The Gods #133 Why do i feel so distant from satan?

[AskSatanOperator]

I have been an ss for ten yearsh,
When i was a teen i was too immature to approach the gods and i was focusing on some important problems that i had, now that i have a time of peace i am indeed getting closer to satan.
I know this my sound like a paradox but when i opened the left hand door i felt like that there are another hundreds of door in front of me
I feel like my compass is broken, i don't really know what to do, the typical answer is "do the 40 day meditation" but even if i meditate it seems like i still don't know what to do, i know that satanism is a one way direction but i still have this sense of "i don't know what to do, i don't know if what i am doing is right, i don't know what my path is".
I know this is a part of the process, Satan don't ask me to just to belive, but to be devoted
Now don't get me wrong, i do belive in Lord Satan, but this is becoming a leap of faith, shouldn't satanism be a life style based upon real facts? It's like i want something that proves me the reality of all of this. It might be also the fault of my christian brainwashing in my childhood, becouse they tought me nazism is evil all that kind of shit, but the more i read on joyofsatan.org the more all of this has sense, but even if i truly belive in satanism i still feel not under satan's path, which is the worst feeling of the world, becouse i know the truth, and i know that all of this is real, but i just feel very distant.
What do you brother and sisters sugests to me? Becouse i know that someone here must have felt like me. Should i try to contact Satan?
I'd like to thank all of you who reply and help me.

Hey Satan

 

[SatAnon]

but even if i meditate it seems like i still don't know what to do, i know that satanism is a one way direction but i still have this sense of "i don't know what to do, i don't know if what i am doing is right, i don't know what my path is".

It has been clearly stated what to do on JoS. Have you read the entire JoS site?

And there's no "right thing", when doing the practices you should have no expectations. Not wondering "am i doing this right? Will this work?" or trying to compare your experience to others' because you're definitely doing it wrong if you are thinking and comparing in the midst of a power meditation session, because you are invoking your left brain in a practice that's supposed to be right-brained.

Sounds like your problem isn't not knowing what to do, but something else, like lack of interest.

Satan don't ask me to just to belive, but to be devoted
Now don't get me wrong, i do belive in Lord Satan, but this is becoming a leap of faith, shouldn't satanism be a life style based upon real facts? It's like i want something that proves me the reality of all of this.

You can prove it to yourself by practicing. And Satan doesn't require blind faith. As it's been said, you need to open your astral senses. If everyone were astrally open and could use their powers to communicate with the Gods, there wouldn't be any reason for JoS to exist. If it were easy, everybody would do it. It has nothing to do with external beings, but the fact that humans are on a low spiritual level and need to empower ourselves spiritually before we experience anything extraordinary.

What I'm recommending is put on a daily power meditation program, do some God rituals every week and make sure you write down the practices as part of your weekly program and follow it, do them in a specific hour each and don't deviate from the program. Do them without expectations just for the sake of them. Every time you practice, write your experiences or any comments in a journal which you will keep for that purpose. Every feeling you had, even small, write it down. After 1 year or so you can check your journal to see where you were 1 year before and you will notice that you have clearly advanced during that year based on your current experiences compared to your previous ones.

 

[Lightning_Puma]

Talk to Father Satan. Sit and focus on his sigil. His energy. Him personally.

And continue reading the Joy of Satan website. Also, don't forget to go to www.satanisgod.org

 

[Touka]

As long as you're dedicated and work towards improving yourself, the Gods may send you signs from time to time, help you even with little things. You may not realize that at the moment, but try to be open minded and overthink it too much. Sometimes things aren't easy and don't go as planned and it's ok, that's the reason you work on your spiritual development, so you can help yourself. If the Gods would help us with everything in life and make all the things easy for us, then what reason would we have to continue meditating and advancing? But the Gods are always here, listening to us, aiding with things that may not be so easily revealing. There were many times when I wanted a sign so badly that I would do anything and then I got surprised receiving one when I least expected. Surely there were times when you thought that something that happend to you was too good or surpring to be just a coincidence. I am most greatful for being a ss and have the opportunity see the truth and I am most greatful to Father Satan for this, for being with me when I needed, even in times when I did not meditated properly, for calming me with His presence and guiding me. There are so many Gods and you can try establish a connection with some of them. Do God's Rituals and you will feel that pull towards Some surely. It's OK the feel more attracted to some than the others, that might be due to your past lives or the things you need in your life at the moment. You might receive some signs then. Per example, I, unfortunately, don't know who my GD is but I always try talking to him. These past days, while meditating, I asked for any signs and the letter Z popped in my head. I look on the site and stopped at Lord Zepar. I didn't know what to think and I still don't know if He's my GD, but it was still amazing that just yesterday Hp Hodded Cobra posted a Rituals for Lord Zepar. It thought, wow, can it be just a coincidence... That was a lot to read and everyone has his/her own experience regarding SS, but just be open and take it easy. Sometimes it just takes time and patience.