraced it in myself save from my time of working toward complete self-actualization and growth on this path.
Why is it that the more one seems to know and experience the easier it is to have difficulty feeling overwhelmed and hyper-stimulated? Why is it also that a person who has faced some of the most cruel of experiences and lowest of mental/spiritual/emotional states have such an exponential growth and development upon learning and growing from truth? It almost feels like I was given an invaluable gift in return for what I'd lost and at times I feel burdened by it, as though I couldn't be so deserving when so many others suffer far worse from far less.
I feel like I should focus on my strengths first rather than being being frustrated with my weaknesses. That thing I'd like to do most in life for example falls into humanities yet I've lately felt a nagging lack surrounding math and to some level science.
Finding balance is hard in life yet that is what matters most I think. For whatever reason the subconscious (emotional mind) fixates to anything bad/negative via some apparent survival mechanism and from this the logical mind also forms a point of fixation to which point can easily become the only focus.
It's as though the logical mind is an extension of the subconscious. This bewilders me to some degree realizing how powerful emotion is and how it can affect us outside of our conscious awareness. To this one I suppose must overcome emotion via logic and to build new patterns within the subconscious.
What are your thoughts? I wish to have all these abilities/skills yet I cannot help but fixate and make it a point of constant focus. Would it indeed be best to avoid spending too much time trying to learn something that may not benefit me? It's literally logic vs emotion for me. Logic says I should improve in all areas while emotion says I should follow my heart and gut-feeling.
Anyway, I am sorry to ramble there guys! Thanks for your time, truly, and may the love of the Gods be with you always.
Since having opened my third eye fully things have felt as though I'm in a state of somewhat permanent hyper-awareness regarding the truth in all things 24/7. At times my intuition is to a point that although I may not see energy I get this immediate feeling and awareness of its form, colour and strength. I've even been having strange deja vu experiences where I get a feeling that something bad will happen before it does. I also seem to have this visceral feeling about the endless patterns and connections throughout all of language/lingustics, history, science and the occult. I've also been experiencing a strong sense of pareidolia and through it have experienced better memory retention and regression.
I've come from inexplicable trauma in my early life yet albeit the same I've overcome great obstacles, particularly related to health problems and an incorrect mental diagnosis of which requires for me support that, albeit limited, legally positions myself to having all of my rights governed and represented by another in spite of accomplishments in work, upgrading and further education.
That being said I generally live as independently as anyone else, yet I've felt conflicted somewhat recently. Although I have all these traumas, shortcomings, hindrances an so on I still appear to have an immense gift that all people seem to feel pure love and inspiration for and I believe it could simply be emotional intelligence. I have always seen the good in all things and in other people yet in my life I have scarcely embraced it in myself save from my time of working toward complete self-actualization and growth on this path.
Why is it that the more one seems to know and experience the easier it is to have difficulty feeling overwhelmed and hyper-stimulated? Why is it also that a person who has faced some of the most cruel of experiences and lowest of mental/spiritual/emotional states have such an exponential growth and development upon learning and growing from truth? It almost feels like I was given an invaluable gift in return for what I'd lost and at times I feel burdened by it, as though I couldn't be so deserving when so many others suffer far worse from far less.
I feel like I should focus on my strengths first rather than being being frustrated with my weaknesses. That thing I'd like to do most in life for example falls into humanities yet I've lately felt a nagging lack surrounding math and to some level science.
Finding balance is hard in life yet that is what matters most I think. For whatever reason the subconscious (emotional mind) fixates to anything bad/negative via some apparent survival mechanism and from this the logical mind also forms a point of fixation to which point can easily become the only focus.
It's as though the logical mind is an extension of the subconscious. This bewilders me to some degree realizing how powerful emotion is and how it can affect us outside of our conscious awareness. To this one I suppose must overcome emotion via logic and to build new patterns within the subconscious.
What are your thoughts? I wish to have all these abilities/skills yet I cannot help but fixate and make it a point of constant focus. Would it indeed be best to avoid spending too much time trying to learn something that may not benefit me? It's literally logic vs emotion for me. Logic says I should improve in all areas while emotion says I should follow my heart and gut-feeling.
Anyway, I am sorry to ramble there guys! Thanks for your time, truly, and may the love of the Gods be with you always.
![Power of Justice [JG]](/data/avatars/s/21/21556.jpg?1705626106){kind=avatar}
