You need to see a medical professional ASAP. You think Sun squares will fix your spine in a month or a year? You are just procrastinating and doing everything possible to not see a doctor. You will only get worse like that, not better.

What email did you write to? You need to contact TG Alchemist 7

Being an extrovert/introvert has nothing to do with self-esteem. Self-esteem means esteem for yourself, i.e., that you value yourself more than others value you. It means you don't need to get your validation from others. If you do, then you don't have much self-esteem.

This is a lack of fire element and/or self-esteem. There are dates for a Sun square coming up, I strongly encourage you to do one for self-esteem. You can affirm something like "My self-esteem is improving in a positive way for me, now and forevermore."

You will never feel or see anything if you don't want to do it. I don't know how else to say it. If you don't want to do it, you literally lack the faculties it takes to meditate because all your attention is elsewhere.

You cannot do two of the same square at once.

That is because you probably don't want to meditate at all. Are you getting distracted and fighting thoughts of other things, like work, video games, etc.? It's not difficult if you actually want to do it.

Look up Tony Robbins and how he's coached people into quitting smoking.

Why are you in such a rush? To see results and improve, you need to pay attention and be in the moment, not try to do everything as fast as possible. Do your meditations work? If you ever find yourself questioning your work, you are probably doing something wrong. There is a certainty and...

If you can't keep count, it means that you're distracted and not paying attention.

Have you ever done any of the God/Warfare rituals? Most of them end with AUM. Don't affirm anything afterwards. Read this page https://templeofzeus.org/AUM

The forum "member rank" is updated automatically based on post count. It doesn't mean much unless you are given a special rank as a form of recognition.

Affirmation (working is completed), vibrate AUM immediately after, wait a minute, then start next working. It works for everything, including squares.

Vibrate AUM once at the end of your workings. This will help a lot.

But she is black. It doesn't matter how white she looks, you know the truth. You'll ruin yourself and her.